


Break the Lock

by UnabashedBird



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Demisexual Daniel, Episode Related, F/M, Greyromantic Bisexual Vala, Humor, Post-Season 10, Romance, SG-1 team shenanigans, Slow Build, Stargate: The Ark of Truth, a little angsty at times I mean this is Daniel we're talking about after all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-01-25 20:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 60,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1661546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnabashedBird/pseuds/UnabashedBird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel and Vala learn how to get along. Be friends, even. They insist that's all there is to it. They're wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kicking

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, which so far had only been posted on FF.net but will now be posted here as well, and it exists because I wanted a canon-compliant story in which Daniel and Vala get there heads out of their butts and admit their feelings and kiss and all that lovely mushy stuff that my little shipper heart needs. So, this fic starts a few months after "Unending," and will eventually incorporate the events of "Ark of Truth."  
> The title comes from a line in the Florence + the Machine song "Kiss with a Fist," because that song describes the early stages of Daniel and Vala's relationship, both literally and metaphorically.  
> Warning: I am a horrifically slow writer, so updates will, alas, probably be few and far between.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains references to "Unending." Also pop culture.

Vala felt restless and out of sorts, and she couldn’t figure out why. Which of course only made it worse. Not that she was completely at a loss: she had a pretty good idea _who_ the problem was, just not why he had been getting to her so much lately.

Maybe it was that they’d been getting along too well. When they weren’t yelling at each other, that is. She sighed loudly and allowed her head to collapse onto her folded arms, kicking rhythmically at the table leg near her chair.

“If you’re bored, _leave_ ,” Daniel growled, not looking up from the book over which he was poring. “Or at least stop kicking the table,” he added, even more frustration creeping into his voice as the table jarred beneath his hand, turning the annotation he was attempting to make into an indecipherable scribble.

She increased the force and frequency of the kicking.

Daniel stood up, walked over to where she was sitting, grabbed the back of her chair, and wheeled it forcefully into the hall before she had time to figure out what he was doing and dismount. He quickly used his key card to close and lock the door behind her, then returned to his seat.

He paused a moment before resuming work. There was a time when what he had just done would have been immensely satisfying, but for some reason the feeling eluded him today.

Vala had always excelled at making him feel off balance, but lately it had been much worse. Maybe he was still adjusting to her bouts of unadulterated helpfulness: about a month ago, practically out of the blue, they had found themselves able to work together peacefully for days at a time, and, hard as it was for him to admit it, her assistance was often invaluable.

BANG.

Then, of course, there were days like today.

Days when she seemed to be going out of her way to drive him up the wall, just because she could.

BANG.

It didn’t even seem to bring her the prankster’s glee it once had, and if he started yelling she yelled back with joyless fervor.

BANG.

Before he met Vala, Daniel would never have imagined that non-verbal yelling could be so irritating. Or loud.

BANG.

* * *

Sam didn’t know whether it was more funny or sad that, from all the way down the corridor, she could pretty much tell exactly what was going on. Vala was sitting in a chair outside the closed—and probably locked, though she doubted that was much hindrance to Vala—door of Daniel’s office. Using the door frame to anchor herself so she wouldn’t roll away, Vala was repeatedly slamming both her feet against the door, taking advantage of the chair’s rotating seat to increase the force of impact and the volume of the resulting BANG.

They were at it again.

It didn’t go like clockwork, exactly, but recently most personnel who worked in the vicinity of Daniel’s office had learned that if Daniel and Vala got along for more than a day without at least a minor skirmish, it was time to duck and cover because another big one was brewing.

So when Cam had popped his head around the door of her lab and said, “Tag, you’re it,” before making himself scarce, Sam had immediately headed for Daniel’s office.

Vala hadn’t been planning to keep up the kicking for this long—she did have an unauthorized key card to the office stashed in her quarters, so she could let herself back in whenever she wanted. But the impact and the noise felt _good_. She was pretty sure therapeutic was the appropriate earth word.

She saw Sam coming towards her down the corridor, looking both amused and exasperated. Vala smiled, but she didn’t stop kicking.

“Mochaccinos and the mall,” Sam said by way of greeting. Vala clearly needed to get off the base for a while, and she wouldn’t mind the break herself.

Vala stopped herself mid spin. “When?”

“Now.”

“OK. I’ll meet you at the elevator in ten minutes.” And with that Vala jumped off the chair and skipped towards her quarters to change into civvies. Sam couldn’t help but smile at the ease with which her friend could bounce back into a good mood.

Daniel, on the other hand. . .

He looked up, tirade ready, when his office door slid open, but it was Sam instead of Vala. Feeling sulky, he tried to ignore her.

“Do you have a second?” she asked quietly. Even though part of him knew he was being childish, Daniel continued to work.

Sam sighed inwardly. Much as they hated to admit it, Daniel and Vala could be two peas in a pod: they both reverted to the mindset of aggrieved teenagers when provoked in certain ways.

“OK, then, I’ll just talk. I’m taking Vala off base for the afternoon. Change of scenery, retail therapy, girl time, that sort of thing. I’m hoping maybe you’ll use some of that time to figure things out on your end, because whatever problem you two are having is getting out of hand. If you have to fight, you really need to find a less disruptive way to do it. I’ll see you later.”

“Sam—“ Daniel finally looked up, but she had already left. He felt guilty for pretending to ignore her like that, especially when she was right. He decided to go talk to Teal’c.

* * *

Sam had managed to convince Vala to get the mochaccinos before they hit the mall—she didn’t say so aloud, but Sam thought it would be better for Vala’s bank account if she completely recovered from today’s fight before the shopping began.

“So,” Sam began, sitting down opposite Vala and handing her her drink, “want to tell me what Daniel’s office door did to deserve getting the crap kicked out of it like that?”

Vala smiled. Sam might not have been a jokester like Cam, but in her own quiet way she was often better at seeing the funny side of things than the boys were, at least where Vala and her antics were concerned. She liked having a friend like that—it made it easier to talk about things. Maybe that’s all she needed: to talk through this mess. What was the earth phrase? Verbal something.

“Yes. The door. That _could_ have been related to the person hiding _behind_ it, but I admit _nothing_. And, OK, I suppose if we’re going to be technical about it I _may_ have started this one. But it’s his—I mean its—fault that I was all, oh, what’s the word? Something to do with insects.”

“Antsy?”

“Antsy! That’s the one! You have such delightful idioms on this planet. Anyway, it’s Daniel’s fault that I was antsy, so I didn’t really start it at all!”

Sam raised her eyebrows, but she also smiled. She suspected there was more truth in the excuse than Vala would like to admit. “Wait. I’m confused. I thought we were talking about the door?”

“Oh, you know perfectly well who we’re talking about, there’s no need to rub it in!” Vala retorted, glaring good-naturedly over the rim of her cup as she sipped her coffee.

“Hey, you know me, great with the physics, easily confused by interpersonal metaphors,” Sam rejoined, half-heartedly attempting to conceal her grin with her drink.

“You know, for the most intelligent woman I’ve ever met, you can talk such nonsense,” Vala replied. “I’m fairly certain that you’re the most interpersonally aware of the five of us. Well, with the possible and recent exception of Teal’c, but he has an unfair advantage, what with those fifty years on the _Odyssey_.”

Sam ducked her head in acknowledgment of the compliment. “Does that mean you won’t bite my head off if I ask what Daniel does that makes you antsy?” she asked, steering the conversation back on course.

Vala stuck out her tongue, but Sam only smiled and raised her eyebrows. Resigned, Vala tried to explain. “Oh, you know. He’s just so. . . so. . . _him_. All work no play. ‘Don’t touch that.’ ‘I don’t care what happened in the episode of _Lost_ you watched last night.’ ‘Spending hours scrutinizing this artifact _is_ fun, Vala, so shut up or go away.’” She paused for breath, but Sam sensed there was more, so she didn’t say anything.

“Except sometimes I sort of get it. Sometimes, when we’re on a new planet, or there’s something I can actually help with in his office, he’ll figure something out about people, actual people. And I get it, because it’s a connecting point between us and them. A glimpse of their world. And just because I’d rather get that from your television or by meeting people in a bar doesn’t mean I can’t see why he loves his way so much.

“Maybe I just wish that he’d make as much of an effort to see my side as I do to see his. Well, I say effort. I mean I do make one. Some of the time. When I’m not already so bored that I somewhat deliberately start a shouting match because at least that might use up enough energy for me to be able to take a nap afterwards. Shut up.” She glared at Sam over the rim of her cup.

Sam dimmed her amused grin into an understanding smile. “Feel better?” Vala nodded, sipping her drink. “For the record, I think you’re probably right. About why you get so frustrated, I mean.”

“Well, thank you Dr. Carter,” Vala replied, genially sarcastic.

“Come on, it makes sense. Lately you’ve been trying harder to understand Daniel’s perspective, which is why you’ve been able to get along so well, but he hasn’t returned the favor, which is why the fights have been so bad.”

“Please tell me this is your roundabout way of bestowing your blessing on me giving him a well earned kick in the pants,” Vala pleaded.

“I think we both know that would be counter-productive, even though he does kind of deserve it. Which you did not hear from me,” Sam replied, and they both laughed.

Vala felt better. Sometimes figuring out the nature of the problem really was the hardest part. . .

“So with the kick in the pants off the table, what _are_ you going to do?” Sam asked.

. . . or not. Vala swallowed. “Umm. I suppose _technically_ I should apologize. . . to the poor door. As a start.”

“Well,” Sam replied, eyes twinkling, “I think _the door_ is particularly fond of the house roast they sell here,” she said, indicating the bags of ground coffee by the shop’s counter. Vala beamed.

“Excellent. And now that that’s sorted, we can move on to more important topics.”

“Such as?”

“Such as you fulfilling your promise to explain about football and why it’s so important to so many of the males of your culture in a way that actually makes sense; Mitchell’s inability to contain his enthusiasm always renders him incoherent about thirty seconds in.”

“Ah. Well . . .”

* * *

“Greetings Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c said as Daniel entered his quarters. “Does something trouble you?” he asked.

“Well, I think it’s common knowledge by now that Vala and I have been fighting—I mean really fighting—a lot lately,” Daniel replied, leaning against the wall.

“Indeed.” Teal’c responded, with something Daniel thought looked suspiciously like a twinkle in his eye. It was an unusual expression for Teal’c, but Daniel had noticed it a lot more since their fateful trip on the _Odyssey_. He wondered what memories lay behind that look.

“Anyway, Sam just took me to task about it, said that if Vala and I have to fight we need to be less disruptive about it, but Vala just, I don’t know, gets under my skin, and I know she does at least some of it on purpose, and I don’t seem to be able to deal with it anymore.” Daniel had pushed himself off the wall and started pacing.

“Mmm.”

“And you know, none of this would be a problem if she would just leave me alone to get my work done, but of course she can’t do that, because as far as she’s concerned my main purpose in life is to be her plaything when she’s bored!”

“Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c interrupted, “is it not the case that Vala Mal Doran has also been increasingly helpful to you in your work in recent weeks?”

“Well, yeah, on the occasions that she takes a break from driving me _nuts_ ,” Daniel admitted.

“Does she then assist you only out of boredom?”

“What? Of course. Why else would she. . .” Teal’c raised an eyebrow, and Daniel trailed off. Now that he thought about it, Vala _had_ seemed interested in his work for its own sake, and not as the last line of defense against boredom, during the last month or so.

“OK. So she’s finally catching on to the fact that my work is fascinating. That doesn’t explain why she’s even more of a pain in the ass the rest of the time or help me figure out how to deal with it.”

“Have you considered devoting some of your time to the things that interest her?” Teal’c queried.

Daniel didn’t see what that had to do with it. “I’m not following you, Teal’c. What do fashion magazines and too much TV have to do with Vala driving me further up the wall than ever before? She’s been into that stuff ever since she came here.”

“It appears to me that Vala Mal Doran has recently made an effort to understand why you enjoy your work, but that you have made no reciprocal effort towards her interests. Could this imbalance not be the source of her increased antagonism towards you?”

“Oh.” Daniel was ashamed for not figuring that out on his own, and even more ashamed that he probably wouldn’t have. Still, he had a potentially non-torturous idea of how to start fixing things.

“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that _Lost_ show she’s always going on about, would you?”

Teal’c smiled. “Indeed I do, Daniel Jackson. Vala Mal Doran and I often watch it together. I believe it is considered a very intelligent program, with many references to the religion, philosophy, and literature of your world. Were you to watch it, you would perhaps not find it unpleasant.” Teal’c chose not to mention that one of the main points in the show’s favor, in the eyes of Vala Mal Doran, was what she deemed the attractiveness of several of the male characters.

Daniel thought that sounded surprisingly promising. “OK. Thanks, Teal’c. I really appreciate it.”

“I am glad to have been of assistance, Daniel Jackson.”

Daniel went back to his office and worked in peace, both environmental and internal, for the next several hours.

* * *

Vala knocked on the door frame of Daniel’s office. He looked up.

“Can I come in?” she asked, hovering hopefully, hands behind her back.

“Only if you show me what you’re hiding behind your back first.” He wanted to mend things, but Vala hiding something was always reason to play it safe.

“Oh, this?” she said innocently, bringing the large bag of ground coffee out from behind her back. “It’s just my apology. For the kicking.” And she walked in and set the bag on the table in front of Daniel, then, after checking for breakable items, hoisted herself up and sat, legs swinging.

Daniel picked up the bag and inhaled the aroma of his favorite coffee appreciatively. “Apology accepted.” She flashed him a grin, jumped down from the table, and made to leave the room.”

“Wait.” She paused and turned to look at him quizzically. “I was thinking.”

“Well now, there’s a shock,” she interjected playfully. Daniel rolled his eyes, but he didn’t really mind.

“It’s been pointed out to me that you’ve been showing a genuine interest in my work, but I haven’t, um, reciprocated. And _Lost_ sounds like it might not actually be that bad. So, if you wanted, I could watch it with you sometimes. To even things out.”

Vala’s eyes had lit up as Daniel talked, and he couldn’t help giving her a small smile. Only a small one, though: she looked like she was scheming a million miles a minute and he didn’t want this to get out of hand.

“Right. Season 3 just finished a couple of months ago, and season 4 isn’t in the air yet—“

“ _On_ the air.”

“Whatever. Teal’c has the first two seasons on DVD, which is what I’ve been watching. So we’ll just use those and start from the beginning!” She ran to him, grabbed him by the arm, and began dragging him from the office.

“Whoa, slow down!” Daniel protested, freeing his arm with difficulty. “I guess that’s OK, but I am _not_ marathon-watching. In case you’ve forgotten, we’ve still got work and an imperiled galaxy.” She began to pout. “But I’m willing to watch the first few episodes with you tonight, _after_ I finish up here,” he concluded, indicating the work spread out on the table behind him.

Vala gave the books, papers, and sundry a cursory glance, then nodded. “Meet me in the mess in half an hour for supper,” she told him decisively. “After that, your education begins!” And she bounced out of the room before he could either agree or protest.

Seconds after he resumed his seat, she stuck her head around the door. “If you’re late, I’m coming to get you. With fluffy pink handcuffs.” She was gone again.

Daniel put down his pen and began cleaning up his work for the night.

* * *

“Burning the midnight oil again, Jackson?” Cam ribbed as Daniel yawned hugely while they made their way to the briefing room the next day.

“Not exactly. I stayed up really late watching _Lost_ with Vala.”

“OK. Who are you and what have you done with Jackson?”

“Hilarious, Mitchell. You shouldn’t mock: the theory is that it will help us stop fighting,” Daniel retorted.

Cam put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Say no more, say no more. Whatever it takes to get you two back to normal.” Daniel looked at him incredulously. “Point. Back to not biting each other’s heads off so loudly that we’ve had complaints from Atlantis.” Daniel glared.

“Y’know,” Cam said, “I don’t think you’ve had enough coffee yet.”

Daniel smiled ruefully. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Actually, that reminds me: Vala bought me some of my favorite roast yesterday, and I left it in my office. I’m gonna go make myself a cup, and I’ll see you at the briefing.”

Sam didn’t catch what Daniel said to make Cam freeze, but he hadn’t quite recovered from the shock when she caught up to him in the corridor.

“Everything OK?” she asked.

Cam turned to stare at her. “That,” he stated emphatically, “is an interesting question, and you might well know the answer better than I do.” Sam raised her eyebrows in query.

“Apparently Vala bought Jackson specialty coffee. And Jackson stayed up late watching _Lost_ with Vala. Now, I know we all want them to stop blowing up at each other, but this is just. . .” he hummed the _Twilight Zone_ theme. Sam laughed.

“Admit it, Cam, you’re just worried you’ll lose the bet about if and when Daniel and Vala get together.”

For the second time in as many minutes, Cam found himself rooted to the spot in shock as one of his teammates strode off after dropping what, for him, was a bombshell. Sam was _not_ supposed to know about that particular betting pool. And if she knew about that, the odds were she knew about. . .

 _Crap_.


	2. New Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter references plot arcs from seasons 1-5 and 7 as well as brief, specific references to the episodes "Heroes Parts 1 and 2" and "Momento Mori." Also various pop-culture references.

To say that things didn’t look good out there was an understatement. It had gotten to the point that nearly every SG team returned from nearly every mission with reports of yet another planet accepting Origin. The absence of the Orici, the possible death of the Ori themselves, made no difference to the Priors and their armies. If anything, their fervor had increased.

Daniel was puttering around his apartment, finishing setting things out for team night, talking on the phone with Jack and trying to explain the grimness of the situation.

“No offense, Jack, but you’re not out there seeing it any more. I don’t think you can understand how. . .” he sighed, “how hopeless it feels.”

“Now, see, I have a problem with that,” Jack retorted. “There is no way you’re going to convince me that you, Dr. Jackson, knower of an unholy number of means of communication, is incapable of yacking on about it until I either get the point or die of boredom. And it’s no good rolling your eyes at me, I can’t see you,” he added.

Daniel rolled his eyes anyway. Typical Jack: try to lighten the mood by any means necessary. He kind of had a point, though. “Fine. It’s like. . . like when we first started out, and the Goa’uld were so powerful, and just _everywhere_ , that it was almost impossible to imagine ever overthrowing them. It’s like all the times we thought we’d killed Apophis, only to have him show up again, usually stronger than ever before. It’s like when we thought we’d finally be able to cripple the System Lords, only to have Anubis show up and make everything worse. It’s like. . .” then it hit him, the perfect analogy: “Jack, it’s like watching the years we spent defeating the Goa’uld in reverse, sped up, except the Ori’s followers are even more fanatical and unquestioning, and we’re completely on our own.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“At least we know we’re stubborn enough to keep trying anyway. Or at least you are.”

Daniel smiled ruefully. “It is one of the few things we’ve always had in common,” he pointed out.

“Yeah. So. . . “ Jack wracked his brains for a good change of subject. Preferably one that would irritate Daniel out of this vein of near-despair about the Ori situation. Oh, of course! “How’s Vala?”

Daniel blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I hear things have calmed down. Do I need to give her some tips on new ways to annoy you?”

“For God’s sake Jack!”

Oh yeah. He’d definitely hit the right nerve. Time to have some fun. “Kidding. Mostly. I hear she’s got you watching kind of a lot of TV. Make’s a guy wonder how she persuaded you: all those years of friendship and I can count the number of _Simpsons_ episodes you watched with me without taking my shoes off. Are you very sure she doesn’t have hidden superpowers? Mind control, maybe?”

“Only if irritating the hell out of me counts. But I thought that was _your_ superpower, Jack.” Daniel was experiencing the weird combination of perturbation and enjoyment that only a conversation with Jack O’Neill could inspire. With friends like these. . .

“Oh, it was, but I passed most of it on to her in a clandestine ritual involving beer and country music.” Jack heard Daniel snort. “Fortunately, she already had a lot of natural aptitude, so I was able to retain some of my powers.”

“Obviously.”

There was a pause. Jack knew he might regret it, but now that he’d gotten Daniel to lighten up, he needed to gauge how his friend was handling everything.

“Seriously, Daniel, are you OK?”

“Yeah, Jack,” Daniel answered, realizing with some surprise that he meant it. He decided to try and explain. “I. . . it’s weird. Have you seen the show _Lost_?”

This conversation was going in an unexpected direction. “Yep. I like Sawyer.”

Daniel rolled his eyes again. “Of _course_ you do. Anyway, that’s the show Vala and I have been watching. And, I don’t know, I guess there’s something comforting about seeing fictional people overcome extraordinary circumstances to survive and even thrive another day. Plus. . .” No. Jack would laugh. Or get the wrong idea. Or both. “Never mind.”

Oh, no. Jack was _so_ not letting this go: whatever Daniel had been about to say had to do with him being in a good frame of mind, and Jack liked to keep track of things like that, just in case. “What?”

Daniel recognized Jack’s stubborn voice: he wasn’t going to drop the subject until Daniel told him. Damn. “Don’t get the wrong idea, and don’t laugh, OK?”

Jack’s mouth ran ahead of his brain, being flip at just the wrong moment: “No promises, Danny boy.”

“Jack!” Daniel needed his friend to be serious if he was going to talk about this.

“Sorry. No laughing, no wrong ideas. Got it. Please go on.”

Daniel sighed. “OK. So Vala’s a very physical person. With everyone, though she does tend to single me out, probably for the same reason she goes out of her way to annoy me more than anyone else.” Jack was inclined to agree, but for the moment he kept his ideas about what that reason was to himself.

“So she tends to use me as a human pillow while we watch _Lost_. And, I don’t know, I guess it reminds me of Abydos. I guess I’d forgotten, but everyone there was really physical, always touching, and it was no big deal. It was part of life. Vala being that way, too, is. . . nice.” Daniel was somewhat taken aback: he hadn’t made that connection until just now, but he knew it was right. He set to work _not_ thinking through the possible implications.

Jack had never asked for details about Daniel’s time on Abydos any more than Daniel asked about Jack’s home life from before Charlie died. But Jack had gotten the impression that, despite it being a foreign culture on another _planet_ , Abydos had been more of a home for Daniel, in the best sense of the word, than anywhere else had been for a very long time. Jack knew that the SGC had become home for Daniel since then, but he still got wistful if Abydos came up in conversation. So Vala had started reminding Daniel of his old home, huh?

Jack smirked. He was _so_ going to win that betting pool.

However, as he often did, he played dumb. “Well, I don’t pretend to know what you’re talking about any more than I usually do, but it sounds to me like you’ve found an almost normal way to kick back and relax. Of course, you could always cross all the way over into normal and at least try and sed—“

“Jack!” Fortunately for Jack, before Daniel had time to properly lose his temper, the doorbell rang. He heard Daniel call “It’s open!”

“Expecting company?”

“Team night. My turn to host.” Jack felt a pang as he heard the sound of greetings and the bustle of final setup on the other end: food and drinks being arranged on Daniel’s coffee table, seats being claimed, the movie prepped. Jack missed that. Then he heard Carter’s voice, and he remembered his most recent fishing trip. Yeah, he missed being part of the team, but there were definite benefits to no longer working at the SGC. He smiled, good mood restored.

“Whose turn to pick the movie?” he inquired.

“We’re watching _Star Wars_ ,” Daniel answered, resigned. Translation: Teal’c.

“For crying out loud. How many times has he seen that now?”

“I have no idea, but Sam and Cam have a bet on it. I can fill you in later.”

“That’s OK: I think I’d rather not know. Sometimes I really can’t handle the truth. Out of curiosity, _why_ are you indulging his excessive obsession with those movies?”

“Vala hasn’t seen them yet.”

“Of course. Continuing the cultural education. Hey, I’ll bet she has a deep, spiritual connection with Han Solo. Which, if half the rumors are true, would make you Princess—“

“Good _bye_ , Jack,” Daniel said, ending the call. If the rumors were true? What the hell did that mean? He pushed it out of his mind—probably just more fallout from Vala’s insistence on calling their disastrously interrupted dinner outing a date, combined with the recently increased amount of time they spent in one another’s company.

“How’s the general?” Cam asked, popping the lid off a beer and settling into one of the easy chairs.

“Obnoxious,” Daniel replied succinctly. Cam looked like he didn’t quite know how to respond, but Sam and Vala both grinned.

“What?” he groused, wondering if he would regret asking.

“Well, did the sun also rise in the east this morning? At least from your perspective?” Sam asked, eyes twinkling.

Daniel couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, you may have a point there,” he conceded.

They all filled their plates, poured themselves drinks, and arranged themselves around Daniel’s small living room. He, Sam, and Vala were on the couch, and he was pretty sure Vala had picked the middle on purpose: both he and Sam would no doubt be human pillows by the middle of the movie. He would pretend to mind more than he did since he didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea. Again.

Vala found room for her feet on the coffee table, narrowly avoiding upsetting a bottle of wine and one of the take-out containers in the process. Fortunately, no one noticed her near miss, or at least refrained from commenting if they did. Which meant Daniel _definitely_ didn’t see. That was good: grumpy Daniel tended to be much less tolerant of being used as a human pillow.

“So,” she began, between large bites of food, “what am I in for this time? It must be good if Teal’c has seen it—how many times did you say it was, Muscles?”

“Nineteen.”

“NINETEEN?!?” chorused Daniel, Sam, and Cam.

Teal’c smiled broadly. “Indeed.”

Cam fished in his pocket and passed Sam some folded bills. “One of these days I’m gonna learn my lesson,” he said ruefully.

“Not any time soon, I hope,” said Sam, and even Cam had to chuckle. Teal’c, however, was all business. He waited for the merriment to cease, then hit play.

_A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. . ._

* * *

 

As much as was possible given their jobs, Daniel and Vala had developed a rhythm. When they weren’t off world or in briefings or other meetings, they spent the working day in Daniel’s office. If Vala could help with what he was working on, she did. If not, she had a corner where she could do paperwork or study up on any number of subjects that would increase her range of helpfulness to the team. Lately she had been focusing on languages because, though loathe to admit it, she enjoyed helping Daniel, and if she treated them like puzzles then they could actually be interesting, at least for a while. Daniel pretended not to notice that she had picked up the trick of hiding a book or magazine inside the work-related material she was supposed to be studying, because if she was fully occupied then he could continue getting work done.

Sometimes Vala spent the day helping Sam in her lab instead. Although she did so less incessantly than previously, Vala still asked a lot of questions, so Daniel appreciated the quiet on those days. Well, mostly: there was a small part of him, a part he worked very hard to ignore, that was getting used to her near-constant presence in his office and almost missed her when she wasn’t there. But only almost. Or so he told himself.

Vala liked helping Sam on occasion, but she would find herself looking up, about to say something to Daniel, and have to remind herself that he wasn’t there. Those were odd, slightly disconcerting moments, though not as disconcerting as the little twinge the fresh observation of his absence brought.

After work, if the team didn’t have evening plans, Daniel and Vala met in the mess for supper. Apparently, Daniel had quickly learned, those who had their evening meal there on a regular basis were not only accustomed, but actually looked forward to, Vala’s delight in regaling anyone who would listen with tales of her exploits throughout the galaxy. Daniel thus often found himself eating in a combination of amused, exasperated, and irritated silence as he tried to puzzle the truths from the lies in her seemingly far-fetched stories.

His ability to detect her deviations from truth, which ranged from poetic license and exaggerations to outright lies depending on the story and the audience, had greatly improved in the course of their acquaintance. But, for better or worse, Vala had spent years honing the art of deception, so even he was never entirely sure which parts of her stories were basically true and which should have set her pants ablaze.

And thanks to the great delight she took in keeping him on his toes, asking her, once the story was over and the audience had dispersed, was an exercise in futility.

“Honestly, though: were they _really_ motherships? And how many, really? Because I might just be able to believe motherships if there were fewer.”

“You know, Daniel, if people were as skeptical about our mission reports as you are about my past, nothing would ever get done around here.”

“It’s not the same thing and you know it!”

“Suit yourself. Now come on, I need my daily dose of shirtless Sawyer!”

Pretending like he already knew the truth and just wanted _her_ to admit it was also fruitless; she was much better at calling his bs than he was at detecting hers, at least in this area.

“Just admit it: it was only one tenth the amount of naquadah and a quarter the number of guards. It’s still a good story with those numbers, plus you get the added bonus of believability.”

“If you choose to doubt my professional prowess, Daniel, that’s entirely your affair. I stand by what I said, and you can pretend to be as confident as you like: if you were really sure you would have corrected me in front of everyone.”

Daniel had made that mistake exactly once. Vala’s reaction had reminded him of the line in _The Lord of the Rings_ about the pique of a liar who is doubted when they actually told the truth for once. However, she had been genuinely upset, though the specifics were different than what Daniel originally assumed: he had interrupted the flow of her story and damaged her rapport with her audience, and there was no way she was taking that lying down. She was used to Daniel doubting her, but there was an established suspension of disbelief that accompanied her story-telling tradition in the mess, and she didn’t appreciate Daniel disrupting everything just because he had a quibble about strict veracity.

In the end he had apologized profusely, taken her out to dinner, endured her referring to the dinner as “finally finishing our date,” and watched six episodes of _Lost_ in one night. (“Just making up for lost time, darling.” “You’re the one who was sulking and pretending I didn’t exist.” “You’re the one who was an asshat.” She _would_ get that one right. He strongly suspected he had a certain general to thank for that.)

After supper they watched a couple of _Lost_ episodes, during which Vala used Daniel as some form of human pillow: sometimes she just leaned her head on his shoulder, other times his legs became a footrest, and sometimes she sprawled across his lap and used his leg to support her arm, which in turn propped up her head, all the while leaning back against his torso.

He made sure to grouse about it every time, but like he told Jack, he had found he didn’t really mind: there was something very innocent about it, as if she just liked the companionship created by physical contact. There was nothing sexual about it.

Vala had been surprised by how little resistance Daniel offered to her penchant for finding somewhat creative ways to lean all over him during their nightly _Lost_ episodes. She was even more surprised by how quickly the grumbling became merely token, but pretended to take it seriously: she didn’t want to lose her current license to sprawl all over him, and suspected that letting him know that she knew he didn’t mind might get her banished to the other side of the couch.

During the episodes, Vala drove Daniel nuts by frequently pausing the disc to ask questions about references she didn’t understand. She, meanwhile, was frustrated by his calm through plot twists and shocking character revelations and the like. Still, they managed to end most evenings more or less amiably, even after disagreements about whether particular characters were making good choices, and went their separate ways for the night.

Daniel had done the math, and at the rate they were going they would finish season 2 several weeks before season 3 became available on DVD. He didn’t want to revert to the fights from before their odd new balance had been struck (nor, a small voice in the back of his mind that was getting harder to tune out insisted, did he want to give up the time they spent together; he ignored the voice and hoped it would go away), so he decided they’d need something else to fill the gap. He didn’t have a clue what might fit the bill, and he already endured enough ribbing from his teammates and co-workers about the amount of time he and Vala had been spending together, so he couldn’t ask them. Where to turn for help?

Then the perfect solution hit him: Cassie. He sent her an email.

Subject line: _in need of your expertise_

 

> _Hey Cassie,_
> 
> _I don’t know how much of this has reached you through the SGC and Friends rumor mill, but Vala and I have found that watching_ Lost _together helps us get along. As in, we’re co-workers who have figured out how to be better friends with one another. And despite what you may have heard, that’s_ all _it is. Really._
> 
> _Anyway, we’re almost done with the currently available episodes, and I was wondering if you could recommend another show that Vala would like and I wouldn’t hate?_
> 
> _Oh, I’ve just had a thought! If you’d also be willing to recommend books that are culturally relevant and that Vala might be convinced to read (you know about her attention span, right?), that would also be great._
> 
> _I hope everything’s good with you, and thanks in advance!_
> 
> _Daniel_

He received a reply the next day.

 

> _Daniel,_
> 
> _Regarding the nature of your relationship with Vala: it’s probably none of my business, but methinks the gentleman doth protest too much._
> 
> _Oh, my god. I just typed that without even thinking about it. Jack’s right: I really am irrevocably a geek. And if you think I don’t know that you just mentally, and maybe aloud if you’re alone, cussed him out in at least five languages for teaching me to disparage even my own geekiness, you’re wrong. Just because you can be multicultural about it doesn’t make you less of a pottymouth, so shame on you!_
> 
> _Anyway, to business. Watch_ Buffy the Vampire Slayer _: Vala will eat it up and I think you’ll like it. It’s basically about the main characters growing up and learning how to live in this monumentally screwed-up world, and most of that is done through the metaphor of fighting monsters. That might sound ridiculous, but I’m being completely serious when I say that I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through Mom’s death without_ Buffy _: it’s that well done._
> 
> _As for books: I_ refuse _to recommend anything until I have proof that you’ve both read_ Harry Potter _. Seriously, Daniel, it pains me that you haven’t yet: I’ve been telling you how good they are for years, and they’re full of all these mythical references and I’m pretty sure I miss a lot of the significance of the names just because I don’t know Latin and Greek. Plus, the last book (holy crap! I am not prepared for it to be the last, but I need to know what happens! crap!) is about to come out, so you won’t even have to deal with the suspense!_
> 
> _However, because I’m a giver, I will offer you one hint about getting Vala to read: audiobooks. The HP ones are supposed to be really good, and I bet there’s good ones of other (less important) books with which you’d like her to be familiar._
> 
> _Hope this is enough to maintain your more harmonious_ relationship _until season 3 of_ Lost _is released. Stay safe!_
> 
> _Cassie_

Daniel smiled. Hearing from Cassie usually brightened his day regardless, even if she was joining the rest of his friends in being a relentless tease about Vala, and her recommendations were exactly what he needed. It looked like he had some shopping to do.


	3. Unexpected Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References the episodes "The Gamekeeper" and "The Ties that Bind." And more pop culture.

“Is it just me,” Vala said, without preamble, “or are the women in these stories rather atrociously limited in what they can actually _do_?”

Daniel looked up from the artifact he was examining, and Vala flashed him the cover of the book to which she referred: an illustrated collection of stories about King Arthur and his knights. “It’s not just you,” he informed her.

“Well, it’s not fair! You’ve got all these strapping, if tiresomely virtuous, men running around having adventures, and the only women who are remotely interesting always turn out to be evil! _What_?” Daniel had the strangest look on his face, as though a smile and shock had a fight that resulted in a draw.

He turned away. He wasn’t sure what his face looked like but he didn’t want to pique her curiosity any further: this wasn’t something he wanted to discuss. Or rather, the places the conversation could easily lead weren’t ones he cared to visit. Not here, not with Vala. “Nothing.”

“Oh, no you don’t! That was _not_ a ‘nothing’ face!” She folded her arms, made what Daniel called her stubborn face, and waited for him to capitulate.

He glanced over, saw her posture, and sighed. “Fine. Your, uh, feminist rant. It, uh, well . . . you just kind of . . . sounded like my mom for a minute there.”

Suddenly Vala had a thousand questions, but she held herself in check. Something in Daniel’s voice, the way he wasn’t quite looking at her, signaled that she would learn more by letting him say what he planned to say.

“See, I remember my dad reading to me from a book like that when I was little,” Daniel continued, not quite able to believe he was telling her this, choosing his words with care so that, if he was lucky, she wouldn’t know this was anything but a typical (for him) childhood memory, “and my mom interrupting to say basically what you just said. They would have these friendly arguments about it, with him saying that he saw her point but they were still good stories, and her saying that she never said they weren’t but it’s important to draw attention to the sexism so we don’t get complacent. And yes, I knew what complacent meant when I was little.”

Vala smiled at his anticipatory statement, but took a moment to figure out how to respond. She’d always assumed Daniel avoided talking about his parents for reasons similar to hers, but now she thought she might’ve gotten it wrong: maybe he’d had an unhappy childhood due to an entirely different, and more tragic, set of circumstances. Even though she was burning with curiosity, she decided to give him an out, since he hadn’t wanted to broach the subject in the first place.

“What’s ‘feminist’?”

Daniel smiled, relieved that this was the direction the conversation was taking. “Oh, that’s complicated, but it’s basically a movement that strives to bring about equality between the genders in all areas of society. And when I say ‘basically,’ I mean that I really couldn’t put it any more simplistically than that, but that’s _far_ from all there is to it.”

“Huh. I wouldn’t have pegged you Tau’ri as one of the societies that still didn’t have that sorted, what with this being the birthplace of human civilization and all that.”

“You’re saying you’ve been places where they _did_ have gender equality, uh, ‘sorted’?” Daniel asked, intrigued.

“Of course. In fact, I grew up in one of those places. Well, from when I was eight, anyway. I rather think the village before that was more rigid in their notions of gender-appropriate behavior. Actually, that would explain a few things. . .” she trailed off, looking thoughtful.

“You got in trouble a lot, didn’t you?” Daniel asked shrewdly.

“Yes, and I never understood why the boys weren’t punished nearly as severely for exactly the same behavior. I guess they didn’t have feminism yet. Did I use that correctly?”

“Yeah. So the place you moved when you were eight—was it just a different village, or—?”

“It was a city, and it was on another planet. It was overseen by a minor Goa’uld who had allowed a degree of technological development in order to increase mining productivity. Based on what I’ve heard you and Sam say, it was probably comparable to your country some time in the first half of the last century.

We lived near this mechanic, who I later learned was the best in the city, but at the time I idolized her because she not only let me hide out in the shop when I was avoiding, well, never mind what. Anyway, she let me do that, and she showed me how things worked if she had the time, and not a peep about it being too dangerous for someone my age. Plus her kids were the first friends I made there.” Vala paused. She hadn’t meant to mention Lali and Avel. Especially Avel.

Daniel saw something flicker across Vala’s face, and it occurred to him that she may have been talking about the last home she had before she was taken as a host. He didn’t want her to feel like she had to talk about that if she didn’t want to. It was none of his business anyway. But before he could find a tactful way to change the subject, Vala found her own out.

“Anyway, though there’s no doubt my childhood exploits are far more fascinating that whatever that thing is,” she gestured towards the artifact, “I’d better let you get back to it. I want you in a good mood for the season finale tonight!”

“Hang on. I thought we had four episodes left, not two.”

“Oh, we do. That’s why I want you in a good mood!” she said, flashing him a grin.

Daniel rolled his eyes. “No.”

“You say that now, but I’d like to remind you that I’ve been on my best behavior, plus I’m sure it’s going to be very exciting, and—“

“Vala. If you don’t want to lose what little chance you have of changing my mind, why don’t you try shutting up,” Daniel interjected, hoping to milk as much peace and quiet out of the situation as possible.

She mimed zipping her mouth closed, locking it, and throwing away the key.

“You won’t last half an hour,” Daniel said, attempting a little reverse psychology. He glanced at her, and she was eyeing him suspiciously. He should know better than to try and beat her at her own game, but wasn’t she the one who was always saying that you can’t blame a person for trying? He did his best to look innocent. Vala snorted, suspicions confirmed, but she also went back to her book.

For the moment, a truce.

* * *

“Sorry, it’s _how_ long until we get season 3?!” Vala asked plaintively.

“A few weeks,” Daniel answered warily—he knew how invested she allowed herself to get; according to Cassie, they were lucky Vala hadn’t discovered online “fandom.” When Daniel asked what that was, she said he’d have to research it for himself, but not to worry because it would be fun, what with his love of learning about other cultures; he hadn’t had time yet.

“A few _weeks_!” Vala wailed, and collapsed dramatically onto the couch. Daniel

managed to get out of her way just in time, getting up to turn on the hot pot so he could make her a cup of tea to help her calm down. In the mean time, he needed a way to distract her from her preoccupation with the season finale cliffhanger.

“Can I ask you something about what we talked about earlier today?” he ventured.

Vala removed the pillow she had tossed over her face for added flair, feeling the beginnings of a break in the frantic circling of her thoughts. “Of course. Since when do you ask permission before you ask me questions?”

“Since I want to make sure you know it’s OK if you don’t answer.”

Now he had her attention. She pulled herself into a sitting position and, since he seemed to be waiting for a response from her, nodded.

“Those people you mentioned—Lali and Avel?—“ she nodded again, thinking that she might very well exercise that option to not answer whatever question this was going to turn into.

“Well, and I admit I could be completely off base here, but it sounded like they were good friends of yours, at least when you were a kid, so I was wondering if you ever reconnected with them, after . . .” he trailed off, not sure what the right way to say it was.

“After I was freed from Qetesh,” Vala supplied matter-of-factly as a click from the hot pot indicated that the water had boiled and Daniel poured it into a mug, using the string attached to the bag of chamomile to dunk it up and down so it would steep more efficiently, a gesture so practiced it was almost absent-minded. He carried the mug over to Vala, passing it to her carefully, and sat down next to her, waiting to see if she would answer.

Vala stared at her tea for a moment, then made her decision. “You know what’s funny? I sort of already told you,” she said, not looking up.

Daniel tried to recall whatever tall tale into which she had embedded this tidbit, but drew a blank. “Sorry, you’ll have to refresh my memory. If you want to.”

“Well, that’s not really your fault, given that at the time I allowed you to think that ‘messing with you,’ as you put it, included false information as well as manipulative use of that information. Also I’d like to point out that my ability to articulate that distinction indicates _far_ too much time spent assisting you with Ancient texts.”

Daniel barely heard her teasing remark, because now he knew what she was talking about. “You mean what you said when you tried to seduce me after we figured out we were still cuffed together even without the bracelets, about being engaged before you were a host but then rejected after you were freed. That really happened?” Daniel was horrified: that she had to go through that, that he’d been so quick to assume it was a lie, and, maybe worst of all, that part of him knew perfectly well how such a thing could happen, even if her fiancé had still loved her.

“More or less. Let’s just say that, thanks to some things Qetesh did while I was her host, no one believed it was really me when I went back—Avel least of all. I barely escaped with my life—wouldn’t have, if the Tok’ra who freed me in the first place hadn’t got wind of what happened and rescued me. I haven’t been back since. I suppose I hope they’re all alright and at least somewhat happy, but that’s as far as it goes. Does that answer your question?”

“You tell the truth a lot more often that I give you credit for, don’t you?”

Vala smiled sadly, and Daniel thought that some of it—too much of it his fault—was probably genuine. “My secret’s out. Took you long enough to catch on, and you’ll still be mostly wrong about which parts of my suppertime tales are true and which are . . . poetic license,” she added with a smirk. He shook his head, smiling resignedly.

“Hey, Daniel?”

“Yeah?”

“Is it weird that talking about one of the worst things that’s ever happened to me has calmed me down enough that I can imagine surviving not knowing what happens next on _Lost_ for a few weeks?”

“Definitely. But it’s far from the weirdest thing about you,” he added, getting up to leave: it was late, and they were going off world tomorrow. Vala stuck her tongue out at him.

He hesitated by the door. He thought he’d probably regret it, but: “Do you want a hug before I go?” She raised her eyebrows, and Daniel knew from her expression that her comment would be suggestive, so he quickly added, “ _Don’t_ read into it, I just know that it can’t have been easy to talk about all that, however briefly, and I’m trying to do a better job of . . . speaking your language.”

“Well, a girl has to take what she can get, “ Vala said, and set her tea down as she got up to accept the proffered hug.

Daniel didn’t think it was a conscious decision, and couldn’t for the life of him have said why he did it, but as they broke apart he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

It took Vala a moment to register that the soft brush against her cheek had been a _kiss_ from _Daniel_. Who had retreated a couple of paces and looked just as surprised, and many times more awkward, as she felt.

“Um—?”

“So,” he began at the same time and then, relieved, remembered that he hadn’t told her about his plans for evening entertainment to fill the _Lost_ void. “No _Lost_ for a few weeks, but I have some alternatives for the meantime.”

“Really? Do tell!” Vala was intrigued, if a little disappointed: she’d had a definite . . . _reaction_ to the kiss that she very much wanted to follow up, but she knew better than to take her usual approach with Daniel.

Daniel, relieved that she was so easily distracted and that he wouldn’t have to figure out what the hell had just happened and then explain it to her, cocked his head, considering. “No,” he told her smugly. “You’ll just have to wait and see,” turned, and left, ignoring her yells of plaintive outrage. Cam’s rules for off world would only shield him from her cajoling for so long, but sometimes it was worth it to be on the giving, rather than the receiving, end of a certain level of aggravation. He shook his head as he waited for the elevator to the surface: Vala was a bad influence.


	4. Suspense, Surprise, Suppression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I still need to mention that there will be pop culture references?

“Will you tell me _now_?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“The mission isn’t over yet.”

“Yes it damn well is. We came to this dull, quiet planet, had a dull, quiet—“

“Since when does me having to enforce the get-along rules about fifty times count as _quiet_?” Cam muttered to Sam. Sam suppressed an amused grin.

“—trek to the nearest town, had a thorough tour of aforementioned thoroughly unremarkable town, had a calm, rational conversation with the leaders about the Ori threat and what their options are if the Priors show up. Food was eaten, tentative pledges of friendship and knowledge-sharing were made, and now we’re on our way back to the ‘gate. How in the hell does that not qualify as ‘mission accomplished’?!”

Part of Daniel knew he was enjoying this way too much, and tried to point out to the rest of him that, if he kept it up, he was really no better than she was. The rest of him, however, was having far too much fun keeping Vala in suspense to care. “Protocol: the mission isn’t truly over until we’ve returned to Earth, been medically cleared, and made our report to Landry,” he reminded Vala, not entirely succeeding in keeping the smugness out of his voice.

“Hey, no fair using semantics against me, not with your linguistic advantage! Besides—“

“It’s not semantics, it’s Stargate Command regulations, which even _you_ —“

“OK, that’s _it_! If the two of you don’t knock it the hell off, so help me I will bench you both and bury you underneath a mountain of every single piece of tedious, boring paperwork on the base!” Cam threatened, interrupting the argument from his position in the lead. Sam, walking next to him, braced herself for the defensive tirade she knew Daniel and Vala were about to unleash, glancing at Cam to see if realized what he’d done. To her surprise, he was grinning. When he winked at her, Sam realized, and smiled back: Cam wanted them to stop yelling at each other, so he’d given them someone else to yell at, at least for a little while. She shook her head in amusement.

“Hang on just a minute—“ Vala began.

“Oh, come _on_ Mitchell—“ Daniel cut in.

That’s when they heard the unmistakable whizzing sound of energy weapon blasts. Training kicked in, and they all began to run towards the ‘gate, which fortunately was within sight.

Just as they were picking up speed, Vala cried out and stumbled against Daniel. Before he could ask if she was hit or had merely stumbled over a loose stone, she was on the move again, but slower than her usual flee-the-people-shooting-at-us pace. Daniel matched her speed as Cam dropped back to join Teal’c as rear guard while Sam sprinted ahead to dial the ‘gate.

“Are you OK?” Daniel yelled over the sound of energy weapon blasts and their teammates’ answering gunfire, reaching out to grab Vala’s arm as she stumbled again. He kept a supportive hand under her elbow, felt her lean into him just a little.

“Fine! They barely grazed me!” she yelled back through gritted teeth. Seeing Daniel open his mouth, probably to offer to carry her or some such nonsense, she cut him off: “Less talking, more running!” and, even though it hurt more than she was willing to let on, increased her speed.

Sam had already disappeared when they reached the ‘gate. They dashed through, Mitchell and Teal’c right behind them. As the iris closed, Vala sagged against Daniel. He managed to stop her from collapsing, but as he supported her he saw that what she had called being “barely grazed” had turned the right side of her right thigh into a burned and bloody mess.

Hearing Daniel’s sharp intake of breath, Vala finally glanced down at her injury. “Oh,” she said, wondering if it looked worse than it was or if, thanks to the adrenaline from running away, she just hadn’t felt the full force of the pain yet. “OK. I _may_ have been putting rather a brave face on things. Still,” she said conversationally as the med team rushed up the ramp to take charge of her, “you have to admit I’ve had worse. Oh, ow!” OK, so it had been the adrenaline. She found herself very glad to be placed on a gurney so she could be wheeled to the infirmary, and yet very much regretting being removed from Daniel’s supportive arms. Such a silly thing to think, the pain must be addling her brain . . . she lay back and tried not to think. Passing out was starting to sound very appealing.

Daniel felt dazed as he told the med team that no, he hadn’t been hurt, he was fine. Except he wasn’t fine, how could he be fine when his teammate’s leg looked like that? When _Vala_ . . . he stopped himself from pursuing that line of thinking. Fortunately, distraction came as he, Sam, Cam, and Teal’c fell in behind the gurney and made there way to the infirmary.

“—it was?” Sam was asking.

“Hard to say for sure, but they looked Lucian Alliance to me,” Cam replied.

“Indeed,” Teal’c added.

“Maybe they had a look-out in the village and a ship nearby: would’ve been easy to land a cloaked cargo ship, hide behind the trees, and wait for us to walk by. Only thing is, why didn’t they cut us off from the gate?” Cam mused.

“I was wondering the same thing. Maybe they were on the planet for something else, or got held up and didn’t get there in time to cut us off,” Sam conjectured.

“Maybe. Either way, someone’s gonna have to go back there if we get an all-clear for the area, see if we can find out more. What do you think, Jackson? Anything you can think of that would’ve brought the Lucian Alliance to that planet, besides us?”

There was a pause.

“Hey, Sunshine, you with us?” Cam asked, snapping his fingers in Daniel’s face.

“What? Oh, sorry, I guess I just . . .” he trailed off. He thought he’d been listening to the conversation, but an inexplicable sense of panic kept intruding, and he had no idea what Cam had asked him.

“Vala’s going to be fine, Daniel, you know that. She’s been through worse; we all have,” Sam said, trying to reassure him the way he had sometimes done for her when then-Colonel O’Neill had been the one injured.

They had reached the infirmary, and Vala was taken to a curtained-off area so Dr. Lam could see to her leg, while the other four went to the exam area and the nurses began the usual post-mission routine

Daniel hung around after they finished with him, waiting for Dr. Lam. Cam and Teal’c had headed straight for the showers; Sam had paused long enough to give him a questioning look, since he usually preferred to handle the stress of an injured teammate by hiding in his office and burying himself in work while someone else haunted the infirmary until there was news. Today, though, he somehow didn’t think he could bring himself to go anywhere until he had first-hand word that Vala would be fine, so he shooed Sam away with a look and a gesture.

Whatever she thought about finding Daniel, rather than Sam or Cam, waiting for news when she emerged from behind the curtains around Vala’s bed, Dr. Lam appeared as unruffled as ever. “Vala’s going to be _fine_ , Dr. Jackson,” she reassured before he could open his mouth. “Even superficial injuries from energy weapons look nasty, but then you know that. She’ll be up and around in a day or so and good as new in a couple of weeks.”

Daniel exhaled so forcefully that he wondered whether he’d been breathing properly since he saw Vala’s injury. (Dr. Lam wondered whether it was too late to get in on that betting pool.) Ridiculous. “Thanks. Can I see her, or—?”

“She’s sedated for now. I can call you when she wakes up?”

“Yeah, thanks. That would be great.”

Daniel got cleaned up, sat in on the debriefing with General Landry, which was basically a repetition of the team’s earlier conversation, then went to his office and busied himself with a particularly complex translation. He had learned a long time ago that intensive intellectual work was the best way to stave off disruptive emotional processing.

* * *

When she came to, Vala took a moment to get her bearings. She was in the infirmary, lying in bed, and not in pain: so far so good. She had lifted the covers and was contemplating her bandaged leg when Dr. Lam appeared. “So, what’s the prognosis?” Vala asked, deliberately cheerful.

“A day or two of bed rest, a week or so on crutches, another week or so taking it easy, and you’ll be back to exploring the galaxy. It isn’t as bad as it looked,” Dr. Lam added in response to Vala’s raised eyebrows.

“Excellent. I don’t suppose you could fetch me my computer, could you?” Vala asked, pointing to her gear, which was tucked neatly in the corner and contained the standard-issue laptop that she had . . . personalized. Dr. Lam pulled it out of the bag, set it on one of the rolling tables usually used for food trays, wheeled the table over, and adjusted it so it was at the appropriate height. “Thanks ever so.” It suddenly occurred to Vala that, what with dealing with her own injury, she might have missed one of her teammates being hurt as well. She glanced around quickly.

“No one else was hurt,” Dr. Lam reassured, used to this behavior from off-world team members. Vala breathed a sigh of relief, then switched gears to indignation. “Well, in that case, I’d very much like to know why none of them are anxiously hovering about, waiting for the first evidence of that full recovery you’ve promised me,” she griped.

Dr. Lam smiled. Vala was the kind of person for whom the phrase “never a dull moment” was invented. “Well, Dr. Jackson waited to make sure you would be OK, then retreated to his office. I said I’d call when you woke up. Why don’t I—“

“No, no, that won’t be necessary,” Vala interrupted. She’d just had a marvelous idea. Oh, she would teach him not to wait around for her to regain consciousness, indeed she would. . .

Dr. Lam caught the spark of mischief dancing in Vala’s eyes. “Vala, when I’m regretting this later, is it going to be the kind where I have to pretend like I’m not thoroughly entertained by the situation, or the please-Dad-don’t-fire-me kind?”

Vala blinked. Sometimes she forgot that, with the amount of time SG-1 spent in the infirmary, Dr. Lam had gotten to know each of them pretty well. “Umm . . . neither? Most definitely not the second one. Promise,” she replied, adding on her most winning smile.

Dr. Lam smiled and shook her head in fond bemusement. “I’ll hold you to that. And, before you actually _do_ anything, try to keep in mind that you’re currently under the influence of pain medication,” she warned, retreating to her office.

Vala beamed, opened the laptop, and got to work.

* * *

Daniel was jerked back to awareness of his surroundings by the blaring of the com system. It took him a moment to realize that, not only was the voice on the com none of the usual people, Walter or General Landry or even Sam, but that it was _singing_.        

“ _I am slowly going wonko_  
1-2-3-4-5-6 switch  
Wonko going slowly am I  
6-5-4-3-2-1 HEY! Give that—!”

Daniel made a mental note to strangle Jack (who _else_ would have taught her that song?), but also couldn’t quite contain a brief, amused smile as he grabbed the bag in which he’d stashed the new entertainment options and headed for the infirmary.

When he arrived, Vala was sulking under the watchful eye of a nurse, and Dr. Lam was on the phone, Vala’s laptop under her arm, reassuring General Landry that it wouldn’t happen again. Daniel had composed himself before leaving his office, but he suspected Dr. Lam was facing the wall in an effort to hide her amusement.

“Daniel, darling!” Vala enthused when she caught sight of him, sulkiness abandoned, at least for the moment. “You won’t _believe_ the fuss everyone is making over a harmless little joke. I mean, honestly—“

“Vala,” he interrupted, finding it easier to be serious as he realized what she had done, “did you hack the base com system with your laptop while high on pain meds?!”

“I may have done, yes. Just proves how brilliant I am, if you think about it. Also it serves you right for not being here when I woke up.”

That pulled him up short. Even though he knew she was, as always, trying to steer the conversation away from her own misbehavior, and even though he knew that she knew that they didn’t generally hang around the infirmary once a teammate’s injuries had been declared relatively minor. God, he was out of whack today: something to avoid thinking about later. He shook himself mentally.

“Funny, I seem to remember asking to be told once you woke up, and in the mean time I thought I would, oh I don’t know, _get some work done_. Now, how do _you_ think it came about that I was left blissfully unaware of your return to consciousness while you compromised base security?” Daniel challenged.

“Well, like you said, you were getting work done, “ Vala replied, changing tack. “So I thought I’d have a bit of fun, keep myself occupied, let you have more time for whatever _very important_ work you were doing, and give everyone a laugh all at once. And accessing the com system does _not_ count as compromising base security: at most it was . . . poking it with a stick. Do give me some credit: no one’s going to be able to follow my trail, even if it _was_ possible to do something dastardly with the com system, which it _isn’t_. Well, nothing more dastardly than playing bad music on a loop, anyway.”

“Fortunately for you, General Landry more or less agrees,” Dr. Lam interjected. “But your laptop is going straight to Colonel Carter so she can erase whatever protocols you put in place that made it possible for you to do that, and make sure you can’t use them again. In the mean time, I suppose Dr. Jackson is as likely to keep you out of trouble as anyone,” and with that she and the nurse turned and left, the nurse going about his duties, Dr. Lam to personally ensure the laptop’s safe delivery.

Vala was pouting again. She wasn’t too upset about the laptop overhaul, since Sam would be the one doing it: she trusted Sam to follow her orders to the letter and, in honor of their trust, friendship, and shared(ish) sense of playfulness, leave certain other non-standard features in place. Oh, she might lecture a bit, but that would be the end of it. No, Vala was pouting because they’d taken her source of entertainment, and the one in its place could walk out of his own volition.

Daniel raised his eyebrows questioningly at Vala’s expression. She sighed heavily and flopped back onto the pillows. “Well, how am I supposed to amuse myself _now_?” The question came out more challenging than petulant. Daniel rolled his eyes, but he also pulled up a chair and set the bag he’d brought from his office in his lap. Vala eyed it curiously.

“You mean you spent all day bugging me about this, and that’s all the enthusiasm I get?” Daniel teased.

“What?” Then it clicked: “Oh! You mean the alternatives to _Lost_ you so cruelly mentioned and then refused to go into specifics about despite the absolute _agony_ the suspense put me in? _Do_ tell!” She tried to bounce up and down, forgetful of her injury, and immediately regretted it.

“Whoa, easy,” Daniel said, instinctively reaching out as she winced, closing her eyes and inhaling sharply.

“No, no, I’m fine. Or I will be when you finally tell me what you’ve got there,” Vala reassured him, opening her eyes and smiling.

“Right,” he said, businesslike, though he wasn’t entirely convinced and found himself suddenly fighting down panic at the thought of what could have happened if whoever shot at them had hit her more directly. He told himself to get a grip, that he _knew_ he couldn’t think that way about this stuff, no matter what happened it could almost always be worse. With that cheery thought, he finished fishing season 1 of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ out of his bag, handed it to Vala, and went to find an outlet for his laptop cord.

“That’s option one. I’ve never seen it, but it comes Cassie-recommended,” he informed her, sitting down again. Vala and Cassie got along well, having bonded over the shared experience of being humans not native to Earth.

“Looks promising. What’s option two?”

“The audio book of the first _Harry Potter_.”

“That’s that kids’ series about the boy wizard, right?”

“Right. And the audio format means you don’t have to read, you just lie back and listen. Also Cassie’s been bugging me to read the series for _years_.”

Vala cocked her head, considering. Then she had an idea, and grinned. “Tell you what: I know you prefer books, so we can do option two, on one condition: I get to use my favorite pillow while we listen.”

Favorite—? Oh, of course. Daniel was suddenly so busy suppressing his internal reaction that it was a miracle he managed the appropriate outward one: while far too much of his brain was enthusiastically assenting to Vala’s offer, apparently because it couldn’t feel sure she was really all right until he _held_ her, and the rest of his brain was doing its best to derail that particular train of thought, he managed to roll his eyes and tell Vala, “OK, but only because you’re injured.”

Delighted, Vala, carefully scooted herself over far enough to make room for Daniel on the bed, suppressing her astonishment that he had given in so easily, curious about the fact that his curmudgeonly reaction had sounded even more forced than his usual protests against being a human pillow.

Daniel grabbed a pillow from an unoccupied bed to put behind his back and sat down next to Vala, stretching his legs out on top of the blankets. He returned the _Buffy_ DVDs to his bag and retrieved his personal laptop, two pairs of headphones, and a headphone splitter. Once he had everything plugged in, he handed Vala headphones and opened the laptop, on which the audio book was already cued up.

Vala, hoping Daniel would chalk the maneuver up to the influence of the pain medication, butted Daniel’s arm with her head, catlike, until he, bemused, lifted it up and draped it around her shoulders, hand hanging down to rest lightly on her waist, allowing her to nestle into his side.

As Daniel hit play, neither of them were willing to acknowledge, to themselves or each other, that it was only now, snuggled together, that they were able to fully relax after the day’s near miss. As a British voice began to read the iconic words, they sighed deeply, almost in unison.

“ _Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive_ . . .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel I should apologize if any of the medical or computer stuff in this chapter is just ridiculously wrong: I did my best, but neither is anywhere near my area of expertise. Fortunately, I don’t think any of you are here for the technical stuff.  
> The song Vala sings is, of course, her own version of "I am slowly going crazy." You know, the one you sing at camp or wherever, forwards then backwards, faster and faster each time until you're singing nonsense. That one.


	5. Visions and Vexations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daniel's vision is the one from "Ark of Truth," which we'll be getting to . . . soon. Ish.

The vision came out of nowhere.

Daniel was sitting in his office, working. He only looked up from the translation for a moment, and _wham_! Stone chest with Ancient writing on the lid, opening, light pouring out, Merlin standing bathed in the light, hands raised, Merlin and the chest among ruins, the ruins at the base of an exploding mountain. End scene.

Shaken, Daniel glanced at the clock, which was why he had looked up in the first place. Less than a minute had passed: he hadn’t fallen asleep. Quickly, before the memory faded, he scribbled down what he could recall of the writing on the stone chest’s lid. Better safe than sorry.

But what to do now? The way he saw it, there were two possibilities: either what he’d seen was a remnant from when he’d shared his mind with Merlin that had, for reasons unknown, chosen now to drift from his subconscious to his conscious mind, or else Adria was planting things in his brain, trying to use him the way she had used Vala. On reflection, he supposed it could even be a combination of the two.

What to do, though? He thought that having the vision while awake might be a good sign, but he had to admit that could be wishful thinking. He wanted to translate the writing, see if he could figure out what the stone chest was, but if there was even a chance Adria was alive and accessing his mind, he couldn’t risk it.

Vala chose just that moment to bounce into his office. Having just been given a clean bill of health by Dr. Lam, she was reminding everyone that she was well again by moving from here to there as vigorously as possible.

“Whatever you’re doing, it’s time to take a break: the mess has those cookies you like and—“ she noticed the look on his face. “Daniel? Are you OK?”

“Yes, of c—“ he paused mid-fib. Inconceivable as he once would have thought it, Vala just might be the best confidant in these circumstances. He thought about the way she’d handled the situation when he was a Prior, and made up his mind.

“Actually, maybe not so much. I, uh, I kinda just had a vision.”

Vala was briefly overwhelmed by a combination of panic and protective instinct, fueled by memories of Daniel collapsed on the floor of Merlin’s lab, of sitting in a meeting where the little weasel man reluctantly announced the IOA’s determination to end Daniel’s life.

Fortunately, years of practice made it easy to keep her expression free of her train of thought, and, continuing a habit she had very deliberately cultivated during her two weeks of convalescence, she leaned against Daniel’s shoulder while reaching for a chair, which she deposited inches from Daniel’s. She sat down, flung her legs across his lap, propped her elbow on her shoulder, and leaned her chin against her hand. “Well. Best tell me all about it then.”

Daniel briefly considered shoving her legs off his lap: she no longer had a medical excuse for using him as a leg rest, instead of another chair. But he had gotten used to this, too (grown to like this, too, a treacherous part of his mind whispered), and figuring out what had happened and what to do about it was more important than a pointless argument with Vala about acceptable places to prop herself up.

He described what had happened and what he’d seen. “I know it could be Adria, but it could also be Merlin, or both, or maybe even something from when I was ascended. I don’t want to put us at risk or help Adria, but I don’t want to miss out on something that could help, because God knows we need it. What do you think? Does it sound enough like the dream Adria sent you that we should be worried?”

“Oh, I don’t know, there are definitely differences, which I’d like to think is encouraging, except it’s like you said there’s still a chance. It’s just . . . I’d _really_ like to keep the IOA out of it, you know?” She didn’t meet Daniel’s eyes, resisted the urge to lean her forehead against his, as she added softly, “What if they decide to hurt you and we can’t stop them this time?”

Oh. He hadn’t even considered that. He didn’t think it was a real possibility, but Vala looked like she needed reassuring. He reached out and gently tilted her face up to meet his eyes again.

“One: since I don’t have superpowers this time, the most they could justify is locking me up. Two: with you and the others looking out for me, I’m not even worried about that.”

Vala was trying to re-orient herself, to continue to track with the conversation without giving away the fact that, when Daniel touched her face, her entire world had briefly narrowed to that one point of contact, and far too much of her brain was insisting on _more_.

With much more effort than she liked, she shoved the distracting and unhelpful fantasies to the back of her mind for later perusal. Right now she needed to focus.

“That sounds like we agree that an officially unofficial team meeting is in order?”

“For once, we agree without anything remotely resembling a shouting match.”

“Well, don’t jinx it. You round everyone up, I’ll go get the cookies.”

She swung her legs off his lap and bounced out of the office as Daniel, trying to ignore the strange bereft feeling the loss of contact gave him, reached for his phone.

* * *

There was silence after Daniel and Vala finished explaining what had happened, what they saw as the possibilities, and the pros and cons of various courses of action.

“Wow,” Sam finally said. She looked hard at Daniel. “You want to translate the writing and figure out what you saw despite the risks, don’t you?”

“Well, yes, but there are legitimate security concerns, and much as I hate it, sometimes we really do have to let sleeping dogs lie.” Vala whacked him lightly on the arm with the back of her hand. “To leave well alone,” he amended, smiling wryly, glad to note that he had temporarily eased the lines of worry on her face. He was avoiding examining how big of a factor her concern for his personal safety was in his hesitation to push forward.

“True, but we take these kinds of calculated risks all the time,” Sam pointed out. Vala shot her a look, and Sam saw something like betrayal in her eyes. Sam sighed inwardly. One of these days she was going to give into the temptation to lock Daniel and Vala in a room and not let them out until they were completely emotionally honest with each other. “And whatever Daniel saw, it’s obviously powerful, exactly the kind of thing worth a long shot.”

“Not to mention that if Adria’s alive and after it, we want to keep it away from her, and the best way to do that is to get there first,” Cam chimed in. “Assuming Jackson can figure out what ‘it’ is and where ‘there’ is, of course.”

“Dakarra,” Teal’c spoke up. They all looked at him quizzically. “I believe the exploding mountain in Daniel Jackson’s vision may have been Dakarra, which would indicate that what we seek is there.”

“Oh, well done, Muscles. If Adria’s hacking Daniel’s brain, I’m sure she thinks so, too,” Vala snapped.

“Hey,” Daniel said, laying a hand on her shoulder, “go easy. Even _if_ Adria’s alive, I don’t think the connection is anywhere near that direct, _if_ there’s a connection at all. Teal’c’s probably right, which means we need to get permission from the Free Jaffa Nation to search _and_ get a ship there to do recon and hopefully unbury the ‘gate. With any luck, by the time all that’s been done, I’ll have figured out what we’re actually looking for. Because Sam and Cam are right: this is a risk we have to take.”

Vala nodded, hyper-aware of the hand on her shoulder, relieved yet frustrated when he slid it off. And it was definitely as _slide_ , fingers lingering just a little . . . no, she was being ridiculous. This was _Daniel_. It was so damn _typical_ that her libido would decide that what it wanted most just now was a man who had proved immune to her usual seduction techniques. A man for whom she was in danger of developing the kinds of feelings that would take casual sex off the table, the kinds of feelings she couldn’t let herself have for anyone, sexual partner or not.

“Well, it sounds like that settles it,” said Cam. “Let’s go talk to Landry.”

* * *

General Landry agreed with their assessment of the situation. “Of course, I’ll have to inform the IOA, and it might be easier to curb any excessive enthusiasm on their part if Dr. Jackson were a little less accessible. Do you understand what I’m saying?” he asked pointedly.

Daniel blinked. “Wha—oh. Yes sir. I was just going to mention that there’s a good chance the information we need will be in Merlin’s library, and to save time, what with the urgency of the mission, I should go straight there with Mitchell while Vala and Sam stay here and work through the on-base resources.” Vala opened her mouth to protest, but Daniel caught her eye and shot her a warning glance, so she contented herself with folded arms and a huff of frustration.

“Excellent. You have a go. When will you be ready to leave?”

“Within the hour, sir,” Mitchell assured.

“Even better. Dismissed.”

As soon as they were out of earshot of the general, Vala started in. “So, what, I’m just supposed to stay here, pretend to play ‘find the magic box’ in your office while you go off with Mitchell and—“

“Vala!” Daniel interrupted. “You won’t be playing ‘pretend’ anything. What we’re looking for could just as easily be in one of the files in my office, and since you read Ancient at least passably and know your way around my organizational systems, it makes sense for you to be the one to search there. OK?”

“Oh. Well. I supposed, if you put it like that, it is the rather more logical option.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. That was when they both realized they were alone in the corridor, and there was a shift in the energy between them. Vala was trying to remember why she shouldn’t shove him against the wall and kiss him. Daniel didn’t know what he felt, but he recognized the gleam in her eyes, and that was _not_ a complication he could deal with right now. He quickly broke the tension, avoiding examining his lack of abhorrence towards the idea of physical intimacy with Vala. “So, my office? I need to pack and get you all set up.” And he started down the corridor, quicker than necessary.

“Right,” Vala said, skipping forward to catch up. Maybe it was good that he was leaving for a few days: it would give her a chance to clear her head.

* * *

After two days, Vala’s head was anything but clear.

There was the central lump of unsatisfied lust that she simply couldn’t ignore anymore. Then there were other things that had gotten snarled up in it, things that had nothing to do with sex, not for her, things like trust and friendship and the way Daniel rolled his eyes when he was pretending to be more annoyed than he was and how his voice got soft when he was being gentle and loud when he was passionate (she very much wanted to find out if that held true during sex), and she couldn’t _concentrate_ , not in this office that was _his_ , doing work that was _his_.

What she needed was to untangle it all, to deal with it one thread at a time. She knew which thread would be the easiest to separate and deal with, but, naturally, how to do that was in itself a problem, because that was just her life these days.

“Sam,” she said, getting the other woman’s attention. Sam looked up from the computer and raised her eyebrows in query.

“Fancy taking a break and helping me with a personal problem?”

“Absolutely,” Sam said, smiling tiredly.

“Excellent. I need your advice on how to get Daniel to have sex with me.”

Sam blinked. “Wow. Um, Vala, given that I’m good friends with BOTH of you, I’m not really sure this is a conversation we should be having, and I’m very sure it isn’t a conversation I want to have. At all. Sorry.”

“OK, I respect that, but I am _desperate_ here. I’ve _tried_ my usual methods on Daniel, ages ago, and they didn’t _work_ , and the stupid man has got my thoughts and my hormones and my—“

“I get the picture. Please stop,” Sam interjected. Vala complied, but she also gave Sam an exceptionally pleading, pathetic look. Sam sighed. “All I can tell you is that you should talk to him. Honestly. Maybe a little less bluntly than what you just told me, but definitely honestly.”

“ _Talk_ to him?” That wasn’t really Vala’s style when it came to sex. Not the kind of talking that happened with Daniel, anyway.

“Talk to him.”

“Honestly but not bluntly.” That was even less her style.

“If possible.” Sam doubted it was, but maybe the suggestion would at least get Vala to consider what she said before she said it.

“So, for example, I might say—“

Oh, _god_. “No.”

“What do you mean, ‘no’.”

“I mean, no, I am not rehearsing this conversation with you. In no way do I want to know the specific contents of this conversation, either before or after the fact. You’re one of my best friends, Daniel’s like a brother, and I want you two to be happy, but if that in any way involves sex, or discussing sex, _please spare me the details_.”

“You know, I don’t think I will _ever_ understand your culture’s standards of sexual conversation and behavior,” Vala huffed.

Sam smiled ruefully. “You might have a point there, but we’re still not having this conversation. I . . . appreciate that you came to me for advice, I really do, but I think there are some things about whatever it is that you and Daniel have going on that should stay between the two of you. Fair enough?”

“Fair enough, I suppose,” Vala acquiesced. “Can we perhaps instead discuss your unfortunate penchant for giving what is probably very sound advice that, thanks to years of habit to the contrary, happens to be very difficult for me to follow?”

Sam grinned. “Absolutely. With coffee and blue Jell-o in the mess?”

Vala grinned in turn and nodded. “You know you have a problem, right?” she teased as they both got up.

“Says the woman who has at least five hidden candy stashes in Daniel’s office.”

“That’s _different_.”

* * *

He didn’t miss her. He didn’t. That would be ridiculous.

He didn’t miss the way she’d used her injury as an excuse to drape herself all over him during work hours, leaning on his shoulder or back or side, propping her leg up on his lap, generally being an even greater nuisance than usual.

He didn’t miss discussing the feminist texts she had added to her repertoire of fashion magazines and romance novels following their conversation three weeks ago. He didn’t miss listening to _Harry Potter_ in the evenings, or the way—again because of her injury—there wasn’t any word but “cuddling” for the way they arranged themselves on her couch when they did so.

He didn’t miss what would no doubt be altogether too much inane chatter, distracting him from the work at hand, if she was here. Never mind that a little distraction had often been instrumental in some of his most important discoveries.

He maybe, _maybe_ missed her sharp eyes and the way she sometimes noticed things that he didn’t when on searches like these, simply by virtue of their different lenses and methodologies. That was a perfectly acceptable thing to miss, given the importance of the task.

“How’s it coming, Sunshine?” Mitchell asked as he wandered back into the room where Daniel was working.

Daniel waved his hand in a vague, noncommittal gesture.

“Right. Anything I can do to help?”

“Unless you’ve learned Ancient since the last time you asked, still no.”

“All right, all right, I get the message.”

“Do you? Because if you hold to pattern you’ll ask me that again in about half an hour.”

“Right. Sorry. I guess I just thought, since the whole quiet, uninterrupted work thing hasn’t seemed to be doin’ it for you the last few days, that I’d supply the constant and not entirely professional interruptions to which you’ve grown accustomed.”

Daniel looked up. “Excuse me?”

“You know. Whatever the thing is that you and Vala have going. She annoys the crap out of you, you snark at her at a level just shy of butt-ugly, you somehow both get all your work done and still have time for whatever it is you do in the evenings. Vala gets more flirty and impatient and you get extra grumpy if the other one isn’t around.”

“Do not.”

“The level of denial you’ve got goin’ on right now is damned impressive, you know that?”

“For your information, _if_ I’m grumpy, it’s because what I’m doing is _urgent,_ and it’s _taking a while_. It has _nothing_ to do with Vala. If anything, I’d probably be in a _worse_ mood if she was here.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Sunshine.”

“I miss Jack.” Daniel knew that was harsh and probably uncalled-for, but he was so _tired_ of the constant teasing about his . . . _whatever_ -the-hell-it-was, but definitely not romantic, that was for sure, with Vala.

Cam decided to ignore the jab. “Right, ‘cause he wouldn’t give you a hard time about this _at all_.”

“Go away.”

“OK, OK, I’m goin’.”

As Mitchell walked back out of the room, Daniel reflected on the phenomena of might-as-well-be brothers, and how the younger ones could, apparently, be just as bad as the older ones.

Also, he didn’t miss her. He didn’t.

* * *

It took Daniel five days to find what he was looking for, carefully photograph all the relevant text and diagrams, as well as surrounding and probably not-so-relevant bits just to be safe, and return to the base. He also had the vision twice more. During that time, the Free Jaffa Nation had given permission for the SGC to use their resources to unbury the ‘gate on Dakarra and, providing Teal’c kept them apprised of all relevant intel, perform whatever searches they deemed necessary. The _Odyssey_ had been dispatched, done a sweep and found no signs of life, and sent down a team to work on clearing the area where the ‘gate had stood and, hopefully, unbury it and the DHD intact. At the High Council’s insistence, Teal’c was present to supervise.

Daniel, in an attempt to prove a point to Mitchell, had been ignoring Vala as much as he could get away with while they worked on the translation of the texts he’d found.

Vala, in an attempt to get what she wanted without following Sam’s advice, had been making doing so exceptionally difficult.

Neither of them was in anything like a good mood, and everyone on the base was avoiding the corridor that housed Daniel’s office.

Before the seemingly inevitable explosion, however, they finished the translation. As Daniel quickly realized, this presented its own new set of stresses.

“It translates as, more or less, the Ark of Truth,” Daniel told Landry and the rest of the team, minus Teal’c, in the briefing room. “From what I can gather, it has the power to make people believe whatever it’s programmed to show as the truth. Now, there are obviously some serious moral objections to be made against us using it, but this is not something we want the Ori or their followers to have. And, honestly, as much as I hate it, we might not have a _choice_ about using it. But first we have to find it, and between my vision and the fact that there was a lot of Ancient tech there, Dakarra makes the most sense.”

“If we find it, will you and Carter be able to make it work?” Landry asked.

“I don’t know. Like I said, I don’t even know whether we _should_ —“

“Dr. Jackson—“

“I know, I _know_. Can we just . . . cross that bridge when we come to it? Especially since, like with all Ancient tech, there’s no way to predict exactly what we’ll be able to get it to do or whether what we get it to do is actually what it was meant to do?”

“Fair enough. Good work, people. You’re all on standby: as soon as we get word from Dakarra that everything’s good to go, I’m sending you through. In the mean time, get some rest, and by that I mean _you_ , Jackson. Go home.”

“But you just said—“

“I don’t think the half hour it takes you to drive to the base from your apartment is likely to jeopardize this mission, do you?”

“I suppose not.”

“Good. Get whatever gear you can prepped, and go home. I don’t want to see you back here until you get the call, understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Dismissed.”

Daniel ignored Vala’s attempt to catch his eye as he went back to his office to pack what he’d need for excavating Dakarra’s ruins in search of the Ark. But of course she followed him anyway. So did Mitchell and Sam, no doubt to make sure he did as he was told. Possibly to watch him and Vala and throw any gestures of friendship in his face as proof of something else later. Sometimes he hated the lot of them.

“So,” Vala began, as though the others weren’t there. “Want company? We’re overdue for another chapter of _Harry Potter_ , you know.”

He wanted to. He really did. He was so _tired_ , and he’d gotten used to unwinding with Vala in the evenings, and Cassie had been right, the books were good. But the others were _right there_ , and he was still trying to prove a point to Mitchell about what the weirdness with Vala _wasn’t_ , and she’d been different since he got back, more insistent, more in his mental instead of just his physical space, and he didn’t know what it meant but he didn’t want to deal with it right now.

“Not right now, sorry. Rain check on the _Harry Potter_ , OK?” he said, using the excuse of shoving things into a bag to not look at her.

“Sure. Yes. I mean, whatever you need. We wouldn’t want you at anything less than your best when we’re cleared to go, would we?” she said in the too-bright voice he recognized as the one she used when she was pretending not to be hurt.

“Thanks,” he said, trying to invest the word with . . . god, he didn’t even know what. He looked up from his packing, but she was already halfway out the door. Sam shot him a reproachful look and followed. Of all the people to judge him for this . . .

“Sunshine—“ Cam began.

“Don’t,” Daniel interrupted. “Just. Don’t.”

“Right.” Daniel heard him leave, too.

He finished packing, grabbed the bag with his laptop to take home with him, and left the office. In the elevator, he hesitated just before pushing the button for the surface, Vala’s pretending-not-to-be-hurt tone and retreating back nagging at his memory. He rested his head on the cool elevator wall, torn between impulses he didn’t want to name.

“Dammit,” he muttered, and punched the button for the level containing Vala’s quarters.


	6. Semantics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first half of this chapter was beta'd by the lovely [chocolatequeen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocolatequeen/pseuds/Chocolatequeen).

“And here I thought you didn’t want company,” Vala said as she stood back from her door so Daniel could come in, unsure whether or not she was surprised to find him there. “You want tea? I just put water on.”

“Uh, sure,” Daniel said, slowly lowering his laptop bag to the floor. Vala almost laughed at his expression, but thought better of it just in time: it would have been his diplomatic face if he hadn’t looked so exhausted and wrong-footed.

“Vala, listen, I didn’t mean to . . . it’s not that I didn’t want . . . I mean, you know I like spending time . . . it’s just, the others—“

“Oh, shut up before you hurt yourself,” Vala told him, flashing an amused smile.

“You’re not upset?”

“Well, I suppose I was a bit, but then I remembered how utterly thoughtless you get when you overtax yourself, and I got over it.”

“I guess I deserved that,” he said ruefully.

“That and more, but like I said, I’m over it. Now sit down and tell me what you meant about the others.”

He complied, collapsing onto her couch while she grabbed mugs and teabags. “Well, I said ‘the others,’ but mostly it’s been Mitchell. And a lot of it’s your fault, you know,” he informed her, shooting an accusatory glare over the back of the couch.

“Darling, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” she told him airily as the bubbling hot pot clicked off.

Daniel snorted. “Right. You have no idea what it looks like when you drape yourself all over me and flirt constantly and refer to perfectly platonic dinner outings as dates and call me things like ‘darling’,” he challenged.

“Oh, _that_ ,” she said, leaning against the counter while she waited for the tea to finish steeping. “So, Mitchell’s been, what, exactly?” She hoped it was something she could use to her advantage, but she doubted it: Daniel was clearly flustered, but not the kind of flustered she wanted him to be.

“He’s been insinuating that, that we . . . that there might be . . . “ Daniel was making little circular gestures with his hands, the way he did when he was searching for the right English word or phrase to explain a concept from another language or culture, “feelings of a romantic nature between us. Which is _ridiculous_ ,” he concluded, dropping his hands emphatically into his lap.

“Well, _obviously_ ,” Vala assured him, disposing of the tea bags and carrying the mugs over to her coffee table. She wasn’t sure what to make of the relief on Daniel’s face as he grabbed two coasters from the pile on the corner and set them out for her. Something unpleasant was nagging at her from inside the snarl of feelings, desires, and impulses that related to Daniel and how she interacted with him. She chose not to untangle it for further examination.

Setting the mugs of tea down, Vala arched an eyebrow, waiting.

“What?” Daniel said.

“If there’s one thing I never half-ass when I can avoid it, it’s comfort.”

“Your point?”

“The way you’re currently sitting is unacceptable.”

“Seriously?”

She folded her arms across her chest.

“Vala, it was one thing when you were injured and needed to have your leg propped up—“

“My recovery doesn’t stop it from being the most comfortable seating arrangement. Besides, you were awful earlier, so this is how you make it up to me.”

“I thought you weren’t upset.”

“I said I got over being upset. I’m about to un-get over it.”

Daniel leaned his head back and closed his eyes, a martyred expression on his face. “Fine,” he acquiesced, kicking off his shoes, scooting to the corner of the couch and turning so he could lean against the arm rest and put his left leg up. Vala smirked in satisfaction and sat down in front of him, stretching both legs along the couch and leaning back against Daniel’s chest. She sighed contentedly.

“There. Not such a terrible hardship now, is it?”

“Shut up and play the book.”

“All right, all right, no need to bite my head off.” He snorted, and she could practically _hear_ him rolling his eyes. Still, a victory was a victory. She hit the play button on the remote control to her sound system and picked her mug of tea up from the coffee table as Daniel reached out to do the same.

By the end of the chapter, they had finished their tea. Daniel had one arm stretched out along the back of the couch, his other hand resting on his right thigh. Vala shivered deliberately.

“Cold?” Daniel mumbled. She thought he sounded sleepy. She felt him shift under her, looking around for a blanket.

“I’ve got a better idea,” she said, grabbing his arms and pulling them over her shoulders so they wrapped around her torso.

“You’re unbelievable,” he said, but neither moved nor protested further. Vala suspected he would later blame it on sleep deprivation and general tiredness, but she was counting it as a victory.

Much as she tried to pay attention to the story, Vala felt her own exhaustion creeping up on her. Between the tea and her carefully engineered position on the couch, she was warm and comfortable and more relaxed than she’d felt in ages. Her last coherent thought as she drifted off was that Daniel could fill her in on what she missed later.

Daniel listened to her breathing even out into the rhythm of sleep and shook his head, both in exasperation and in an attempt to keep himself from following suit. God, he was tired. And Vala had seriously good taste in couches. But falling asleep like this, _with her_ , was high up on his list of bad ideas. _Why bad_? the part of his brain that was getting harder and harder to shut up wanted to know. Because Vala might . . . Because he wasn’t even supposed to be here right now. What if they checked the logs and saw that he hadn’t left the base yet? They would look in his office, the gym, Sam’s lab, and eventually, here. How would he ever shut them up if . . . if . . . he was too far gone for coherent thought.

He slipped into unconsciousness as he tried to remember why he shouldn’t.

* * *

Daniel jerked awake, disoriented. Vala mumbled in protest at the sudden movement but didn’t come all the way awake herself. He blinked, reaching up to adjust his glasses, which had fallen askew while he slept. Slept . . . on Vala’s couch. With Vala snuggled against his chest, also asleep. With his arms around her. _Shit_.

He unceremoniously shoved her forward and off of him so he could stand up. A wave of dizziness washed over him. Vala, miraculously enough, was still asleep. He didn’t know how she flipped whatever switch it was in her brain, because when they were on missions he’d seen her come awake and alert at the slightest provocation.

He looked at his watch: it was mid-afternoon, so only a couple of hours had passed. He balanced on the edge of the couch so he could put his shoes on and, reminded by a faint buzzing noise, turned off the idling sound system. He wondered if he should wake Vala. On the one hand, too long of a nap would probably mess up her sleep schedule. On the other hand, they were going off-world soon, which always messed up everyone’s sleep schedule.

He didn’t want to talk about what had happened. Nothing _had_ happened, so there was nothing to talk about. But if he didn’t make that clear now, Vala might say something later, in front of other people. She might do that anyway. She might make a big deal out of him trying to explain that this was not a big deal and therefore not worth mentioning to anyone. When had his life gotten so complicated? No, scratch that: when had his _personal_ life gotten so complicated? When had he acquired a personal life?

Vala interrupted his muddled train of thought by waking up on her own.

“Morning,” she mumbled blearily, sitting up and turning to face him.

“Afternoon, actually,” he informed her from his perch as he finished lacing up his shoes.

“Still the same afternoon, I hope.” Vala absently raked her fingers through her hair, torn between getting the rest of the way up and laying back down.

“No, actually, we slept for a hundred years.”

She stopped finger-combing and narrowed her eyes at him.

“Kidding.”

“I thought so, but considering nonsense like that is not outside the realm of possibility in our line of work, maybe you shouldn’t.”

Daniel grimaced in acknowledgment. “You’re grumpy when you first wake up in not-potentially-life-threatening contexts,” he observed.

“No, I’m grumpy when I wake up because my blanket and pillow were taken away without my say-so. Which makes this a very potentially-life-threatening-context. For you.” Daniel seemed more on edge than the circumstances called for, and she hoped that threatening him, which she frequently did anyway, would put him at ease. It was also very satisfying.

“One, you haven’t disproved my point. Two, good to know where your priorities are.”

“Oh, don’t act like it’s news to you that I only want you for your body.” Whoops. So much for putting him at ease—he _hated_ it when she said things like that. She was clearly sleep-addled.

_For the love of—_ “Leaving now.”

“M’kay.” She flopped back onto the couch, trying to get comfortable: if her brain wasn’t going to be awake, no point in trying to force her body to be. Daniel, sighing, went and got a blanket and pillow from a closet and dumped them unceremoniously on top of her.

“Hey!”

“You’re welcome. Though on the off chance that we don’t head out for a few more days, you might want to consider getting up.”

“Why don’t you come back here and make me?” she challenged half-heartedly.

“Ooh, tempting, but I was supposed to be home two hours ago, remember?”

“Have it your way.”

He hesitated by the door, wanting to say something, not wanting to be the one to bring it up.

“Are you always like this in morning-after situations?”

“Like—? No, you know what? Never mind. Because that is not now, nor will it ever be, any of your business. And anyway, this isn’t . . . _that_.” She didn’t have to know that, in the few first-morning-afters he’d experienced, yes, this was what he was like. But it still was _not at all the same thing_.

“Defensive much?”

“ _Vala_.” He ignored the part of his brain that was echoing her question, and the assumption behind it.

“I mean, we did just sleep together in a very literal way.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

The fact that he’d said that his behavior in a morning-after situation would never be any of her business suddenly registered, and she decided to change tactics. “I won’t tell Mitchell, if that’s what’s worrying you.”

Sometimes _whiplash_ didn’t even begin to cover it with her. “As a matter of fact, it was, so thank you. Assuming you keep your word, that is.”

“You wound me.”

“You’ll get over it.”

“Not if you stay here and talk me to death I won’t.

“That’s my cue to leave, isn’t it?”

“I don’t care what you do, as long as it no longer involves hovering awkwardly by my door like a teenager in those movies Mitchell pretends not to like.”

“Right. Definitely going now.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

As Daniel made his less than graceful exit, it suddenly occurred to him that what was possibly the strangest role reversal of his life had taken place. If Vala ever told the others about this he would kill her. Assuming he didn’t die of embarrassment first.

_How the hell had this become his life?_

* * *

It was 10:30 at night. Vala wanted to call Daniel. No, she didn’t. Yes, she did. Well, no, she really didn’t, but it was probably a necessary step on the way to what she wanted to do. Except she didn’t want to do that either, but it was also necessary.

Asinine, complicated, apparently-only-think-with-their-head-brain _archeologists_.

But how bad could it be, really?

Probably better not to answer that.

(Very, very bad. Loss-of-snuggle-privileges bad. Life was not fair.)

Strategy. She needed a strategy. After Daniel left that afternoon, she’d realized she was too awake to justify going back to sleep, especially since he was perfectly right about the potential for her sleep schedule getting even more messed up than it already was. And then she’d realized that all she could think about was how much she’d gotten away with, the way she’d gotten him to hold her, and how much more she wanted.

This persistent line of thought had brought her up against the impasse between Sam’s advice and strategies with which she was comfortable. Between what she wanted and what it would take to get it. Between what she was comfortable wanting and . . . no. One thread at a time.

She was going to have to call him. Because she’d never be able to sleep like this, and she owed it to the entire team to be at her best.

This was not a conversation they should have over the phone.

So, call and invite him over? No, he wasn’t supposed to be on base. Get herself invited to his place, then. That would probably be better, give him the advantage of being in his space rather than hers.

(Give him the ability to kick her out. No, don’t think about that.)

Honest without being too blunt. She could do this. She could. It was just _talking_. They talked all the time.

(Not about something she very badly wanted that she was genuinely unsure he would let her have.)

She dialed Daniel’s number before she could give herself any more reasons why a restless, mostly sleepless night might be preferable.

He picked up after the second ring. “Hey.” He sounded neutral, but not in a deliberate way. No irritation, no concern. Just a greeting. That was good, right?

“Hi.”

She maybe should have scripted this in her head a little more thoroughly.

“Is . . . everything OK? Oh, god, we’re not getting called in, are we?”

She had to laugh at how aghast he sounded at the prospect. “No, no, it’s nothing like that. I just . . . I’d like to talk to you about something. But it’s more of an in-person conversation, you know?”

“And it can’t wait until tomorrow?” He didn’t sound nearly as skeptical as she was afraid he would.

“Not if I’m going to get any sleep tonight.”

There was a brief silence.

“Better come on over, then. You are good to drive, right?” She thought he sounded almost resigned, maybe a little concerned. No detectable irritation. She didn’t know if that was good or bad for what she had in mind.

“Yes, of course. Listen, I really appreciate this—“

“Don’t worry about it. Sleep is important, especially now. See you soon?”

“Yes.”

“Bye then.”

The line went dead.

Right. She grabbed her purse and her keys and headed out the door. She could do this. She could.

* * *

By the time she got to Daniel’s door, Vala had decided that the best way was to start right in. Just ask the question straight out. So when he answered the door, that’s what she did as she breezed through it and into the apartment, depositing her purse on the floor as she went: “What I want to know is, what exactly would have to happen for you to be willing to have sex with me?”

Daniel took a deep, steadying breath as he closed the door, reflecting that, all things considered, it was a miracle it had taken her this long to make another bold-faced seduction attempt. He wasn’t even surprised, really. Irritated, sure, but only surprised that, given the amount of time they’d been spending together and how much she’d been pushing physical boundaries, she was only just now bringing up sex this blatantly. At least she was fully clothed this time.

“Really? _That’s_ what you _need_ to talk to me about? Haven’t we had this conversation already?”

“No, we haven’t.”

“Excuse me, but I distinctly recall—“

“Not the same. That time, I was trying to seduce you. This time, I’m asking you what it would take for you to be _willing_ to be seduced, should I choose to do so.”

“Semantic bullshit.”

“I learned from the best.” She saw the corner of his mouth twitch in a suppressed smile: a good sign. “Look, I’m really, truly not here to seduce you. At least not until after we have this conversation,” she added, in response to the incredulous look on his face. “It’s just, I mean . . . look, it’s not exactly a secret that I’ve always found you attractive and that I rather like sex, but I’ve gotten to know you and we’re friends and I know that you need more than the fact that I look _amazing_ and am more than willing, but I honestly cannot figure out what more and I’m trying to respect you by _asking_ because I really would very much like to sleep with you in the non-literal sense sooner rather than later, OK?” The explanation had perhaps contained more babbling than she would have liked, but she’d said it. Couldn’t have been any clearer, really, although for such an intelligent man Daniel sometimes missed the very, very obvious.

Daniel briefly contemplated getting himself a beer or three to help get through this conversation, but being anything less than sober was a bad idea and would give Vala the kind of inch with which she could run several miles. Instead, he walked over to his couch, sank into the corner farthest from Vala, removed his glasses and rubbed his forehead, eyes closed. He felt her sit down on the other end.

Much as she didn’t like it, Vala thought that giving Daniel physical space, at least for now, was the best plan. She drew her legs up, tucked her knees under her chin, and waited. Normally, it was much more fun to harangue Daniel while he tried to gather his thoughts, but by now she knew him well enough to know that the conversation was much more likely to go the way she wanted it to if she actually let him process at his own pace.

Of course, there were limits to Vala’s patience in this regard. Fortunately, just as she was reaching the point where she couldn’t stand the silence anymore, Daniel put his glasses back on and turned to face her. He was willing to believe that she had asked her excessively blunt question in good faith, and that this was as close as she ever came to trying to respect his wishes, so he was going to try to answer in kind.

“You’re right. For me it’s always been about more than just physical attraction. I mean, I guess I’m flattered that you . . . what you said, and of course you always make sure everyone who’s ever been within a mile of you knows that you’re a beautiful woman.”

“Oh, I like where this is going,” she purred, “even if you do still seem to be struggling with saying what you mean. If you think—“

“If you’d just—“ he tried to interrupt.

“—I’m sexy, you should just say so,” she finished, right over the top of him. His expression suggested that she maybe should have controlled the impulse to give him a bad time a little longer.

“If you’d just let me get to the _point_ ,” Daniel continued through gritted teeth, resisting the urge to investigate exactly how aptly throw pillows were named by using Vala’s face as a target, “you’d see my opinion of your appearance is not the main factor here.”

Something from inside the snarl this conversation was supposed to be a step towards untangling was wondering if this had been a mistake, if maybe she didn’t want to hear what it took to get Daniel in bed, because it was something she didn’t have or couldn’t give, and besides she wanted more than just . . . No. She wanted sex, and she wanted Daniel to want sex, and that was all there was to it. Sam told her she would have to talk to Daniel about it, told her to be blunt and honest, and that was what she was doing, so no problem. Vala gave herself a little shake to get her mind back on track and gestured for Daniel to continue.

“Look, even before everything that happened with . . . with Sha’re,” he paused, making brief eye contact to make sure Vala remembered what he’d told her, was following what he was saying. She looked mildly surprised, but mostly sad and sympathetic, just like she had when he first told her.

“Anyway, even before . . . that . . . made me put up what some have argued is an unhealthy number of emotional barriers—“

“Sam?” she couldn’t help interrupting, trying to bring in a little levity.

“And Jack,” he said smiling a little.

“The tag-team of excessively sensible advice of doom.”

“That’s good; I’ll have to remember that one.”

“So long as you give credit to the author. But I’m sorry, you were saying?”

“I . . . have no idea,” he admitted, trying and failing to be properly annoyed by the derailment.

“You mentioned allegedly excessive emotional barriers,” she prompted.

“Ah. Right. Anyway, before those went up . . . I don’t know. Sex was never just sex for me, never something I wanted to do independently of other considerations. I know it is for some people, you included, and that’s fine, but I’m just not like that. I can’t just think about physical attraction and whether it would be enjoyable.”

Vala wondered which part of the subject was the greater factor in the way Daniel was hesitating over his words: the shadow of the impact of his wife’s death, or his own reticence on the subject of sex. Or maybe, she realized, he’d never had to articulate this before, never tried to, and, as he always did when translating, was just trying to be meticulous and clear.

Daniel continued, “For me, there has to be, at the very least, the real possibility of a relationship. A certain level of trust, a sense of potential compatibility. It has to be someone with whom I could see the romantic involvement going beyond just sex. And, I learned the hard way, it really shouldn’t be someone I work with, because that just makes things more complicated than I can handle, historically. You do see why, even though we really do get along much better than we used to, all of this completely disqualifies you as a potential sexual partner for me, right?”

As he finished, Daniel could see her mustering the kind of outrage she reserved for denying things that were completely true, and his last shred of patience abandoned him.

“Don’t start,” he said. “Don’t you come here at eleven o’clock at night pretending like you need to talk, disguise an attempt to use me for sex as a considerate inquiry into what I need, harangue me for not being straightforward enough, and then think you have the right to be upset with _me_ when I give you an honest answer to the question that YOU ASKED IN THE FIRST PLACE.”

He sat down in the chair across the room, not looking at her. He hadn’t even realized he’d gotten to his feet. He felt drained, and he wished more than anything that the little part of his mind that was wondering whether he’d actually gone too far, had hurt her, would shut up and go away.

The throw pillow collided with the side of his head. Even, or perhaps especially, when she was upset, Vala had excellent aim.

“You HYPOCRITE,” she yelled, hoping it wasn’t as obvious to him as it sounded to her that she was fighting back tears, trying to stop feelings other than frustration and outrage from escaping the tangle of Daniel-related emotions in her head.

“’A certain level of TRUST?’ ‘Involvement BEYOND JUST SEX?’ If we don’t have that already, then why the hell are you the first person I go to with almost everything? Why do you always come after me when I’m upset, or hurt, especially when the others can’t even tell that something’s wrong? Why have I told you more of the truth about what my life has been like than I’ve ever told anyone else? Why have we been spending so much more time together than our jobs require, and, at least as far as I could tell, _enjoying it_?”

She was off the couch, striding rapidly back and forth across the room, the words pouring out of her instead of the tears she was barely holding at bay. She could feel Daniel’s eyes on her, but she didn’t look at him: she was afraid of what he might see when her defenses were down like this, especially since she was too scared of what it was to look at it herself.

“You know, just because being with someone you work with didn’t work for you in the past doesn’t mean it couldn’t work now. Aren’t you the one who’s always lecturing me about personal growth? And speaking of double standards, it’s a good thing we don’t have the same pre-sex qualifiers, because if we did you’d have a lot more to prove to me than I would to you before we could sleep together! I hardly know anything about you outside of work. Family, friends, romantic history, how you ended up at the SGC in the first place: you’ve barely told me any of it! So don’t YOU dare, Daniel: don’t you dare talk to me about trust and personal relationships, because that only goes one way between us, and not in the direction you seem to think!”

Finished for the moment, Vala collapsed back onto the sofa, curled up her legs, hugged her knees, and leaned the side of her face against the back of the couch, eyes closed, _not_ looking at him, definitely not crying. And if she _was_ crying, she told herself, it was just from frustration at his blind pigheadedness, nothing else. Nothing else at all, no matter what outrageous ideas the snarl in her head was having about how much it hurt to hear Daniel so readily dismiss the possibility of an emotional connection between them.

Daniel’s brain was trying to catch up with his feet, which were carrying him back to the sofa and sitting him down close enough to Vala to reach out and touch her, not so close as to force contact. She was right, and the moment he admitted that to himself, everything he had been so determinedly avoiding feeling and thinking about during the past several weeks had crystallized into inescapable clarity. And now he had hurt her, and the knowledge banished both his anger and his doubt of her sincerity. He would make this right, he _had_ to make this right. He reached out, laid his hand lightly on her knee, but she flinched away and he immediately withdrew it.

“Hey,” he said, voice effortlessly gentle. “I’m trying . . . I’d like to apologize. Could you look at me? Please?” He wanted to look her in the eyes and make this right. He would tell her anything she wanted to know: about his own less-than-ideal growing-up years, about his journey to the fringes of academia, about his meager dating history, about Katherine, about Sha’re, about Nick, about the twists and turns in his life that brought him to a ship that was hijacked by a real live space pirate with a heart of gold, an inability to shut up, and an often poetic interpretation of the truth. Of course she would be safe to tell those things to: he wanted to kick himself for not realizing ages ago that, on the few occasions he had shared a personal confidence with her, she had been kind and respectful. But this wasn’t about making him feel better for being a jackass, this was about doing things on Vala’s terms for once, so he waited.

There was something in Daniel’s voice that Vala had never heard before. She did a quick inventory and decided she was enough in control to open her eyes. She made sure she could feel herself glaring—she _was_ still angry—before making eye contact. But the look on his face—she didn’t think anyone who came even close to knowing her properly had looked at her like that since before Qetesh. Like what mattered most in the whole universe was that she was OK, and that he would do whatever it took to make that happen. She felt her glare slip, and even though she quickly put it back in place, she saw him see.

Daniel could tell that she was still angry, and rightfully so. But he also saw her glare lapse, for an instant, into an expression that was something like amazement, and he wondered how much of his thought process was showing on his face. It was a strange feeling, realizing all at once that he cared for Vala more than he’d let himself care for anyone in such a long time, and he supposed at least some of it must be coming through in his expression.

So. She was angry, but at least somewhat prepared to be appeased; it was just a matter of finding the right gesture . . . Oh. Of course.

Daniel smiled.

Vala stared. Daniel hardly ever smiled, and she’d never seen him smile like this. His entire face was positively radiant. She wanted nothing so much as to just bask in that smile, to do whatever she could to keep it there forever, for her. But he still hadn’t _actually_ said sorry, and she couldn’t let him get away with that.

“Hey. Slap-happy,” she said, pleased that she didn’t sound at all sappy. “Were you going to say sorry or what?”

Daniel’s smile widened, and Vala could almost swear that his eyes _sparkled_. “Uh-huh. I’m sorry, and to demonstrate my contrition, I’m offering you a choice: you can ask me whatever questions you want about my life, even the score a little, or—“ he paused, and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Wait. Oh, surely not. She never had days that went this well. “Daniel, are you offering to seduce me?”

He answered with a kiss: soft, tender, his hands on her face. Over too soon.

“Well,” he said, stroking her cheek, “given the way all this started, technically _you’re_ the one seducing _me_.”

“Semantic bullshit.”  
“I learned from the best.”

“No arguments there,” Vala said, grinning, and threw her arms around Daniel’s neck and tackled him onto his back, kissing him enthusiastically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half of this chapter was loosely based on THE SCENE (you know the one) in "Unending." I always thought Vala should have gotten to do some shouting of her own in that interaction, since Daniel can, on occasion, be a bit of a patronizing jackass, so in my version, she does. Also, to give credit where it's due, I think my "How had this become his life?" line may have been subconsciously influenced by [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/658469/chapters/1652729) chapter in cleanwhiteroom's fic "Mathématique."


	7. Different

Daniel came awake slowly, feeling disoriented. Disoriented on many levels, actually, because he was aware of being in his own bed in his apartment, and therefore shouldn’t have a reason to be disoriented. No more than his usual pre-coffee mental incoherence, anyway. Then he became aware of what he was hearing. Shower. Someone was taking a shower?

No. Not someone. Vala. His brain was starting to wake up enough to give meaning to the sensory input. Vala was not in bed next to him, where she had been all night. Because they had had sex last night. After having a much-more-personal-than-usual shouting match. And now it was the morning after. And she was taking a shower.

He rolled over to see what time it was. 9:30. Acceptable. More than acceptable, really: he didn’t know when he’d last slept that long, or that _well_ , all in one go.

He sat up. Coffee. Coffee was, and always would be, a necessity.

The water shut off.

Shower. He needed one first. Shower, then coffee.

Going to take a shower would require seeing her. Before caffeine restored full brain function. But it was Vala: he saw her in the morning, before either of them was really fully human, all the time. But that was on missions. This was . . . no. Don’t overthink it. Shower, then coffee, then processing. Simple. Achievable. Hopefully.

“Morning,” Vala greeted him brightly when he opened the bathroom door. She was standing in front of the counter, one towel wrapped around her hair and one tucked snugly around her torso, looking very awake. Some people had caffeine. Vala, apparently, had . . . a very complex-looking morning beauty routine. He was about to ask where the sundry whatever-they-were currently spread all over his bathroom counter had come from, but then he saw her open purse sitting on the floor.

“Seriously? You carry all that in your purse? All the time?”

“I prefer to be prepared.”

“Uh-huh.” Daniel dropped his boxers, ignored Vala’s appreciative growl, and stepped into the shower.

When he turned on the water, his sudden, loud yelp startled Vala enough that she jumped—fortunately she hadn’t been in the process of actual makeup application just that moment. Daniel then began muttering a string of words in a language—or, more likely, languages—that Vala didn’t recognize, though she was pretty sure from his tone that the words weren’t the sort one used in polite company.

On reflection, she probably should have mentioned that she’d used all the hot water.

Daniel took one of the faster showers of his life—short enough that he didn’t run out of non-English epithets for the entire time the mercilessly cold water was running. As he was toweling himself dry, he did, begrudgingly, admit to himself that he was significantly more awake than he normally was at this point in a day off.

He secured the towel around his waist and stepped out of the shower. “Budge up,” he told Vala, reaching for his razor.

She obliged, making room for him at the counter “You’re grumpy when you first wake up in non-life-threatening situations,” she told him, eyes twinkling.

“Yeah, and having my house guest use all the hot water and not warn me did absolutely nothing to exacerbate that,” he shot back.

“Yes, well, you may have a point there. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’ll be that much more satisfying when I figure out how to make you pay for it later.”

“Why Daniel, one might almost suspect that you’ve been letting me have an influence on you.”

He finished his shave, replaced his razor, and dried his face. Then he bent down and whispered in Vala’s ear, “Yes, one just might,” and leaned in to kiss one of the sensitive spots on her neck he had discovered the night before, running his tongue back and forth until he felt the vibrations of a stifled moan in her throat.

He straightened and headed for the door, leaving Vala flushed and breathless. “But I like to think I’m still above that kind of thing,” he said, smirking. “So, I’m gonna get dressed and make us breakfast while you finish whatever it is you’re doing here.” And he went to do just that, leaving Vala leaning against the counter, trying to regain her ability to form coherent thoughts.

She took several deep, steadying breaths. Well. _Daniel_ being a deliberate tease was not a development she had anticipated. She was going to have to re-think a few things.

* * *

Daniel was just putting the last pancakes on a plate and turning off the stove when Vala arrived in the kitchen.

He turned, handed her a mug of coffee, which he’d prepared with the unholy amount of sugar he knew she liked, and raised his eyebrows. “So that _was_ a hairdryer I heard. Your purse doesn’t happen to be a doorway to Narnia, does it?”

“I take it that reference has something to do with the amount of emergency supplies I’m able to fit in it?” she asked, sipping her coffee and humming contentedly.

“More or less. You have a weird definition of an emergency.”

“Says the person with short hair who forgets to do things like eat and sleep, never mind personal hygiene, when he gets wrapped up in his work.”

“Point. Speaking of eating, we probably should before the pancakes get cold.”

“Agreed,” Vala said, grabbing plates, cups, and silverware while Daniel fetched the pancakes, butter, syrup, a bowl of apples, and a carton of orange juice.

“It’s pretty basic,” he told her apologetically as they sat down at the cleared corner of his table; the rest was covered with precarious-looking stacks of paper and folders and academic periodicals. “I don’t buy many perishables, so there wasn’t a lot to work with.”

“Well, I think it looks great, and the pancakes smell perfectly edible, so I’m sure we’ll manage just fine.”

They ate in silence for a while. Daniel poured himself a second cup of coffee, and Vala accepted when he offered her one as well. He watched her suspiciously over the rim of his mug.

“What?” she asked, noticing.

“You’re never this quiet when you don’t have to be.”

“You make good pancakes.”

“Yeah, and the mess makes a lot of good food, too, and that never stops you from chattering away while you stuff your face.”

She swallowed her last mouthful of pancake and stuck out her tongue.

“You not liking it doesn’t make it any less true,” he pointed out.

“Hmm, how does that expression go? Something about pots and kettles and the color black?”

“I fail to see how that applies.”

“You never stop fighting truths you don’t like. Though you do seem to succeed in changing quite a few of those. More than I do, anyway.” Her voice had taken on that sad, wistful quality that he used to assume meant she was winding him up. Not anymore.

Slowly, carefully, he reached out and laid his hand on hers, stroking the back with his thumb.

“That’s quite the compliment, though I’m not sure I deserve it. Almost makes me want to let you get away with avoiding my question,” he told her, smiling.

She smiled back. “Worth a shot.” She turned her hand over and curled her fingers around his. “If you must know, I was thinking about what you said last night, when you were yelling at me.”

Daniel flinched. “Not like that,” she clarified. “I was thinking that, even though I absolutely stand by everything I said afterwards, you may have had a point. About my tendency to not respect your wishes when they conflict with what I want. About me pushing your boundaries maybe more than I should. Of course, I’m rather resistant to the idea that you’re right and I’m wrong, so I was having quite the argument with myself about it.”

“Who won?”

“Don’t know yet: I was interrupted.”

“Ah.”

They were silent again. Vala played with Daniel’s fingers, wanting and not wanting to tell him the other reason she had been so quiet: finally getting him in bed had not had the desired effect on the tangle of emotions she’d been trying to deal with, and she felt more mixed-up than ever. She’d let herself be vulnerable last night, vulnerable in ways that were too risky. And yet . . . she felt almost safe, sitting here having breakfast. Playing with Daniel’s fingers. This _wasn’t_ how this was supposed to go, but she wasn’t nearly as upset about it as she knew she should be.

Daniel reached out and captured her restless hands in both of his, stilling them. “I don’t know what the hell this is, either,” he told her, employing that uncanny mind-reading ability of his, the one that was most likely to surface when she was upset and conflicted (and yet had insisted on being absent every time she had been mentally begging him to just kiss her already! or maybe it hadn’t; now _there_ was a thought).

“’This?’” she asked.

“You. Me. Possibly some form of ‘us.’ After last night, it’s different. It’s a something, but I don’t know what kind of something, and I don’t think you do either, and I think that scares the hell out of both of us. It scares the hell out of me, anyway. I guess I should know better by now than to assume I know what you’re thinking.”

“Oh, I don’t know, you’re usually more or less right when you try. And aren’t already so annoyed that you’re contemplating throwing me out the nearest window.”

“I would never.”

She cocked an eyebrow.

“Never actually do it, anyway,” he amended. She smirked, and he rolled his eyes, shaking his head, but also smiling.

“What if . . . what if we took the day to figure it out? What this thing is?” he asked abruptly, gesturing vaguely in the air between them with his right hand while still holding both of hers with his left.

“And what would that entail, exactly?”

“I don’t know. Lots of talking. Possibly while walking around, going out to lunch maybe? Well, we’ll have to go out for lunch or get take-out or something, because I don’t really have much left in the way of food, and I’m not taking you grocery shopping. Or we could talk while staying here, and you could arrange us however you want on my couch, and I might not complain at all. Mostly we need to talk, just us, and figure out what this is and if it’s what we want it to be and how it affects work. Especially that last one.”

“OK.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Should we maybe—and I cannot _believe_ I’m suggesting this—should we maybe clean up the breakfast things?”

“You’re right: I cannot believe that _you_ voluntarily suggested cleaning up.”

“Well, I guess we’re both full of surprises this morning,” she told him, carrying her things to the sink.

“Meaning what, exactly?” He grabbed his own dishes and followed.

“You know. That little stunt you pulled in the bathroom?” she reminded him, running water over her syrupy plate.

He’d been wondering if there was going to be any fallout from that, and whether it would be in his favor, but he couldn’t help smirking as he handed her his plate and took her rinsed one to put in the dishwasher.

“Why, did that bother you?” he asked innocently.

She turned to glare at him. “I don’t think ‘bother’ is quite the word, no.”

“Funny how quickly the tables can turn.”

“Shut up.”

They finished putting the plates and cups and silverware in the dishwasher, then Daniel washed the bowl and pan he’d used for the pancakes while Vala dried.

“This is weird,” he remarked as they finished.

She threw the dishtowel in his face.

“You don’t think this is weird?” he asked, pulling it off and hanging it up.

“Depends what you mean by ‘this’,” she said, pointedly.

“Ah. Right. Well—“

Both their phones went off.

For a moment they just stared at each other, frozen. Daniel’s generic ringtone and Vala’s peppy pop song clashed in the otherwise silent kitchen.

Daniel moved first, not breaking eye contact as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, huffing a sigh and turning away to answer when he saw the caller ID. Vala dove for her purse, just managing to answer before her phone went to voicemail.

“Mitchell.”

“Hello? Oh, hi Sam.”

“Uh-huh. Naturally.”

“Now? Some break that turned out to be.”

“No, I just finished breakfast, I can come straight in . . . Yeah.” Daniel snapped his phone shut.

“Actually, I won’t. . . Why? Oh, umm . . . Daniel and I decided to meet in town for breakfast. Oh, no need to bother, wouldn’t’ want you to go out of your way. We just finished, so we can leave straight from here. See you soon.” Vala ended the call, and shot Daniel a look, like she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the lie, but hadn’t known what else to do.

“Thanks,” he said.

“For?”

“For not telling her.”

“Right. Of course. No problem. I mean, it’s not something you just say over the phone, is it?”

“Me? No, probably not. You? Depends on the day.”

“Funny.”

“Sorry.”

“So . . . do I give you a ride or do we take separate cars?” she asked after a brief silence.

“Separate cars. Maintain the illusion that we met somewhere, but it was just breakfast and we meant to go our separate ways after. We should figure out where it was, what we ate, all that. Keep our stories straight.”

“You say that like it’s going to be hard.”

“I’m aware that this kind of thing is very much within your skill set, but it isn’t in mine. As you very well know.”

She smirked, and turned to find her shoes.

“Vala.” She didn’t look up. She thought she knew what was coming, and she really didn’t know how she felt about it.

“Can we not tell the others? Please? At least until we’ve had a chance to talk? I just . . . they’ll want to know what we are. Or they’ll assume they know. And I just—“

“I get it. It’s fine.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“OK then.”

They worked out their cover story while they put on their shoes and collected their respective paraphernalia. Daniel thought Vala seemed off, like maybe she wasn’t as on board with the plan as she said she was, but she assured him that she was fine, and the way they were handling the situation was fine, right up until they separated to get into their respective cars.

Once they had parked at the base, and he had checked to make sure no one was around, Daniel reached out and stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.  
“You’re sure—“

“For goodness’ sake, Daniel, I know how to handle myself; it was _just sex_.”

She regretted the words even as she said them, but the damage was already done.


	8. Digging Holes and Mending Fences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience, I know it's been forever! But I'm hoping to give this story more attention now. No promises, but hopefully there won't be _quite_ as big a gap between this chapter and the next.
> 
> This chapter begins the "Ark of Truth" section of the story, so from now on there will be scenes lifted directly from the movie, though if I'm doing my job right, their meaning will be different now because of what's happened/is happening between Daniel and Vala.
> 
> Thanks to [Chocolatequeen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocolatequeen/) for betaing this (and probably all future) chapters.

It shouldn’t be this easy, pretending. As if they just had one of their usual spats over breakfast or something. It’s convenient, sure, but far too easy.

Because it _wasn’t_ just sex, and Vala _knew_ that. Didn’t she? He _told_ her, spelled it out, he didn’t do “just sex,” not ever. And he’d thought . . . God, she’d done it again, hadn’t she? Convinced him she was feeling one thing, when really she was just using him. He’d been so sure they were past that, but clearly that was too much to hope for.

Except it wasn’t, not really, and given recent history Daniel knew that it was at least as likely that the part Vala hadn’t really meant was those four awful words, _it was just sex_. And, OK, so he’d been pushing her, and it may have sounded like he didn’t trust her, was ashamed of her. Still, it didn’t give her the right to brush everything off like that, and the part of him that was raw and angry and hurt still wasn’t entirely convinced that she should be given the benefit of the doubt about whether the intimacy or the brush-off was the lie.

Vala was glad that it’s this easy, acting more or less normally. Progress, right? Progress on untangling everything, sorting herself out, getting back towards the simplicity she prefers in her relationships.

Except it wasn’t easy, not really. She knew she shouldn’t have said what she did, and part of her wanted to apologize because she felt awful and she hated the way Daniel never quite looked at her, jerked away every time she touched him or even seemed as if she was about to. She wished she could tell herself that the words just slipped out, but that wasn’t entirely true: she was frustrated with the way he kept saying, over and over, that he didn’t want anyone to know what had happened, what they’d done, what they might be moving towards, and the part of her brain that was constantly calculating the best way to get the upper hand in whatever situation she found herself in had supplied her with those four words, and she’d let them out, and there was no un-saying them. _It was just sex_. Ha. Didn’t she wish.

No, she didn’t. She didn’t wish that at all, and that was the worst, most terrifying part of it. She had been _looking forward_ to spending the day with Daniel, to talking things out and getting everything sorted. She’d wanted it. _You, me, possibly some form of us_ , he’d said. And for a few moments she’d let herself know that _possibly some form of us_ was something she wanted. But duty called, like it always did, and between the two of them they’d managed to screw everything up, like they always did. As much as she hated it, she’d changed enough since arriving on this planet, spending time with these people, that she knew the current state of affairs was at least half her fault.

He wasn’t really ashamed of her, was he? She’d had lovers who were, but that was fine because she’d just been using them in one capacity or another, and she supposed they’d been using her, too, so she hadn’t minded. But if _Daniel_ was ashamed of her . . . life as a member of SG-1 contained far too many lessons about things she never knew she couldn’t bear.

These were the thoughts that chases each other around in Daniel and Vala’s heads as they travelled to Dakarra, made camp, and began the search for the Ark of Truth in earnest.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sam asked Vala as they settled into their tent the first night.

“Talk about what?” Vala asked, dreading the answer.

“Whatever it is you and Daniel fought about this time."

“Oh, _that_ ,” Vala said, imbuing her tone with as much flippancy as she could muster. “Just the usual, really. Me being my delightfully vivacious self, Daniel not being able to handle it, me not doing so well at handling Daniel not being able to handle it. We’re not making things difficult for you, are we?"

Sam looked at her skeptically. “No, nothing like that. It just seems . . . I don’t know. Like it was a bad one?"

“Perhaps a bit, but these things have a way of working themselves out,” Vala said, hoping Sam would stop pushing.

“That they do. Just wanted to let you know I’m here for you if you decide you want to talk more."

Vala wondered whether Sam was refraining from asking if the fight had anything to do with the advice Vala solicited from her about getting Daniel into bed, and appreciated her friend’s discretion while violently shoving down the treacherous vestige of her former self that told her it would serve Daniel right if she told Sam everything. Vala had concluded some time ago that a friend like Samantha Carter was worth having to wait this late in life to find.

“So, Sunshine,” was Mitchell’s opener the second night, “what’s up with you and Princess?"

Daniel refused to roll over to face his inquisitive friend. “What do you mean?"

“I mean, how long before this particular fight blows over?"

“I’m sorry, but this is your business how, exactly?” Daniel asked in exasperation, turning around and sitting up. “I mean, we’re getting our work done just fine, probably more efficiently than if she was chattering at her usual rate, so what’s the problem?"

“It’s my business ‘cause we’re friends, and the problem is that you’re both kinda miserable. As your friend, I’d rather you were happy."

“Right. And neither of us could have any possible reason to be less than chipper other than being upset with one another. It’s not as if we’re desperately searching for what might be our last best hope of defeating the Ori or anything."

“Have it your way, Sunshine."

Not that Daniel would have admitted it to Mitchell, but it was the work that made things bearable. What they were doing was too vital to let what was and wasn’t going on between him and Vala get in the way, so while they worked things were almost normal between them. She was quieter and Daniel more terse than their usual, but they moved around each other in familiar patterns that Daniel found comforting. Add that to the list of things he wouldn’t be admitting to anybody any time soon.

The nights, however, were a different story. Evenings around the camp stove where neither could ignore the wrongness of the space between them, not after so many weeks of near-constant physical closeness. And after, trying to fall asleep in his tent, Daniel found that he couldn’t quite banish the memory of Vala’s mouth against his, rough hands on soft skin, and most of all the look in her eyes when she’d let him see that she cared. He didn’t know which was worse, the lack of access to a cold shower or that part of him wanted to revel in the memories, consequences and the way it all fell to pieces afterwards be damned. This wasn’t something that happened to him . . . ever. This wasn’t the way his libido worked. _But it’s Vala, and that changes everything_ , that treacherous part of his mind whispered.

Vala, in the other tent, remembered those things too, but what kept her tossing and turning was that first tender kiss, Daniel’s hands on her face, sharing the bathroom counter the next morning, pancakes from scratch and coffee made exactly the way she liked it. The sex had been everything she’d hoped, but somehow it was all the rest of it that mattered most, and that was the most terrifying thing of all, because she might have screwed it all up before she got more than a taste for this thing she was trying more and more futilely not to want.

Neither could quite decide whether it was a good or bad thing that, with each day of the routine of the difficult, tedious, vital work of searching for the Ark that passed, the tension between them lessened. They began to snipe at each other, just a little, instead of working in near-silence. The space between them in the evenings shrank and by the fifth night they were bumping shoulders just like they usually did, choosing to ignore the looks that passed between Sam, Cam, and Teal’c that spoke volumes about the obvious causal relationship between Daniel and Vala’s closeness and their overall good mood.

On the sixth day, they found the Ark.

It was the third hole they’d dug that day, and by then Daniel and Vala had found their way back to enough normal that she was driving him _nuts_ , so when she declared that she needed a break and went to sprawl on a fallen slab, Daniel was more than happy to let her do it.

Finally ready to get the chest he was pretty sure was the Ark out of the hole, he turned to Teal’c, whose turn it was to stand guard with Daniel and Vala while Sam and Cam watched the perimeter. “Give me a hand?” he called.

Daniel and Teal’c heaved the stone chest out of the hole and carried it into the open.

Vala, whose optimism about their task had dwindled by the day, didn’t even turn to face them when she asked, “You really think this is it?”

Daniel took out a brush and, crouching down, dusted at the chest’s lid as he answered. "Well, it's covered in Ancient writing. These symbols here,” he brushed his fingers lightly over a particular section, "are part of the oldest dialect I'm aware of. It says, ‘Safely kept is the something of old.’"

Vala sat up, her frustration mounting. “What’s the ‘something,’ Daniel?” she pressed.

Daniel looked at her levelly. Why had he missed this, again? “Well, if I knew for sure, I wouldn’t have said ‘ _the something_.’” Still, two could play at this game. He turned to Teal’c. “Why am I answering her?"

Even if Teal’c had been inclined to respond, Vala didn’t give him time to do so.

“Stop your yammering and open it,” she insisted, ignoring Daniel’s dig at her perfectly legitimate question.

"We can't just open it,” Daniel informed her, still crouched in front of the chest.

"Why not?"

Vala listened with growing impatience as he explained. "Well, if this is what I think it is, it's a powerful piece of Ancient technology capable of making anyone who looks into it believe that the Ori—“

“—are not gods,” she chimed in with him as he finished, standing up and flinging her hands out for emphasis, wishing he would tell her something she didn’t already know.

“As far as we know,” Daniel reminded her emphatically.

"Well, we already believe that, no harm done. Open it.”

“I said _as far as we know_. There may be other things it’s capable of making you believe.” Did he seriously have to tell her this, after everything they’d been through with Ancient technology?

OK, so Daniel maybe kind of sort of had a point, but she wasn’t telling him that. “Maybe we’re supposed to believe those other things, too.”

Daniel felt the final threads of his patience fraying as they only ever did around Vala. "You know what? That's beside the point. There's another reason we can't just open it."

"Look at my hands, all right? They are raw and bleeding. I've broken every nail. We've been out here in the scorching heat for days. I haven't showered!” Vala reminded him plaintively, turning away to pace as she talked.

“None of us have!” Daniel pointed out, banishing the image of her standing in his bathroom in nothing but a towel.

“ _That_ ,” Vala said, pointing back towards him for emphasis without turning to face him, "is painfully obvious.” She spun around and walked towards Daniel and the Ark. "Now, according to you, this crusty old chest is our salvation from oppression at the hands of the Ori army. Our best—and maybe only—remaining chance that we have. We've dug how many holes in the ground?” She turned to Teal’c. "Help me out here, Muscles.”

“Many,” Teal’c said impassively.

“Now, all the years the Jaffa were here,” Vala began again. Daniel tossed his brush over his shoulder and removed his glasses in exasperation, closing his eyes and rubbing them with his wrist, but Vala ignored his frustration and plowed on, "they knew that Dakara was the first landing place of the Alterans in this galaxy. You mean to tell me they never looked for Ancient artifacts?” she finished, the last question directed at Teal’c. Daniel replaced his glasses.

"There were a few artifacts that were excavated and catalogued when the city was being rebuilt.” Daniel nodded as Teal’c spoke: he knew this, and so would Vala if she’d just _pay attention_. "But with the constant change of leadership, little time, or manpower—“

Vala cut him off. "Yes, yes, yes, and blah, blah, blah. But here we are. Finally, we may have found it. The ultimate weapon. So could someone please explain to me why we can't confirm our blessed fortune by simply opening it?” By the end of her increasingly frantic speech, Vala had closed her eyes and left them that way, unable to look at Daniel's stoic refusal to just _get on with it_ so they could _save the galaxy_ and also _shower_ already.

Daniel was aware that Vala was just as at the end of her rope as he was, but at the moment he had little patience for her way of dealing with that. "Because it's sealed shut!” he told her. She opened her eyes. "It literally won't," he tugged at the lid for emphasis, "open."

"Oh," Vala said. Then, recovering, "Why didn't you say so?"

Daniel's eyes followed her as she meandered towards their pile of equipment. "Well, I was _trying_ to, but you wouldn't stop your _yammering_ ," he told her. She shot him a look, and he smiled innocently.

Then she picked up the pickaxe and turned back towards the chest, and he realized what she was about to do. He rushed forward to stop her. "Wait! Nonononono! You can't do that!" He grabbed the pickaxe handle, ignoring the part of his brain that was suddenly hyper-aware of his hands against Vala's. "I told you, this is a piece of technology, you could _damage_ it."

She was finding Daniel's hands close to hers on the pickaxe handle much more distracting than they had any right to be. "It's been buried for millions of years, Daniel."

"Quiet!" Teal'c called, a note of warning in his voice, cutting off Daniel's retort.

"What?" Daniel and Vala asked in unison.

Mitchell's voice came over the radio. "Hey kids, guess what?" They heard weapon's fire in the background on Mitchell's end, and then Ori fighters flew over their heads. "We are under fire," Mitchell concluded unnecessarily.

Teal'c drew his P90 while Daniel and Vala quickly grabbed theirs from the equipment pile. Daniel went and stood by the Ark while Vala and Teal'c waited to hear more from Sam and Mitchell. When Mitchell and Sam came rapidly retreating through the doors separating their section of the ruins from the rest, Teal'c darted forward and crouched by a pillar to the right of the doors while Vala ran over to drop behind a stone block a little in front and to the side of the chest.

The Ori troops were now between them and the Stargate.

"What are you doing? We have to go there!" Vala yelled.

"We know," Mitchell said, dropping down beside her.

"There's too many of them," Sam informed them from her position closest to the gates.

"There's no other way out of here," Vala reminded them.

"We _know_ ," Mitchell growled, sighting down his P90.

Vala turned to Daniel, gesturing emphatically at the Ark. “How about now?"

“Yeah, now works for me,” Daniel said, putting down his gun and turning to grab a hammer and chisel from the equipment pile.

For a moment, the only sound was the pounding of hammer on chisel as Daniel worked as fast as he could to unseal the ancient chest that was probably their only way out. Then, an unexpectedly familiar voice shouted from the other side of the doors: “Vala, it’s Tomin. Throw down your weapons and surrender, and I promise you will all be spared."

Vala blinked. This complicated things. On the other hand, if Daniel couldn’t get the damn chest open—she turned to him and gestured that he should _hurry up_ while Mitchell exchanged words with Tomin; Daniel tried to work faster.

Tomin was talking to her again. "Vala, you have to trust me. Your position has been targeted from space. Comply now, or you will be destroyed."

Vala’s mind was racing, but their options were limited, and she knew from experience that she was Tomin’s weak spot, the crack in his chassis, and she would never hesitate to use that to save her friends, and Tomin himself. “I think we have to trust him,” she told Mitchell.

Mitchell turned to Daniel. “Jackson?"

Daniel grunted and shook his head: the chest wouldn’t be yielding to blunt force in the time they had.

Sometimes Vala wondered what these people ever did without her. “What if we got them to open it?” she suggested.

The others exchanged glances.

“Well, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, would it?” She directed this question at Daniel. He didn’t really react, but at least he wasn’t telling her she was crazy or that her idea could get them all killed or some other variation of “don’t listen to Vala."

“All right. Invite him in.” Mitchell said, clearly skeptical and not at all fond of what they were about to do. He put down his P90 and stood up, stepping back from it.

“Um, you can come in,” Vala called, setting her gun down next to Mitchell’s. As they heard the soldiers approaching, Sam and Teal'c, as reluctant as Mitchell, put down their weapons as well, and Daniel set down his hammer and chisel and got to his feet, looking wary.

Vala fluffed at her hair, tossing it behind her shoulders. There was nothing to be done about the dirt and grime of six days without a shower; she banished the thought of the circumstances surrounding her last shower. "I look like crap," she complained, turning to meet Tomin as he came in. Beauty was battle armor, and she didn't like going into this encounter less than fully shielded. She would have to work with what she had.

Daniel ignored the small knot that formed in his gut when Vala attempted to primp before Tomin saw her.

The soldiers surrounded them in a circle, weapons pointing inward. Daniel sighed. This could go so horribly wrong, and even if it didn't . . . no, now was not the time to think about Vala worrying how she looked for Tomin. Not the time at all.

Vala faced Tomin, who remained by the gates, facing SG-1. "Hi," she said tentatively. "How are you?" Tomin was silent, frowning at her. "What's new?" she tried, biting her lip. It had been months since she'd last seen him, when she'd managed to play on his feelings for her enough that he let her go. But she knew better than most how much people could change in that amount of time.

Tomin walked towards her, but the small smile he finally gave her, and the tone in which he asked what they were doing there, were not encouraging.

He came even closer as Mitchell deadpanned: "Wow, we really are on the same page. Took the words right out of my mouth."

"How did you know we were here?" Vala asked, both to keep Tomin's attention on her, and because she was genuinely curious and concerned about the answer.

Before Tomin could respond, a sickeningly familiar voice spoke from beyond the gate. "The power of the Ori need not be questioned." Tomin immediately stepped back and to the side, bowing briefly.

Vala suppressed a shudder as the man who sentenced her to burn, now a Prior, walked in.

"Oh, here we go," Mitchell muttered. Vala glanced at him, wishing she could feel as cavalier about the situation, and was grateful the Prior couldn't recognize her the way she recognized him. She felt awful about what must have happened to the couple she and Daniel accidentally possessed on their first trip to the Ori galaxy but, well, in moments like these she was acutely aware of the advantages. That, and the anti-Prior device stowed in one of the equipment bags in case of just such a situation as this.

Daniel, who also recognized the Prior, found himself hoping that he would be the one to get to shoot him once the anti-Prior device took effect. Assuming there were hostilities, and they were able to regain their weapons. He really shouldn't be hoping for a combat situation but, well, he wanted this guy dead, and he kind of wanted to do it. He hadn't felt this way since . . . shit. Since Apophis. He forced his train of thought to a screeching halt, instead focusing on the Prior, who had turned towards him and was asking what they'd found.

"Hang on a second," Mitchell chimed in. "Shouldn't you know that already?" Tomin turned to glare at him. "Your logic," he said, pointing at the Prior.

Was it a team leader thing? Because Daniel was pretty sure that's exactly what Jack would've said. Time to play sincere Tau'ri/snarky Tau'ri. "No, wait, wait, no need to be difficult here," he broke in, making conciliatory hand gestures. "You want to know what it is, I'll tell you. Inside this Ark is the secret to destroying the armies of the Ori. And I think the last thing you're gonna want to do is open it." Not his most subtle work, but Priors didn't really do subtle.

"You think I fear the contents?" the Prior asked. Case in point.

"I'm saying you really should," Daniel told him, all earnestness.

"Open it," the Prior said, arrogance in every line of his face. Easier than leading a mastadge to water.

Two soldiers left the circle and began to wrestle with the Ark's lid. Daniel didn't move.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Overkill, maybe, but what the hell. If he couldn't shoot the Prior, he could at least make his fall from grace as hard as possible.

"Open it!" the Prior repeated.

The soldiers tugged on the lid, attempting to obey, but were no more successful than Daniel had been. "It's sealed shut," one of them announced as they stepped back from the Ark. The Prior nodded to Tomin, who raised his staff weapon.

_Shit_. "Wait! No!" Daniel cried, throwing out his hands.

They ignored him, and the Ark's lid exploded when the blast hit it. Daniel turned back to the Ark as the dust settled and Tomin approached. Vala tried to use Mitchell as support, standing on her tiptoes in an attempt to see into the Ark without getting any closer. Tomin reached into the chest, but what he pulled out were scrolls that crumbled when he squeezed them.

It wasn't the Ark after all. "OK. Not what I was expecting," Daniel admitted, refusing to let his sheepishness show as Tomin and the Prior stared at him.

"Foolhardy are those who do not follow the path," the Prior intoned.

"Anyone wanna bet what he's gonna say next?" Mitchell asked.

"Kill them," the Prior said, turning away.

"Could've made money on that one," Mitchell muttered to Vala.

Daniel glanced around, wondering how the hell they would get out of this one.

Abruptly, Tomin turned and went after the Prior. "Prior. I gave them my word: if they surrendered peacefully, they would be spared."

Daniel didn't particularly want to have any positive feelings towards Tomin, but, well.

" _Your_ word? The word of the Ori is all that matters!" the Prior said, voice rising.

Tomin spoke over him, voice also rising. "The Book of Origin says that truth is the beginning of the path!"

"Tomin, I grow tired of your questioning! Kill them now, or you shall burn in the fire of everlasting torment!"

Tomin glared at the Prior a moment longer, then turned and pointed his weapon at Mitchell and Vala.

Daniel fought the urge to put himself between the weapon and Vala, knowing that she was their best shot at getting through to Tomin. Still, he wondered how much of her open, relaxed stance was an act and how much she truly believed her former husband wouldn't hurt her.

"Don't do it," Vala told Tomin calmly. The Prior might be handled, but all the soldiers still had weapons; they need Tomin on their side. "He can't hurt you. We trusted you." She softened her voice. "Trust me now."

The Prior glanced between the two, then yelled, "Fire your weapon!"

"You think he's testing you," Mitchell said, never breaking eye contact with Tomin.

"But really he's forcing you to do it," Daniel added, taking up the thread and investing his voice with all the desperate sincerity he felt, "because he's realized that, for some reason beyond his comprehension, he's completely powerless."

"Kill them!" the Prior repeated.

Tomin, his eyes on Vala, who faced him calmly, slowly lowered his weapon.

"Kill them now!" the Prior bellowed, frenzied, tossing aside his staff. "I command you!" He grabbed Tomin's weapon, and then everything happened very fast.

Vala whirled and ducked while Mitchell elbowed the guard right behind him, firing the guard's weapon before he finished wresting it from his hands and hitting the Prior squarely in the chest. Mitchell got the weapon away from the guard but immediately raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture.

"Stop! Do not fire!" Tomin commanded the soldiers.

Mitchell placed his stolen weapon on the ground and stepped back from it, hands at his side but open and visible.

Tomin approached the dead Prior, then turned back to Mitchell. “How?" he asked, his shock and confusion written all over his face.

"Here," Sam called quietly from behind Tomin. "I can show you." She knelt down slowly and opened the pack at her feet, removing the anti-Prior device. She remained crouched on the ground as she explained. "We use this device. It temporarily neutralizes their abilities."

Tomin stared at the Prior, whose fatal chest wound was still smoking. After a long, tense moment, he told his soldiers to lower their weapons.

Daniel breathed a sigh of relief and fought the urge to hurry to Vala's side, ignoring the tightening of the knot in his gut when she approached Tomin where he still stared at the dead Prior and laid her hand on his shoulder. Daniel reminded himself that Tomin was the kind of person he usually reached out to at this stage, and finally left his position by the chest and walked over to stand on Tomin's other side, contenting himself with briefly catching Vala's eye. This elicited the tiniest of relieved smiles from her before they both turned their attention to Tomin, who appeared to be coming out of his daze and remembering that the Ori soldiers still looked to him for leadership.

"We can give you asylum if you come with us willingly," Daniel murmured. "Your men, too. We could use your help."

Tomin nodded slowly. "We have been lied to," he told the soldiers, voice clear and carrying. "I have many questions, and perhaps you do, too. I will return to Earth with the Tau'ri, and any of you who wish it may do so as well. Any who do not may depart in peace to go where they will, so long as they harm none who remain. It is your choice; I can no longer command you." And with that, he threw down his staff weapon.

In the end, a little over half of the soldiers who saw the Prior die chose to come back to Earth. The rest went back to their ship, no doubt to spread word of the Tau'ri's latest trickery and treachery.

SG-1 gathered the soldiers' weapons and broke camp as quickly as they could, then escorted their prisoners back to Earth.


	9. Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for your patience with the wait between chapters.
> 
> My eternal gratitude to [Chocolatequeen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocolatequeen/), who beta'd this chapter and reassured me that it made sense.

After dropping the soldiers off at the Alpha Site, during which time Teal’c and Mitchell questioned Tomin for all the intel he could give them, they escorted him to the SGC.

Landry was waiting for them in the 'gate room. "Report to me as soon as medical clears you."

"Sir--" Daniel and Vala began at the same time.

"Hospitality personnel have been assigned to look after Commander Tomin," Landry told them, anticipating their concern.

"Thank you, sir," they chorused again.

While a nurse performed the usual procedures for personnel returning from off world, the fact that they'd failed to find the Ark of Truth, and what that might mean, finally hit Daniel, and suddenly he was exhausted. Six days of hard labor in the dust and heat, the mental and emotional energy of dealing with the distraction that was the Vala situation, and they had nothing to show for it. Well, nothing but a newly-defected commander from the Ori army. Who was Vala's ex-husband.

Yeah, the Ark of Truth problem was definitely the one he wanted to deal with right now. After they reported to Landry he would shower and change, drink an entire pot of coffee, and get to work figuring out where they should look next, while also keeping an eye out for other possible solutions.

Vala felt a headache coming on as she tried to watch Tomin without actually watching him. She was glad he'd finally accepted the truth about the Ori, and she hoped he had information they could use, but his presence at the SGC was a complication she would really rather do without at the moment. Tomin was not an innocent, not anymore, but when she looked at him she couldn't help but see him as he was when they first met, sweet and caring and kind, someone of whom she felt protective in ways that didn't make sense but that she couldn't seem to turn off. She both wanted to be as far from Tomin as possible and to stick as close to him as she could through this whole thing.

Both those options made it far too obvious that Tomin still had an effect on her, and that wasn't anyone's business. _Except Daniel's_ , she thought before she could stop herself.

This day had become far more complicated than it had any right to be. She needed the longest, hottest shower of her life, a mochaccino, a glass of wine, and a trashy romance novel, and she needed them _now_.

SG-1 was silent as they trooped up to the conference room for their initial debrief with Landry, grim and discouraged and still covered in dirt and sweat from the planet.

"So you didn't find it," Landry said, once they were all seated.

"No, sir," Mitchell answered evenly.

"Do you think it's there and you just didn't have enough time before you were . . . interrupted?" This question was directed at Daniel.

"I really doubt it, but I suppose it's possible," Daniel told him, trying to keep the exhaustion from his voice.

"Right. And what about this Tomin? Is he a true defector?"

"Yes," Vala said when they all looked to her. "I don't think he's ever been entirely comfortable with what he was asked to do in the name of the Ori, and he didn't even try to deny the implications of what we did to the Prior. I think he'll help us if he can." She hesitated, swallowed, then continued. "I know I've no right to ask this, but . . . I don't think being harsh with him will get us anywhere. I think if we treat him more as a . . . a guest, than a prisoner, and maybe if Daniel and I were the ones to explain--"

"No decision has been made," Landry interrupted. "But I'll take that under advisement. For now, I want you all to go get cleaned up and take a little down time while I decide what our next move is. Colonel Mitchell, I'll need your official mission report as soon as possible."

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Dismissed."

Daniel's ability to focus returned after his shower and first cup of coffee. Just as he was settling in for a proper brainstorming session on what to do next, Sam came in.

"I knew it," she said, her tone both triumphant and accusatory. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Knew what?"

"Landry told us to take a little down time," she reminded him.

"Sam, I don't think--"

"Uh-uh," she interrupted, dragging him to his feet. "You're coming with me."

"And where are we going?" he asked, admitting at least temporary defeat.

"Espresso machine," she informed him as she towed him out of his office, not relinquishing his arm until they were in the elevator.

"The coffee in my office was doing the job just fine. And aren't you the one who's always telling me to cut back?"

"Well, it doesn't have to be for you," she said brightly. Maybe too brightly.

"So, what, you just wanted company?" Daniel pressed, suddenly suspicious.

"Uh-huh," Sam answered, definitely not meeting his eyes.

"Sam."

The elevator doors opened on the mess level, and Sam made a quick exit, forcing Daniel to take take long strides to catch up with her. "Sam!" he repeated, swinging around to block her way.

Oh, yeah, there was her guilty look, the one that screamed "I think this is for your own good but you're not gonna like it."

"I just thought we could bring Vala a mochaccino, was all," she finally admitted.

Daniel sighed, closed his eyes, and rubbed his forehead. "And that requires my presence _why?_ " he asked before opening his eyes.

"Look, I don't know what's going on with you two, but the sooner you can at least admit that you're both happier and therefore more focused on your jobs when you're whatever currently passes for OK, the sooner I can stop playing go-between."

"Why, did she say something?" Daniel asked, dread twisting his stomach into knots.

"She doesn't have to. Look, Daniel, no one understands how . . . complicated . . . relationships, of whatever nature, with coworkers can be better than me, OK? And I mean it when I say you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. But would it really be the worst thing in the world if you brought her coffee and listened to the next chapter of whatever _Harry Potter_ book you're on before you went back to carrying the weight of the universe on your shoulders?"

Daniel ducked his head, staring at his shoes for a moment before looking at Sam through his lashes. "You really know me way too well, you know that?"

She smiled and linked her arm through his as they resumed walking down the corridor. "Someone around here has to."

 

Vala had just finished doing her hair when she heard the knock at her door. “Back to work already?” she asked when she found Daniel on the other side, holding two cups of coffee.

“No, not yet,” he said, offering her one of the cups. “Sam said you like these mochaccino things, though it’s just from the mess, so probably not as good as wherever you usually get them."

“Sam said, hmm?” she said, arching an eyebrow as she accepted the proffered coffee and stepped back so Daniel could come in.

“She seemed to be under the impression that a shower and a cup of coffee from the machine in my office wasn’t enough of a break for me,” Daniel told her wryly as he walked past her.

“How inconveniently thoughtful of her,” Vala teased, taking a drink from her coffee and closing the door.

“That’s basically what I said."

There was an awkward pause while they both sipped their coffee and didn’t quite look at each other.

“So, what now?” Vala finally asked, setting her cup on the coffee table and barely stopping herself from folding her arms in a self-protective gesture, instead changing the upward movement into grabbing the ends of her hair to play with.

Daniel set his cup down next to hers. He spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. "Can you just, I don't know, harass me into cuddling while we drink our coffee? Pretend like--"

"Like we didn’t just fail at what may have been our last best chance of defeating the Ori, and the defecting commander we’re hoping can give us useful intel isn't also my former husband, who now that I think about it might not quite be aware of the ‘former’ part? And he’s in the guest quarters, which honestly aren’t as far from here as I’d like?” she interrupted.

“We didn’t fail, we . . . suffered a minor set-back. Well, maybe not minor, but still just a set-back, and I’m not giving up on the Ark. And, with Tomin, I mean . . . does that . . . does him being here . . . "

"I don't know," she admitted quietly, cutting Daniel off before he could finish his question in any way that might make things more fraught than they already were, frustrated to find herself holding back tears. "I wish I did, but I don't."

"Come here," he said softly, opening his arms to her and folding her in a hug when she stepped into them, and for a moment it was all simple again, because no matter what else did or didn't happen, she could count on Daniel to hold her together when she started to fall apart. Except now it occurred to her to wonder who, exactly, held him together when he was the one who was fraying at the seams.

“For the record, what I was going to say was ‘pretend like things between us weren’t so damn complicated',” he said into her ear.

She snorted. “That, I can do."

“Knew I could count on you,” he murmured, and there was something in his voice that made Vala’s stomach flutter, and she stepped back, deciding it was time to end the hug before she did or even just thought something she shouldn’t.

“So,” she said briskly once they separated. “We have coffee to drink, and just last week I explained to you about my uncompromising stance on comfort."

“Yes you did,” Daniel said, kicking off his shoes, grabbing his coffee, and settling onto Vala’s couch. She picked up her cup and joined him, reclining against him like she had—how was it only one week ago?

They sipped their drinks in companionable silence.

"Daniel?” Vala asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah?"  
"We are going to stop them, aren't we? The Ori, I mean."  
He set his empty cup on the table, wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. "Yeah."  
She nestled against him. "Promise?"

He hesitated just a little too long.

She craned her neck around so she could look up at him, then settled against his chest once more. "I was afraid of that," she said softly, setting aside her own cup so she could rest her hands on his arms where they held her.

“I’m not giving up,” he reminded her. “None of us are."

“I know. It's just . . ."

"What?"

"Are you afraid?” she asked, staring straight ahead.

“Yeah."

“Me too. I can’t live like that again."

“I know."

"No, I mean I _can't_ \--"

" _I know_ ," he interrupted, tightening his arms around her at the note of hysteria in her voice. "But the thing is, I know you. And you won't give up either."

"Yes, well, you lot are a bad influence like that."

"Yeah, we are, but that's not how I know."

"What do you mean?" she asked, shifting so she could see him.

"You're a survivor, and in your own way, you don't give up either. You were like that when you hijacked the damn ship, and you're like that now. We didn't teach you that, we just helped you . . . redirect it a little." He smiled down at her.

"If you say so," she said, straightening out and resettling.

"I do."

"Well, then, we may out-stubborn them yet."

"Now you sound like Jack."

"You're just full of compliments today."

"Chalk it up to a stressful week of hard labor and not enough sleep. I'm sure I'll feel better in a few days."

Vala reached back and swatted his shoulder, and they sat in silence for a moment.

"I'm sorry, you know," she said, before she could think better of it. "About what I said. You know, right before the mission. I didn't, um. Well. I'm sorry."

Daniel looked down, but she was staring straight ahead, so all he could see was the top of her head. "Consider yourself forgiven. It's not like I didn't give you reason to be frustrated with me."

She hummed in agreement.

Before either of them could think of anything else to say, there was a knock at the door. Vala got to her feet, grumbling indistinctly as she went, and Daniel swung his legs off the couch.

It was Mitchell. "I just gave Landry my report, and after he looked it over he said you two have a go to start talking to Tomin. Assuming you're still up for it, that is."

"Why wouldn't I be?" Daniel heard Vala answer in her too-bright tone as he put his shoes on. He glanced up in time to see the skeptical look Mitchell gave her.

"If you say so. Good to go, Sunshine?" he called to Daniel.

"Yep," Daniel said, getting to his feet.

Mitchell walked with them to Tomin's quarters. "Have fun," he said in the half-sarcastic, half-skeptical tone he'd perfected in the last couple of years.

"Yeah," Daniel deadpanned.

"Just . . . give him a chance, OK?" Vala said, grabbing Daniel's arm and pulling him around to face her when they were still a short distance from the door, a note of pleading in her voice.

"Do you really think I'd do anything else?"

"Well, he did try to kill you that one time."

"Yes, but he actually shot _you_."

"Well, to give him some credit, I did get in the way."

Daniel glared. He'd actually, not forgotten, but shoved that particular incident far enough down that it was only now that he remembered it, which meant that he was going to have to resist a very powerful urge to find a way to bring it up. He wished Vala hadn't mentioned it, because it didn't exactly make the whole "give Tomin a chance" thing any easier. Anyone so willing to kill in the name of their gods, false or not, was someone of whom Daniel was wary, even if the willingness was born of brainwashing. Especially then, actually.

"Let's just get this over with," he finally said, and nodded to the guard, who knocked and then swiped them in when Tomin gave the go-ahead.

"Vala," Tomin said, striding forward, then hesitated when he saw Daniel. "Dr. Jackson. Come in. I suppose you're here to . . . actually, I expected someone more military. Why are you two here?"

"Just to talk, Tomin. You must have questions," Vala told him.

"Oh. Yes. But . . . I don't know where to begin."

Daniel and Vala exchanged glances.

"Why don't we start with what you do know," Vala suggested after a moment, walking further into the room and perching on the corner of the coffee table. The look Daniel gave her as he walked past her to lean against the desk across the room told her he at least suspected that she'd done so because it made it impossible for either man to sit next to her without being both too close and at an awkward angle.

Tomin, however, either didn't pick up on Vala's intentions or else chose to ignore them, because he sat in the chair that faced her corner of the coffee table and was only a few feet from it.

Well. She supposed they were meant to be making him comfortable, and it wasn't as though she hadn't pretended to enjoy a great deal more from people she liked a great deal less.

"The Ori clearly do not have the power we were taught to believe they do," Tomin began. "I suppose this means the story the Tau'ri have been spreading, that they are just power-hungry ascended beings, is the true one?"

Daniel and Vala both nodded.

"Still, what power they do have is real enough, and there are the Priors, and the armies. You can't convince everyone."

"Funny you should mention that," Vala said, raising her eyebrows at Daniel.

"Don't you think that's telling things a little out of order?" he pointed out.

"Right. In that case, I think it's your turn. I mean, I assume you want to tell him about the weapon, and that was rather your area, wasn't it?"

"I suppose," Daniel said slowly while Tomin glanced between them, confused, and Vala suddenly remembered the way Daniel had looked at her when she told him she couldn't let herself believe his story when he was a Prior. She was struck afresh by the horror of it, which came not from seeing the ghastly Prior paleness on Daniel's face, but from the hurt she'd had to inflict on him, hurt he couldn't quite hide behind the impassive expression he’d shown her.

She mentally shook herself, refocusing on the conversation at hand: wasn’t there a Tau’ri expression about milk that somehow applied? Anyway, this wasn’t the sort of distraction she could afford right now, not with Tomin sitting inches away looking so lost and confused and . . . dammit.

“Basically, several months ago we were able to build a weapon capable of destroying ascended beings. Adria—the Orici—took it because she wanted to use it against the Ancients—the ascended beings in this galaxy—but I was able to get it back and send it through the supergate,” Daniel explained. Vala couldn’t blame him for how much he left out, all things considered. “We don’t know for sure that it worked, but we’re reasonably confident."

When Tomin didn’t say anything, Vala picked up the thread of the story, “Of course, even with the Ori hopefully gone, their followers are still a problem. As long as the Priors and the armies believe, they’ll keep attacking, and people will keep being killed and enslaved. We can’t let that happen."

“Fortunately, we learned of the existence of an Ark that can make people believe whatever truth with which it’s programmed. The Alterans—that’s the Ancients before they ascended—built it specifically to stop the Ori, but then decided not to use it. We’ve been trying to find it so we can show the Ori’s forces that their gods are false and stop the bloodshed,” Daniel continued.

“We were looking for it when you found us on Dakara,” Vala concluded.

There was a pause. Tomin looked stricken. “The Ori are dead and gone,” he finally said, returning to an earlier point. Vala supposed she couldn’t blame him for fixating on the fact that the beings he’d spent his life worshiping as omnipotent gods had probably been destroyed.

Vala recognized that Daniel was very much in patient mode as he more or less repeated what he’d just told Tomin. "As we said, we don't exactly know for sure. We know we sent a weapon to the Ori galaxy that was supposed to be capable of destroying them."

Tomin stood up, turning away from both Daniel and Vala, and Vala suppressed a sigh of relief as he moved away from her. She supposed it _was_ a lot to take in, and shoved down the bitter thought that it wouldn’t have been as difficult if Tomin had just listened to her when she’d been in his charge during her brief captivity a few months ago.

Tomin paused in his movements. “But not those that worshiped them?” he asked, in reference to the probable destruction of the Ori.

“No, not humans. Just the ascended beings,” Daniel answered, speaking slowly and enunciating clearly.

Vala could hear his patience beginning to fray, so she jumped in to remind both men of the urgency of the situation. “I know it sounds complicated, but the point is, unless _we_ stop it, this holy crusade in the name of the Ori could end in a bloody mess for all humans."

“A _futile_ bloody mess,” Daniel added. Right. As if he would forget even for a moment what was at stake.

Tomin, arms folded, did not turn to face them as he spoke, although he didn’t turn his back entirely. “And your hope is that this Ark will convince those that still believe in the Ori to stop believing as they do?"

“In Ancient it’s called ‘armeria verimas.’ Now, loosely translated, it means ‘the Ark of _Truth_ ’,” Daniel explained.

Tomin turned towards him, arms still folded. “I know I have no right to say this; it just seems wrong."

“Hey, I’m not saying it’s right,” Daniel admitted, not at all enjoying the somewhat increased respect he felt for Tomin when the other man noticed the suspect morality of using the Ark. He sighed. “Obviously, the Alterans didn’t think it was morally right to use it, or we wouldn’t be in this situation."

“But compared to the bloodshed we may be facing . . .” Vala added. She admired Daniel’s respect for intellectual freedom, but for her this was simple: no price was too high for preventing the enslavement of the galaxy, especially not when they were finally free of the Goa’uld.

“We think the Ark may be capable of brainwashing people to believe whatever it’s programmed to make them believe,” Daniel reminded Tomin.

Tomin gave a small nod. “But how did you know where to look?” he asked.

Vala couldn’t resist shooting Daniel a look as she answered. “We didn’t."

Daniel looked at her, rather than Tomin, when he said, “That chest we found was obviously not the Ark."

“But still, you must’ve had some idea,” Tomin pressed when Daniel turned back to him.

Daniel glanced at Vala, and when she nodded, he explained about his vision. “I’ve had the vision several times,” he concluded.

When Tomin continued to look skeptical, Vala jumped in: “Daniel shared his mind with a former Alteran named Merlin for a short time.” She allowed her awareness of how far-fetched it all sounded seep into her tone, hoping that would help convince Tomin.

While Daniel explained a little more about Merlin and how he helped build the anti-Ori weapon, Tomin sank into the chair by the desk Daniel was perched on, looking overwhelmed.

“We hope,” Vala added in reference to their assumption that Merlin was behind Daniel’s vision, reminded of her own skepticism about the whole thing. “We think these visions might be remnants of Merlin’s memories left behind to intentionally steer us in the direction of the Ark."

She couldn’t blame Tomin for laughing. “And you think I’m crazy for believing in the Ori?"

“Not crazy, Tomin. Just . . . wrong,” she told him. It was the truth, after all. Well, part of it: no need to add the bit about how terrifying she’d found his zealotry.

Tomin glanced at Daniel, then suddenly leaned forward in his chair and looked intently at Vala as he asked, “You’ve both read the Book of Origin, have you not?"

“Yes,” Daniel answered simply, nodding.

“Do you not remember the part about Ortus Mallum?"

“You’ll have to forgive me, I don’t know it by heart,” Daniel said diplomatically.

“Oh, big book with fine print and not many pictures,” Vala told Tomin honestly, shrugging, refusing to apologize for the disdain she felt towards everything to do with Origin.

Daniel shot her an exasperated look, and she barely stopped herself from sticking her tongue out at him.

“Ortus Mallum is the birthplace of all evil,” Tomin explained, looking at Daniel. “The passage speaks of a mountain that erupts and buries the place where all evil once sprang forth. I only ask because you mention a mountain that explodes in your vision."

Daniel and Vala both leaned forward.

“Do you know where Ortus Mallum is?” Daniel asked, trying to keep the desperate eagerness from his voice.

“I’m sorry, I do not,” Tomin admitted. “Honestly, I did not even believe it was necessary for it to be a real place. The story still has—had—meaning even if it did not tell of a literal, historical event. But, after what you have told me, it could be that it is real, and is a place where these Alterans lived and worked before they fled the Ori galaxy, could it not?"

Once again, Daniel felt grudging respect for Tomin. “I’d go so far as to say it’s likely."

“Or at the very least, the best lead we have,” Vala couldn’t help amending.

Daniel shot her another of his narrow-eyed looks, and she shrugged at him.

“Well, I’d better go tell General Landry that we need to go to the Ori galaxy before Sam comes up with a way to blow up the supergate,” Daniel said, standing up from the desk. “You coming?” he asked, turning to Vala.

“Oh. Umm—"

“If you do not mind, I would like to speak with you a moment,” Tomin cut in before Vala could diplomatically make her escape. She very deliberately did _not_ look at Daniel.

“Sure. Why not,” she said, standing, hoping that Daniel picked up on her _you’ll-pay-for-this-later_ tone and Tomin did not.

“I wanted to apologize,” Tomin said, once Daniel left.

“What for?” Vala crossed her arms and stared at him levelly.

“I’m not sure I’d know where to begin."

“Right,” she said, turning to leave.

“No, Vala, please wait,” he said, coming towards her and reaching out as if to grab her shoulder, but thinking better of it at the last minute.

She turned and glared at him.

“I can never make up for what I’ve done. I know that. But I can help. You will go to the Ori galaxy, won’t you? You and Dr. Jackson and the others?"

Vala nodded.

“Let me come with you. I might be able to help. You’ll need to make contact with the anti-Ori movement. You’ll need someone who knows the galaxy."

“Tomin, before the crusade started you’d never left your home village."

“Before, yes. But as a commander—"

“As a commander, what makes you think you can find anyone from the anti-Ori underground?"

“Do you have so little faith in me?"

“I think you’re much too honest for this sort of thing. I understand that you want to help—"

“Vala. Please. You said yourself how vital stopping the Priors and the armies is. Surely, if there’s even a chance I could be useful—"

“All right, all right, I see your point. I’ll talk to them. It’s not my decision, but I’ll talk to them."

“Thank you. Vala—"

“I need to go. Like you just reminded me, this is urgent."

“Tell them I can get them to a planet with definite anti-Ori activity. I know where it is, I can help translate its location into whatever navigation system the Tau’ri ships use."

“That will be useful,” she admitted, and fled.

She met Teal’c in a corridor, going the other way. “Teal’c. Where are you off to?”

“When I learned that a representative from the IOA would be interrogating Tomin, I asked to be present when the time came. Mr. Marrick is ready now. I go to accompany Tomin to the interrogation room. Do you not wish to join us?”

“No, Teal’c I really . . . I just can’t, all right?”

Teal’c nodded gravely.

“Oh, but listen. Have you seen Daniel?”

“I have not.”

“Well, we’ve just learned from Tomin that the Alterans didn’t take the Ark with them when they came here, which means it’s still in the Ori galaxy. There’s a story in the Book of Origin with an exploding mountain in it, so if we can figure out where that’s meant to be, that’s probably where the Ark is. Tomin wants to come with us when we go—he says he can help us navigate, help us find the people most likely to know where what we’re looking for is. Whether he can actually help or not, I do believe that he believes it. Something to keep in mind when they question him.”

“Indeed.”

Vala looked up at Teal’c. “You think you understand him, don’t you Muscles? You think he’s like you.”

“Do you disagree that there are similarities?”

“Daniel told me you were married once. Could anything ever have induced you to hit her? Or to leave her exposed to the elements for days without food or water?” She knew she shouldn’t be saying this, but she was so tired. Not in-need-of-sleep tired—though there was that, too—but soul-tired.

“I never did those things, no, but I did abandon her and our son because I believed it was best for them, and because I thought that in doing so I would be better able to bring freedom to all Jaffa. When one lives under the oppression of false gods, it is impossible to say what one will or will not do.”

Vala stared at him. Teal’c. Her friend and comrade. As good as admitting that he and Tomin were the same. “I have to go,” she whispered, and hurried off down the corridor, needing to be somewhere else, anywhere else.

She found Daniel, Sam, and General Landry in the conference room, and told them what Tomin had told her. The way Daniel was looking at her, she was sure she was doing a very poor job of hiding how drained and upset she was.

Maybe that was why, after the general dismissed her, she made her way to Daniel’s office instead of her quarters. Because Daniel always knew. Because Daniel was too-strong coffee and thinking boring things were interesting and endless compassion that she was beginning to realize was at least as pain-born as her own.

Because Daniel hadn’t even liked her then, but he’d screamed and screamed and screamed when they burned her, and when she woke up to life he’d been there with his arms around her and tears in his eyes and gentle hands that just wanted to make sure she was OK.

Because even though Daniel made so little sense, he was so very solidly _there_.

So she wandered around his office, touching things she probably shouldn’t, taking comfort in the Daniel-ness of it all. She paused at his desk and picked up the picture of Sha’re, really looking at it for the first time. “I think you and I might have a lot more in common than I ever thought we would,” she told the woman in the picture. “You must have been a force to be reckoned with, to be able to keep up with him. I bet we could’ve been friends. I bet you’re better than I ever was. Makes it that much more cruel that I was the one someone saved, and you were the one who died. I’ll never stop making the Goa’uld answer for that. For everything.”

She put the picture back down and brushed the tears from her eyes before they could fall. The rage she felt against the remaining Goa’uld wasn’t going to matter if they couldn’t stop the Ori. She sat at Daniel’s work table and buried her face in her hands. The Goa’uld chose her, then the Ori. Why did they always choose her? Not that she would wish what she’d been through on anyone else, but still . . .

“Vala?”

She hadn’t heard him come in. That was a bad sign. He’d seen her sitting there like this, and the fact that he was closing the door meant she wasn’t going to get away with some lie about a headache, because he knew. Daniel always knew.

Maybe that was why she did what she did.

Because what she did was stand up, stride over to him, and kiss him with all the desperation she was feeling.

Daniel thought maybe he should have known to expect the unexpected when Vala was upset, and she’d been upset ever since they went to Tomin’s room to talk to him, and had clearly been getting more upset since. Still, the kiss was a surprise.

Whether it was more or less of a surprise than that he kissed her back because he _wanted_ to, that he wasn’t sure of.

Also this was a terrible idea.

“Vala,” he murmured, gently pushing her face a few inches back from his but keeping his hands where they were, cupping her cheeks, “this is a bad idea.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” she said, and pulled him back to her in a way that was so fierce and desperate he couldn’t help but respond, just for a moment.

“ _Vala_.” This time he moved his hands down to her shoulders and stepped back until she was at arm’s length. “Things are . . . don’t you think everything’s too complicated right now? I want to help you, but this . . .” he couldn’t finish, because she was looking at him, her eyes round and wet, and he wasn’t sure exactly why she was hurting so much, just that she was and he _needed to make it stop_.

“Then make it not complicated. It can be complicated again when we leave this room, but right now, this moment, make it not complicated,” she said. “You’re you, you compartmentalize the hell out of everything, so please, just this once—“

Vala stopped talking because Daniel, eyes blazing, was backing her up until she was leaning up against the work table, and then his hands were on her face and he was kissing her and his leg was pressed up between her legs and she clung to him because Daniel was always there for her in the end. Always.

She groaned in protest when he took his leg away, but then she felt him reaching to undo her pants, and he whispered in her ear, “May I?”

She nodded against his cheek and gasped out, “Please,” and once her pants were undone he wrapped one arm around her for extra support and she widened her stance while he reached down with his other hand, and she clung to his shoulders and muffled her cries in his neck and lost herself in the waves of pleasure.

 

“You good?” Daniel asked after he kissed her through her aftershocks.

“Mmm-hmm,” she told him, refusing to think about anything other than how blissed-out she felt. Daniel withdrew his hand and started to turn away. “Wait, what about you?” she asked, not letting him go.

“I’m good,” he said, kissed her cheek, and went to wash his hands. Vala redid her pants, straightened her clothes, fixed her hair as best she could, then hauled herself up so she was sitting on, rather than leaning against, the work table.

“Feel better?” Daniel asked, coming to lean against the table next to her.

“For the moment,” she said, smiling down at him. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

“Just because it’s not something I’m often interested in doesn’t mean I’m not good at it,” Daniel said, smirking. She kicked him lightly.

“So what now?” Vala asked. “You’ve indulged me in a few minutes of uncomplicated physicality, but, well.” She stared straight ahead as she spoke.

"You call that uncomplicated?"

She looked down at her lap, twisting her hands. "Not really. I wanted it to be, but, as we've discussed before, that doesn't make it so."

"Look at you being all honest and frank."

"Shut up. And if we're going to bring up unusual behavior, let's talk about what just happened, because I seem to recall you making it very clear that you don't do that sort of thing."

"I don't," he said, meeting her eyes. "Hence the inaccuracy of 'uncomplicated'."

Oh. "Right. So where does that leave us?"

"The hell if I know. I mean, there's still all those things that I think are causing both of us kind of a lot of stress just now. Ori armies. The Ark." He hesitated, then, since they were being honest, added, "Tomin."

Vala closed her eyes. Daniel didn't miss much when he bothered to try. She opened her eyes, grabbed his hands, and pulled him around so he was standing in front of her, then wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Daniel glanced very pointedly down at her arms, then back up at her, and raised his eyebrows. “This doesn't really answer the question at hand.”

“No, but it is nice,” Vala said, tugging him closer. “Don’t you think it’s nice?”

Daniel sighed and rested his forehead against hers, sliding his arms around her waist. “Kinda part of the problem,” he admitted, eyes closed, and kissed her.

Moments later, they were interrupted by the ringing of Daniel’s office phone. “This is starting to be a thing,” Vala complained as Daniel broke their embrace to go answer it. “I don’t think I like it.”

“Yes, sir, I’ll be right up,” Daniel said into the phone, and hung up. “That was Landry,” he told Vala. “I need to go talk to him and Marrick in Landry’s office. I’m sure you could come if you want.”

“I’m not so sure that’s such a good idea,” Vala said. “I think I’d better go to my quarters, see if I can find some equilibrium.”

“I thought you said you were feeling better,” Daniel said, all concern.

“Better isn’t the same as equilibrium,” she pointed out.

“True,” Daniel agreed with a chuckle. “Maybe, uh, for the sake of your equilibrium, and for that matter avoiding further complications, we should avoid—“

“Being in rooms with lockable doors and no supervision?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re probably right. And you know how much I hate that.”

Daniel opened the door. “I gotta go.”

Vala waved. “Don’t worry, I’ll see myself out.”


	10. Focus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to chocolatequeen for the beta on this chapter! And thanks to all of you who are sticking with this story!

Avoiding each other, or rather avoiding the complications of togetherness, during the journey to the Ori galaxy was much less easy than it was on Dakara. Since neither of them had duties related to flying the ship, Daniel and Vala were left to their own devices.

Vala would have decided "to hell with it" and sought Daniel out anyway, except that he was spending a lot of time with Tomin trying to figure out if there were any other clues to the Ark’s location in the Book of Origin, or even just stories Tomin knew. For one thing, she didn’t think she’d be much use in their search, and for another, "in a room with just Daniel and Tomin" was very low on her list of places she wanted to be at the moment.

She hated how being around Tomin made her feel, how she could never forget his kindness and courage or banish the fondness she felt for him. Surely there was something wrong with her? After all, he’d also left her exposed to the elements for days while she was pregnant, he’d zealously joined the Ori army, he’d shot her when he was trying to kill Daniel, and he’d yelled at her and hit her when trying to convert her. What kind of person thought _fondly_  of someone who did that to them? This was the kind of thing she would normally try to talk to Sam about, but of course Sam was busy with the ship and whatever else the military types were always running around doing. And they were in space, so she couldn’t even search the Tau’ri Internet and see what some of their experts on human behavior might have to say on the subject.

So Vala brooded, because she just couldn’t stop herself.

Daniel was grateful that he could spend the flight throwing himself at the problem of the Ark’s location once more. He wasn’t exactly thrilled that that meant spending a lot of time with Tomin, but he’d endured far less pleasant things for the sake of a mission. He actually kind of wished that Tomin was worse company than he was, but Daniel found himself thinking grudgingly that Tomin and Teal’c had a lot in common in their journeys away from false gods. After all, just because the atrocities Teal’c participated in took place before Daniel knew him didn’t mean they hadn’t happened, and it wasn’t like Teal’c had been husband of the year to Drey’auc. On the other hand, there was maybe (probably) stuff Daniel didn't know about, especially where Vala was concerned, and just because there were some similarities between Tomin and Teal'c didn't mean Tomin should automatically get the benefit of the doubt.

Daniel knew Vala didn't have to tell him anything she didn't want to, that ultimately it was none of his business; but at the same time, he wanted it to be. He wanted to know whether it was OK to let his tendency to see the best in people take over, or whether he should nurture that part of himself that he liked to blame on Jack and Sam and Teal'c's influence, the part that kind of wanted to punch Tomin in the face for his past sins.

It wasn't his fight, but he wanted it to be, wanted to find reasons for it to be. He wanted to save her, or at least help her get justice, except that was a very dangerous thought with very dangerous implications and connections that he really couldn't afford to deal with right now.

Daniel wondered how much longer his old trick of focusing on the job at hand was actually going to work. Long enough to at least get through this mission, hopefully.

 

The initial foray into making contact with the anti-Ori underground went off without a hitch. Well, mostly. Vala was worried about what sort of not-Daniel forces were still running around in Daniel's brain, causing him to see significance in some old local man out with his friends. She was also less than thrilled to get definitive confirmation that Tomin thought they were still married, and very much couldn't afford to deal with how pleasantly flustered Daniel's smile made her.

For his part, though it was relatively easy to shunt to the side in favor of focusing on the mission, Daniel couldn't help but be much more aware of the cut of Vala's dress than he usually was of such things. Fortunately, the vision of Merlin and conversation with Hertis gave him all the excuse he needed to eliminate the risk of staring. Not that he would have. It was just . . . Damn it.

 

Vala sighed, relieved, as she changed out of the dress she'd worn so they would blend in on the planet and into her SG-1 uniform. It wasn't that she didn't like the dress, because she did. It was more that, when she was in her uniform, she knew what she was and where she stood, more or less. She was Vala Mal Doran, member of SG-1, and they were here to save humanity.

She pulled a hair tie with plastic baubles on it from her pocket and went to the mirror to put it in her hair, adding a clip with flowers on it as well. She was Vala Mal Doran, and she would put cutesy things in her hair because she damn well felt like it.

These were things she chose, not of necessity or survival, but because she wanted them, had earned them, even.

She hung up the dress with the other clothes kept on hand for under cover work. Maybe that was why it was a relief to take it off--the dress was a costume, and costumes meant pretending. Fun in the short term, exhausting and destructive in the long term. She wasn't herself in that dress, or in clothes like it.

The person Tomin thought he cared for, thought he was still married to, had never been her. Part of her, maybe, but there was so much more. SG-1 knew the good and bad parts of the "more," and let her join anyway. Wanted her to, even.

Frivolous hair baubles and all.

"Hey, Princess, we're waitin' on ya," Cam's voice came over her radio. She smiled and left the locker room. Uniform for SG-1, weapon for safety, hair baubles for herself. This was the armor she liked best, the version of herself that came closest to fitting. This Vala could handle anything. Probably.

 

Scans of Celestis revealed a wooded, mountainous area full of what looked like old ruins, which was about as promising a lead as they could hope for, so that's where they beamed down. “Any idea where to start?” Mitchell asked as they all looked around, hoping to spot further signs that would lead them to the Ark.

“Not really,” Daniel admitted.

Mitchell chose a direction and began walking. Tomin chose another, and Sam followed Mitchell.

Vala had taken charge of one of the scanners--the week of hard labor on Dakara had been more than enough for her, so she was determined to restrict her contribution on this leg of the mission to scanning for energy readings. She knew that Tomin couldn't make her do anything she didn't want to, so, to further her goal of avoiding manual gruntwork, she followed him instead of sticking with Daniel.

Not that that was the only reason, but that was on the list of things she wasn't thinking about right now.

Daniel shoved down the disappointment he felt when Vala opted to go with Tomin. It was probably for the best--he needed all his focus if they were going to have any chance of finding anything significant amidst the scattered tumbles of rock that had, millions of years ago, been Alteran structures. Once he started thinking about that as he wandered from one to another, looking for signs that he should try digging, it was easy to contemplate how much he wished these ruins weren't at the very heart of enemy territory, because there was so much they might learn from them with a proper expedition.

He very deliberately chose that rabbit trail for his mind to wander down, rather than the adjacent one about what had happened the last two times he'd tried to join an expedition in another galaxy.

Vala meandered from tumbled pile of rock to large moss-covered slab, wielding her scanner, while Tomin went ahead of her, occasionally poking at things with his shovel but not finding anything promising enough to warrant serious digging. As she walked, she wondered whether this might not be a good time to have a bit of a talk with him.

It was then that she noticed he'd come to a halt and was staring off at the nearby mountains. She joined him, also staring at the mountains. "You OK?" she asked.

"I was thinking about what this place really was," he answered.

She glanced at him, then stared straight ahead again. The silence began to feel awkward, but she was determined not to be the one to break it, not when he still hadn't apologized for slapping her in the face the last time they were alone and she confronted him about his beliefs.

He started poking at what looked like the remains of a wall with his shovel. She held out her scanner and was about to turn away from him to walk along it when he spoke, "I don't expect sympathy from you. Not anymore. Not after everything I've done. But I would like to know whether any of it was true."

Vala stopped. "Any of what?" she asked, putting the scanner away and crossing her arms as she turned to face him.

"You told me you loved me, that there were real moments between us. Was it true, or were you just trying to survive, trying to save your friends and the people in the village?"

She bit her lip. "It isn't that straightforward."

"Why not?"

"I can't be the thing you hang onto while all the rest of it comes crashing down, Tomin. Your relationship with Origin isn't simple anymore. Your relationship with me never was."

"I'm beginning to see that. It's why I want to understand. Please." He had stopped poking around with his shovel and just stood facing her, all earnestness and innocence. Well, not really innocence, but only because she knew better.

"I genuinely enjoyed parts of our time together. I really did find you sweet and good, and it broke my heart to see you so eager to become a mass-murdering soldier. But I never loved you, not like that. It was a lie I told, to you and maybe even a little to myself, to make it all easier, because you can't even begin to imagine what it was like for me. You don't know me, Tomin. To be fair, maybe I don't know you, either, but that's not really the point I'm trying to make."

"You no longer consider us married."

"No. If there's a ceremony or something that would make that real for you, I'm willing to do it, at least as long as fire isn't involved."

"No, you don't need to do anything. I suppose I hoped . . . well, it doesn't matter. As you said, I don't really know you. Though I like to think I knew a part of you. The part that enjoys pretty things and turning bread making into a chance to practice the drums."

Vala couldn't help but smile at that.

"I really am sorry. For everything," Tomin told her quietly.

"I know. And if I ever forgive you, it might even be partially for your sake, instead of just mine." After a brief silence--she was glad he didn't try to say anything--Vala pointed out that they should resume their search, so they began to loop around back towards the others.

 

Daniel had found a place he thought was actually worth the effort of digging when he was interrupted by Mitchell. “Jackson, Teal’c, we gotta go. Keep looking."

"What's wrong?" Daniel called back, turning back towards Mitchell as Teal'c, who held the scanner as Daniel dug, did the same.

"Marrick's up to something: he's turned on the Asgard core," Sam informed him.

Shit. "That will alert the Ori ships to our presence," Teal'c pointed out, somewhat needlessly.

"Yeah, I think that's the idea. We got it. You guys . . . find the Ark," Mitchell said, sounding exasperated by the end. Daniel couldn't blame him--this mission was fraught enough without this sort of complication. Hopefully it was easily resolved.

He and Teal'c went back to digging and scanning. It wasn't long, however, before Daniel gave up on that particular site and wandered off in a new direction, waving Teal'c off as he did so. He really hated not knowing exactly what he was looking for. Well, no, that wasn't entirely true: he hated not knowing exactly what he was looking for when the fate of two galaxies depended on them finding that specific thing as quickly as possible, and he was the one with the expertise that was supposed to expedite that process. If this was a normal expedition, he would love not knowing what each bit of ruin was, or what wealth of knowledge about the past was waiting under it; he would love the way pieces of the puzzle he didn't have a picture for would fall unexpectedly and satisfyingly into place.

But this wasn't a normal expedition, and there was too much ground to cover and too few people working and too little time and they needed more help, dammit!

He chose not to question that it was at that moment that he saw Merlin again. Well, he was pretty sure it wasn't actually Merlin, but whoever it was had been helpful so far, so he was rolling with it.

In the mean time, Vala and Tomin had made their way back. Tomin had found a spot to dig, but the enormity of their task was weighing on Vala. She approached Teal'c. “Well, I hate to be the downer at this party, but this is hopeless. I’m not getting any energy readings, so short of literally looking under every rock and stone on this mountain, I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do,” she told him.

Teal’c, however, was looking at something behind Vala. She turned to see what it was and saw Daniel, staring at . . . nothing. This was really getting worrying. Sure, the visions had been helpful so far, but she still had nightmares about the last time something Ancient messed with Daniel's mind, and remained unconvinced that finding the Ark was an acceptable trade-off for whatever the visions might be doing to him this time around.

She huffed a sigh. “Or we could wait for Daniel to have another one of his visions."

Daniel reached the rocks he'd been staring at, then turned back to the others. “Guys, I think there’s something here."

Vala closed her eyes briefly, reining in her instinct to start listing all the reasons this was probably a terrible idea, nodded, and went to see what Daniel found, followed by Teal’c and Tomin. Once they’d all joined him, Daniel approached the rectangular, moss-covered stone slab and tapped it with his shovel. The resulting noise sounded as though there was probably a hollow space beneath the rock. Finally, something definitive.

They found a gap in the slab, and Teal’c shoved it open, revealing that there was indeed a structure underneath, complete with stone steps. Daniel, Vala, and Teal’c peered in, turning on their flashlights to try to get a better look.

Daniel felt both relieved and excited: the visions were still steering him forward, and forward was always better than stalled. Even if forward meant going down into a possibly-unstable ruin that was probably older than any he'd explored to date. “I think we’re supposed to go down there,” he said. He went first, followed by Teal’c, then Vala, who was using the flashlight on her P90. Tomin brought up the rear.

They’d all reached the bottom of the stairs and were proceeding cautiously into the tunnel when Mitchell radioed them. “Hey, guys, this is Mitchell, we’re going to have to beam you aboard immediately."

“Wait, you can’t. Not yet,” Daniel answered, frustrated. They were finally getting somewhere, and now this.

“Yeah, well, Marrick activated the Asgard core, so we’re expecting Ori ships around here some time soon,” Mitchell told him, clearly dealing with exasperations of his own. “Plus, we have a little replicator problem, so we’re gonna jump into hyperspace to avoid the bad guys while we deal with it."

When Mitchell said the bit about a replicator problem, Daniel and Teal’c stopped and glanced at each other, not wanting to believe what they’d heard. “I’m sorry, did you say _replicator_  problem?” Daniel asked.

“Unfortunately, yes, I did." _Shit_.

Daniel turned to look back at Teal’c again, who blinked slowly and then glanced to the side.

Tomin and Vala had found bits of ruin on which to sit on opposite sides of the tunnel while Daniel and Mitchell talked. "What's a replicator?" Tomin asked into the tense silence that hung over them while they waited to be beamed aboard.

“You do not wish to know,” Teal’c told him.

Before Vala could comment on what an understatement that was, Mitchell came back on the radio. “Yeah, it’s me again, your friendly neighborhood ship’s commander. Uh, looks like you’ve got a little more time down there: we’re having a bit of trouble with the beaming thing at the moment.” There started to be a lot of static coming from his end, and his voice was much less clear. “I promise, you’ll be the first to know . . . “

There was nothing but static.

Daniel glanced around. No point worrying about the situation on the ship yet, since they couldn't do anything about it. What they could do was find the Ark. “OK, so. Onward."

Vala sighed and got to her feet. She was liking this mission less by the minute.

They proceeded down the debris-filled tunnel until they came to a dead end caused by a cave-in. Because of course there was. “Hmm. What do you think, Muscles?” Vala said to Teal’c as they all stared at it.

Teal’c pulled out some C4.

Seeing what he was doing, Daniel immediately began to protest: “Wait, wait, wait, we can’t! We don’t know how stable this tunnel is."

Teal’c turned to him. “Shall we turn back, then, Daniel Jackson?"

Damn. “Bombs away," he acquiesced.

Vala grinned to herself as she made her way back down the tunnel while Teal'c placed the C4.

Once they were all in relatively safe positions, Teal'c set off the explosives, and when the tunnel didn’t collapse, they went back towards the blockage to see whether they’d successfully gotten through.

Daniel was relieved to see that they had, and they began to climb carefully over the rubble into the next section of ruins, Teal’c leading the way this time.

Vala coughed, waving her hand in front of her face to try to clear some of the dust, and followed Daniel as he went to the left instead of going after Teal’c, who continued forward.

She was about to start complaining that the dust was probably going to make her sick, not to mention what it was doing to her hair, when Teal'c interrupted. “Daniel Jackson,” he called.

Daniel turned and approached, trying not to hope, not quite being able to help it. Teal'c removed some of the larger chunks of rubble from the top of the thing that had caught his eye, and Daniel's doubts vanished.

"This is it," he breathed.

"Oh, you're sure this time?" Vala asked, having come up behind him. She thought she had every right to be skeptical after Dakara.

"Definitely," Daniel said, ignoring her tone. "We found it."

Even though she still had reservations, Vala couldn't help but enjoy Daniel's enthusiasm and near-reverence as he and Teal'c finished unburying the Ark, though she could have done without all the dust he kicked up once the rubble was removed and he started first blowing on, then dusting the lid of the chest. In fact, as she leaned back in a futile attempt to avoid the swirling dust, she decided enough was enough. "Daniel, for goodness' sake, stop fussing and just open it."

Without waiting for him to respond, she grabbed the lid and did just that, right over the top of his protests: “Wait, wait wait!"

Nothing happened.

Daniel let Teal’c grab the lid and pull it the rest of the way open. The chest was empty aside from the complex-looking array in the bottom that there was no way Daniel was going to risk messing with.

"What was supposed to happen?" Tomin asked. Vala, unimpressed, coughed and waved her hand in front of her face as yet more dust floated into the air.

“Nothing,” Daniel said. “I don’t think it’s turned on."

“Maybe it’s broken,” Vala suggested, feeling pessimistic.

“Perhaps its power source has been depleted,” Teal’c pointed out.

“Well, it is millions of years old,” Vala reminded them, enjoying the look on Daniel's face despite the situation.

"I don't think it's turned on," Daniel repeated, glaring at her.

"Well, turn it on then," Vala said flippantly, meeting his eyes.

Daniel reached up and grabbed the lid, “I think," he carefully pulled it closed, “it has something to do with,” he began brushing the raised circular part on the lid's top, “these symbols. They look like buttons."

He tried pressing one, but just at that moment, there was a rather ominous rumbling noise from the surrounding ruins, and little bits of debris fell from the ceiling right on top of them.

“Perhaps we should examine it more closely on the surface,” Teal’c suggested.

“Good idea,” Vala said, heaving herself to her feet. The each grabbed a corner of the Ark and made their way back through the ruins with their prize.

Once they made it to the surface and set down the Ark, Teal’c tried to radio the ship while the others stretched. “ _Odyssey_ , this is Teal’c, come in."

While Teal’c waited for a response, Daniel dropped his pack and crouched down to examine the Ark some more. They'd actually found it. They actually had a chance now.

“ _Odyssey_ , this is Teal’c, come in."

Then there was the flash and _zip_  of weapons fire, and Teal’c went down.

“Teal’c!” Daniel screamed, but there was too much weapons fire and Teal’c was in the open in front of the Ark, and they couldn't get to him and he wasn't responding and how could everything go from the real possibility of victory to his friend wounded and unmoving and the enemy all around them so quickly?

Training and experience kicked in, and Daniel and Vala dropped down behind large stones on either side of the Ark and began to return fire with their P90s.

They glanced at Teal’c’s too-still form, then at each other.

Vala’s mind raced as she continued to fire. She wasn’t a military strategist she didn’t . . . oh. Right. Tomin. She dove towards his position and he, realizing what she was doing, made room for her.

“If we surrender, will they help Teal’c?” she yelled.

“I do not know. But what other choice is there?"

Daniel looked back at them, eyebrows raised, and Vala nodded. He grimaced but returned the gesture, then they both made a show of putting down their weapons. The Ori soldiers stopped shooting, and Daniel, Vala, and Tomin stood slowly, hands in the air.

“Please, help our friend,” Daniel said as the soldiers approached. “He’s hurt. We’re surrendering, but he needs help, he needs a doctor, please—“ he was cut off when a soldier backhanded him with a gauntleted fist, laying open his cheek and sending his glasses flying as he toppled to the ground.

“Hey!” Vala cried, trying to run to Daniel but pulled up short when several soldiers leveled their weapons at her.

“Please,” Daniel said from the ground, and the brokenness in his voice was worse than anything else that had happened that day as far as Vala was concerned. Well, except . . . “Please just help our friend, at least check to see whether—“ the same soldier who had hit Daniel kicked him in the ribs, and he doubled over where he lay.

“He’s just asking for help so our friend doesn’t die!” Vala yelled, tears of anger and frustration and fear forming in her eyes, sounding in her voice. The soldier looked right at her and kicked Daniel again, in the shoulder this time. He grunted in pain, and she understood without Tomin’s warning hand on her shoulder.

They were silent as they were taken aboard a transport, separated from one another by soldiers, tears trickling down Vala and Daniel’s cheeks.

The soldiers left Teal’c behind.


	11. Epiphany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to chocolatequeen for the beta!

Once they were in the transport, the soldiers patted them down, checking for hidden weapons.

“Hey!” Vala protested when they yanked out her hair baubles. “Those aren’t weapons!"

The soldier glared and drew back his arm, and then somehow Daniel was _there_  between her and the blow, adding  a cut lip to his list of injuries, and the soldiers’ commanding officer was yelling about keeping the prisoners apart and Vala felt like crying but she didn’t think it was for any of the reasons that made sense in that moment except it was probably also for all those reasons.

And then it got worse because the soldiers were deliberately rough with Daniel as they yanked him away from Vala, slamming him into the wall, and she wanted to yell at them to stop but then they’d either hurt Daniel more or hurt her, and the former was the last thing she wanted and the latter would make what he’d just done meaningless so she hugged herself and kept quiet, fighting to keep the tears in.

It was a short flight to the city, and in what seemed like no time they’d landed and were being escorted off the transport. Vala really hoped that the way Daniel sagged against his captors, as though he was barely able to support his own weight, was a way of trying to annoy them and get them to let down their guard, but she was worried that he actually was that badly injured.

They reached a fork in the corridor, and when Vala was taken left while Daniel and Tomin were taken right, it took everything in her not to protest. She tried to look over her shoulder, but one of the soldiers used her hair to yank her around so she faced front. Eventually they arrived at a cellblock, and the guards unlocked one and shoved Vala inside. Then they left, and she let herself sink to the floor, leaning against the wall right by the bars.

This was bad. It was really, really bad, but all she seemed to be able to think about was Daniel. Daniel beaten and bloody and between her and harm. She was alone now, so she buried her face in her arms and let the tears come. She cried because he was hurt and she didn’t know where he was and she hated being alone. She cried because they had found the Ark but now the Ori followers had it instead and she really, really couldn’t see how they were getting out of this one, which was why she needed to not be alone and most of all to be with Daniel because he didn’t give up and if the unthinkable happened and he did then she could argue with him about it and either way it wouldn’t feel like the end of everything anymore. And even though she tried really, really hard not to think about it, she cried because they’d left Teal’c lying on the forest floor after being shot in the back, and it was hard to imagine even Teal’c recovering from that.

She cried until she heard footsteps in the corridor. Not willing to give them the satisfaction of seeing her tears, she wiped her eyes, fluffed her hair, and sat up straighter.

Then the Prior entered her cell, his staff began to glow, and not giving them the satisfaction became much more difficult, because the pain that tore through her was like burning again, except it went on and on, wave after wave, and she reached out and gripped the bars of her cell because that was all there was, and just reminded herself over and over that she would not cry. They would not make her cry. She would not cry. They would not make her cry. Not where they could see.

But god, it hurt _so much_ , and after a while—she couldn’t have said how long, time was meaningless when she was burning—she thought she heard someone screaming, and she wanted to scream, too, but she knew she wasn’t going to even though she was starting to have a hard time remembering why.

She was burning, burning from the inside out, and it just went on and on and on, and the last time there was something good that came after, after it stopped. Something good. If she could just _think_  then maybe she could hold onto whatever that good thing was, but the pain was whiting out everything else. She knew that she knew things besides this pain, but she couldn’t access those things, there was nothing but pain and her certainty that she must not scream or cry.

Then, somewhere between eternity and no time at all, it stopped. Vala let go of the bars and sagged back against the wall, wincing at the pain in her hands from clenching hard for, well, long enough to hurt. But it was a different hurt from the burning, and she appreciated that.

She could think again, and she appreciated that even more. Or, well, she did for a moment, relieved to recover the knowledge of who she was and how she got there and that the good thing she’d been trying to remember had been waking up with Daniel’s arms around her, but then where she was and the direness of their circumstances also came back to her, and she sighed. Today was not her day.

Another Prior approached and entered the cell. The two Priors didn’t speak, but she thought maybe they communicated somehow, though she couldn’t be sure.

“Get up,” the one who’d been torturing her ordered.

“Why?” she asked, more because she really wasn’t sure that was something her body was currently capable of than because she thought they would answer. Everything hurt and her muscles felt watery and--

“It is not for you to question, but to obey. We will drag you if necessary."

“No, no, I’ve got it, just give me a moment.” She began to haul herself to her feet, grimacing. “You’ve only got yourselves to blame for how long this is taking, torturing me to near incapacitation and everything."

She was on her feet. Whether she would stay that way if she stopped leaning against the wall was another matter.

“You will come with us,” and with that they each took one of her arms and half led, half dragged her from the cell.

Vala hated that she had to lean on them as she walked, but she was weak and shaky with pain. The thought that had started to form when they first told her to get up finished taking shape: maybe they were taking her to where Daniel was, or at least bringing them both to the same place. She needed to see him, needed to know he was alive and not giving up.

But that just wasn’t the kind of day she was having, because the room they took her to was empty. Well, except for the Ori's fire and the Ark. So, empty of anything she was interested in seeing just then, or ever, in the case of the fire.

Why did it always have to be fire? And why did all their seeming victories have to turn hollow in the end?

The Priors bowed deeply before the flames.

“So much for the rumors,” Vala said, not expecting a response from the silent Priors, who turned and left.

Before she could wonder why or if she might use their absence to her advantage, the fire coalesced into an unfortunately familiar form.

Vala sighed and gave a little shake of her head in the vain hope that this was some sort of torture-induced hallucination, but no such luck. Things just got worse and worse.

Adria, flickering with flames, paced towards her around the Ark. When she spoke, her voice echoed strangely. “Good to see you, Mother. Or should I call you Vala? I believe you renounced our blood relation last time I saw you."

Adria was behind her, but Vala didn’t turn, instead shuffling forward to lean on the Ark—standing entirely on her own was still an issue. “Seems you have no blood left to speak of."

“You’ll be somewhat satisfied to know that Merlin’s weapon did work,” Adria said, continuing to circle.

Vala turned her head, refusing to look at at Adria, briefly closing her eyes at the pain that came with the movement.

“The Ori were destroyed,” Adria went on.

“Really?” Vala asked levelly, continuing to turn as Adria paced so that her back was now to the Ark on which she still leaned. But there was a noise, and suddenly Adria’s voice came from a different part of the room. Vala gave her head another little shake as Adria resumed her lecture after, well, teleporting probably. Because of course she could, being Ascended and all.

“Somehow, you and your simple human friends managed to destroy quite a large group of very powerful Ascended beings."

Vala didn’t bother to turn away from Adria this time. If Adria was teleporting, it clearly wasn’t worth the effort.

“Well, we’re a very determined bunch. I always say you never know what you can do until you try."

The teleporting noise again. “I agree."

“You don’t seem too cut up about it."

“No."

Another teleport. Adria was _showing off_.

“The energy transferred to the Ori by their human followers used to be spread out among many. Now that I have Ascended, I get it all."

Of course she did. What was that phrase Cassie taught her? _This is why we can’t have nice things_. “If you don’t kill us all first,” Vala pointed out, because she couldn’t help it. Something she’d picked up from Daniel, or her own will to survive, or more likely some combination of the two.

Teleport and pace, teleport and pace. Was Adria still hoping to impress her?

“It’s a shame I can’t use your little discovery to convince everyone in your galaxy to follow me. It would be much more humane.” Then Adria laughed and added, “Not as much fun, though," and Vala had to remind herself that just because she’d been forced to give birth to the physical form this creature once had didn’t mean it had anything to do with her or was in any way her responsibility.

“Not wanting to give you any ideas, but why can’t you use the Ark?” Keep the bad guy talking, that was, well, no, she still didn’t know whether that was her or Daniel, just that it seemed like a good idea. Not that there were any other options.

“It’s just not the same. People need to be convinced to see me for what I really am."

“A spoiled brat with a god complex?” That comment, at least, was all her, but she thought Daniel would’ve appreciated it if he’d been here to hear it.

“Now, Mother."

“The Ark can only be programmed to make people believe what is true.” Vala turned around as she spoke so she was facing Adria and the Ark again, and gripped its sides for support and emphasis.

“Once the Ancients have been destroyed, I will be a being of unchallengeable power, worshipped by all those beneath me.” For the first time, Adria stood still—had Vala finally struck a nerve? “A true god by any definition, wouldn’t you say?"

Vala slid her hands off the Ark, lifted them, and set them down again, staring Adria down. She stared back, smirking. Vala closed her eyes, tried to focus through the haze of pain and fear and failure. Having rallied, she reopened them and continued the conversation. “Why do you need to take on the Ancients? Seriously. How many human worshippers do you really need? Can’t you just live with what you have and be happy? I mean, my own mother used to say to me, ‘Vala, happiness is not something you can buy.’ Or in my case, steal.” Adria continued to stand still, so Vala left her position by the Ark and walked towards her as she talked. Maybe, just maybe, she could still get through to her. “But I think the point is—"

Adria cut her off. “They are a threat to me."

“From what I understand, they don’t even care about you. They saw the Ori as a threat and they did nothing about that."

“That’s what you chose to believe. They gave you the means to destroy the Ori. They’ll stop at nothing to destroy me. I will not rest until they are all wiped from existence."

Vala sighed, twisting her hands together. “I wish you hadn’t inherited my determination.” Remind Adria of the connection, keep pushing, maybe just maybe get through to her.

But Adria turned her head to the side as if looking at something Vala couldn’t see, transformed back into flames, and vanished.

Vala blinked, confused and drained. Then there was a noise from behind her, and when she turned, several of the symbols on the Ark’s lid were glowing. She took a step closer, staring. Then, with another sound, they disappeared. Vala glanced around, wondering if the source of Daniel’s visions was now visiting her, or if this was something else. She wasn’t an optimist, but considering how unlikely it was that things could get worse—she shoved down her uncertainty over Daniel and Tomin’s fates—she was inclined to treat this as actionable intelligence.

At the very least she was going to take advantage of the fact that she had, for the moment, been left alone and—she crept to the door and peered out—yes, unguarded. She made her way back through the corridors as quickly and stealthily as she could, doing her best to retrace the route to the cells, hoping Daniel and Tomin were being held not far from where she’d been. She remembered the screaming she was pretty sure she’d heard while she was being tortured. Assuming it had been real, it was a good sign that at least one of them was close by. She wanted more than anything to find Daniel first, to have a moment, just a moment to be with only him, to draw and offer strength in ways they couldn’t when others were present, but she thought it much more likely that, of the two, Tomin was the one who couldn’t stop himself from screaming.

She reached the intersection she was pretty sure was where the guards had separated her from her friends, and went in the direction they’d gone instead of towards her cell. She soon reached another cellblock, and was amused to find the keys just hanging on the wall, especially after all that fuss with her hair baubles. She walked down the block, peering into each cell until—there! A figure slumped on the bench.

Relief that she had found someone and disappointment that it wasn’t Daniel warred inside her as Vala tried key after key, finally getting the right one, and rushed into Tomin’s cell, sitting down next to him where he lay collapsed on his side.

“Tomin!” She urgently patted his shoulder when he didn’t stir. “Tomin, it’s Vala.” Still no response. “No, come on. Come on.” She put her arms around his shoulders and hauled him upright, a task made even harder by her own weakened state.

He was conscious, but looked awful. She took his arm. “Come here.” Then, because she was in pain and he was in pain and she could really use some friendly human contact and figured he probably could too, she put her hand on his face and did her best to comfort him. “Listen. Everything’s going to be OK, I promise."

He just looked at her, dazed, and, well, there really wasn’t time for this. “Can you pull yourself together?” He nodded, but then looked in danger of passing out again, so she lightly smacked his cheek. “Good. Now I want you to help me find Daniel.” She was past caring whether or not Tomin heard the unshed tears in her voice when she said that.

Then, soft and gentle from the door of the cell, Daniel’s voice: “I’m right here."

Vala whipped around, and when she saw that it really was him, looking like shit but standing on his own just inside the cell, she couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her, or the fact that she let go of Tomin and jumped back, just a little, because what must that have looked like to Daniel? Then she looked again and, yes, that really was _Teal’c_  standing just behind Daniel. She stared. Teal’c was alive and Daniel was here and something was clicking into place because she knew which of those two she should’ve been more excited about and which one she actually was and there was really only one explanation and talk about bad timing for finally admitting to herself that she was in love with Daniel.

“You guys OK?” Daniel asked.

Much better now that you’re here, was what Vala didn’t say.

“I don’t feel very good,” Tomin replied.

Daniel nodded. “Let’s find the Ark,” he said, sounding all hopeful and Daniel-like and Vala really wished Tomin and Teal’c weren’t there because she only needed five seconds for the thing she wanted to do but they were so she couldn’t.

Daniel came over and he and Vala helped Tomin to his feet and supported him on either side as they left the cell. With both their arms around Tomin’s back, Vala reached up with her hand and squeezed Daniel’s arm. He glanced over at her as they walked, and she hoped her eyes were saying everything she needed Daniel to know. Just in case.

“This way,” Vala told them when they reached the corridor.

“How do you know?” Daniel asked.

“Because I was just there. I think Adria wanted to have a good gloat about—"

“—getting all the energy from the Ori’s worshippers now that she’s the only one,” Daniel finished grimly.

“First of all, rude, second of all, how do _you_ know that?"

“While you were with Adria, I was having a little chat with Morgan Le Fey. She’s been around. We’re pretty sure she made sure Teal’c got here."

“So glad to see you alive, Muscles,” Vala said over her shoulder.

“Likewise,” Teal’c replied, grave as always.

“I think I can walk on my own now,” Tomin said. They paused, and Daniel and Vala carefully let him go. He leaned on the wall for a moment to steady himself, then nodded, and they continued, Daniel and Vala in front, then Tomin, with Teal’c bringing up the rear.

“So what happened?” Daniel asked.

“What?"

“Adria,” he said impatiently. “What happened with Adria?"

“Oh, yes. Well, as I said, lots of gloating, mostly, plus a bit of reminding me of my failures as a mother on the side."

“Vala—“ there was concern mixed in with the impatience, and Vala was once again frustrated that they were both in the middle of a mission and not alone.

“Yes, well, the really interesting bit came at the end. We were discussing why, exactly, she felt such a pressing need to destroy the Ancients, then she just suddenly disappeared somewhere as if she had something really important to do, and when I turned around about seven symbols on the Ark were glowing,” Vala finished explaining as she led the way into the room where the Ark was.

“It was Morgan,” Daniel told her.

“Is she helping? Because if she is, I don’t understand--"

“Which seven symbols?” Daniel asked.

“Um, well you don’t expect me to remember?"

“With-with the fate of two galaxies hanging in the balance, yes I expect you to remember the essential clue given to you by a powerful Ascended being!” Daniel told her, his speech rapid and annoyed.

“It’s not that it was glowing for that long,” Vala told him over the end of his sentence. “It was more like a bright light, and when I turned around, I realized I was alone and went to look for you—"

“Which ones?” Daniel demanded again, cutting off her rapid explanation.

“Um, one here, two here, two here, and two there,” Vala told him, gesturing to different parts of the circle of symbols as she did so.

Daniel looked exasperated. “Did they come in any order?"

“No, all at once."

He closed his eyes. “Of course."

“Someone is coming,” Teal’c informed them.

Daniel walked around the Ark to stand right next to Vala. “Uh, OK, seven symbols."

“Just make a guess,” Vala suggested.

“ _Verimas_  is, uh, ‘truth’ in Ancient."

“Good."

Daniel held up one finger, hesitating briefly, then began to touch the symbols.

“Two there,” Vala reminded him softly as he worked, pointing. She hummed with uncertainty when he finished: the lit ones didn’t look quite right. “I guess not,” she said when nothing happened and the symbols he’d touched stopped glowing.

Then the Doci came in.

Teal’c shot him with the staff weapon he’d acquired, but it had no effect and the Doci flung Teal'c across the room with a gesture. Then Tomin rushed the Doci and met the same fate, slamming into the wall.

The ring behind Daniel and Vala burst into flames, the Doci fell to his knees, and Daniel and Vala whipped around in time to see Adria form from the flames.

“It’s over,” she told them. “You can’t win. There is only one path: the power and glory of Origin."

As she spoke, Daniel got a look on his face Vala recognized, and he turned his head slightly towards her, his eyes going the rest of the way to catch hers. Once he knew she was looking, he slid his eyes towards Adria and back, and she narrowed her own in acknowledgement. Assuming she’d understood what he wanted her to do, anyway, but she was pretty sure she got the right message.

Vala turned and walked towards Adria. “Adria. I’m sorry. I wish things could’ve been different."

“Me too,” Adria said.

Teal’c, who had seen Daniel and Vala’s exchange, reached slowly for his staff weapon.

“So, what are you going to do?” Vala asked while Daniel quietly pushed buttons on the Ark. “We’re obviously never going to agree. Are you going to kill me now?"

Teal’c raised his weapon slowly off the floor, and, as Daniel finished the sequence, the red circle at the Ark’s pinnacle began to glow, too. Adria, seeing what was happening, sent Daniel hurtling across the room until he slammed into the wall and fell to the floor. Teal’c, prepared, shot the table the Ark rested on so that it fell forward. Vala ran to the side and crouched on the floor, unsure of what to expect as the Ark’s lid fell open in front of the Doci and a bright light streamed out, engulfing his head.

As soon as the light dispersed, Adria started yelling. “No! You can’t take away my power!"

Vala saw the expression the Doci’s face. “I think we just did."

Daniel clutched the shoulder that had slammed the wall hardest, watching and hoping.

“You will all burn in the fires of eternal damnation!” Adria shrieked.

Then Morgan Le Fey appeared, glowing white. “Not if I have anything to do with it."

“You’re no match for me,” Adria said, as though trying to convince herself.

Morgan smiled. “I am now."

Then they both turned into balls of light and flew at each other, pinwheeling in the middle of the room before they vanished as their battle reached another plane entirely.

“Mia clementia denar esto,” the Doci murmured from where he still knelt on the floor.

“What?” Vala asked, turning to Tomin, who was closest. “What did he say? I don’t understand."

“He said, ‘Have mercy,’” Tomin told her. “‘I was blind, but now I see.’"

The Doci fell forward, crying.

Daniel heaved himself to his feet and walked back towards the Ark, clutching his arm. “It was Origin,” he told them.

Vala stood as well. “What was?"

“Uh, the key word that activated the Ark. I realized while Adria was talking, the Ancient version of the word also means ’truth’ in older dialects. I guess the Alteran that built it must have thought it was ironic."

“You know I’m starting to think that irony is very overrated,” she told him.

Daniel glanced at her and nodded in agreement, rolling his eyes a little.

Tomin slid away from the wall to kneel next to the Doci, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder.

Vala walked over until she stood right next to Daniel and, hesitantly, reached out and touched his hand lightly with her own, maintaining the contact. “Are you all right?” she whispered.

He turned to her, a small smile on his face. “Well, I could definitely go for _not_  being slammed into any walls in the foreseeable future, but other than that I’m fine. Sorry for yelling at you a few minutes ago."

“Don’t worry about it—the situation was a bit on the urgent side."

“Yeah, but—"

“Daniel, I’m fine. Really. What happened earlier in the cells was . . . unpleasant, to say the least, but I don’t think it even makes my top ten worst things that have ever happened to me. And we’re all OK, and we’ve won. Or . . . Daniel, what about the others on the _Odyssey_?"

“Shit. I’ve been so focused . . . Hey, uh, Doci."

The Doci looked up.

“Morgan told me that your staffs connect you and all the Priors. Do any of them know what’s going on with the ship we came here on?"

Tomin helped the Doci to his feet. He closed his eyes, and his staff lit up; Daniel, Tomin, and Vala all flinched. After a moment the glow abated, and the Doci opened his eyes. “The ship was badly damaged but not destroyed. The Priors are attempting to convince your commander to allow them to assist with repairs, so that you may be on your way and bring this important truth to the armies in your home galaxy."

“Wait, what?” Daniel asked, alarmed.

“Our power only allows for communication within the same galaxy. You will need to show the Ark to a Prior in your galaxy in order to stop the armies there."

“Well, is there any way we can communicate with our people from here, tell them it’s not a trick? Because otherwise, I don’t think they’re going to let any Priors on board."

“Unfortunately, no. I am afraid you will just have to wait. You may also want to take the Ark outside—the citadel is warded against your beaming technology."

“Of _course_  it is."

Vala smiled and squeezed Daniel’s hand.

“I will show you the most expedient way to the exit,” the Doci offered.

“Thank you, Doci,” Tomin said as the four of them converged on the Ark, each taking a corner like they had when they brought it up from the ruins, and followed the Doci.

As soon as they set the Ark on the ground once they were outside, Vala sat down and reclined against it. “What?” she said in response to Daniel’s look. “It’s not like I’m sitting _on_  it."

He shook his head, but also sat down next to her, close enough that their shoulders touched. “Is that your good one or your bad one?” Vala asked, gently nudging his shoulder.

“The less bad one."

“Good.” She scooted closer and bumped her head against his shoulder in the familiar catlike gesture that meant she wanted him to put his arm around her. He obliged, and she sighed as she relaxed against him, and he felt some of his own tension dissipate.

“This is OK?” Vala asked. “You must be just covered in bruises, and I don’t want—"

“It’s fine,” he told her, then leaned his head against hers. “More than fine,” he added in a murmur. Sure, every inch of him was sore, and from a strictly physical comfort perspective the position was less than ideal, but there was something very soothing about having Vala _there_  that was more important than the ache in his shoulder and ribs.

Daniel glanced around. Tomin and the Doci were off to the side, talking quietly. Teal’c stood guard, still and silent. When he saw Daniel looking, he nodded in acknowledgement.

After a while, Vala’s breathing evened out and, incredibly, she fell asleep. Sitting in the quiet, nothing to do but wait for the _Odyssey_  to retrieve them, Daniel began to think about the last several hours. Only a short time ago, he’d been laying in a cell, devoid of all hope. Vala sighed in her sleep, and a wave of guilt crashed through him. He’d given up, declared that he was done, and where had she been? Talking to Adria, based on what she'd told him, but he hadn’t known that at the time. She’d still been a prisoner, and he’d just lay there, unwilling to try any more.

He’d failed her. She wouldn’t see it that way, of course, would never even know it had happened unless he told her, but he knew. And now the thing he’d been refusing to see, the thing that had been hovering around the edges of his awareness for weeks, could no longer be kept from the fore.

He loved her. He was _in_ love with her. And he’d failed her.

He should push her away, for her sake. Nothing but grief ever came to the people he fell in love with. It would be kinder, better for her in the long run.

Except that was some seriously patronizing, paternalistic bullshit and he knew it. He knew it, and she would know it because she knew about Sha’re.

They had won. They had the Ark, they’d shown this galaxy the truth, and Morgan had taken Adria out of the picture. Daniel knew he should be glad underneath the weariness; instead he was having trouble remembering the last time he’d hated himself this much. Well, more like trouble deciding which instance of self hatred this one most resembled: it was right up there with how he felt when Sha’re died, when Sarah was taken, when Janet died.

There was all of this to think on, but there was also the profound peace of holding Vala and knowing she was OK. God, he was a mess. The only thing the self-loathing and at-peace parts of himself could agree on at the moment was that he loved her, so that’s what he would focus on. Never mind the Ark, never mind victory, never mind his worry over the fate of everyone on the _Odyssey_ , right now he held the woman he loved in his arms, and she slept, because she trusted him.

“I always thought she was a picky sleeper, needed to have things just so,” Tomin said. Daniel started a little—he hadn’t noticed the other man’s approach.

“No,” he said tiredly, squinting up at Tomin.

“No what?"

“No, we are not having the kind of conversation this sounds like the beginning of."

“I didn’t—"

“Yes you did,” Daniel cut him off.

Tomin looked hard at him for a moment, then nodded and went to go stand by Teal’c.

“Thank you,” Vala murmured sleepily.

“You’re awake?"

“Not really—I probably won’t remember this. All the more reason to thank you now."

“You’re welcome.” He kissed the top of her head.

“Mmmm."

Her right arm was slung across her body. He reached out with his left and put his hand on hers, smiling in spite of himself when she turned her hand over to hold his.

Daniel closed his eyes. For however long it took until the _Odyssey_  arrived, he would let himself have this.

Breathing in unison, they drifted in and out of sleep, Teal’c watching over them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is almost done! Thanks to all of you who have stuck with the story and my glacial writing rate!


	12. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to chocolatequeen for the beta. I hope you all find this chapter as satisfying to read as it was to write. ;)

Daniel and Vala jolted awake, cracking their heads together in the process, at the sound of their radios squawking.

“Ow!” Vala said, rubbing her head and looking around. Daniel was blinking as though trying to get his eyes to focus, having perhaps temporarily forgotten that it was a lost cause without his glasses.

"Colonel Carter. It is good to hear your voice," Teal'c was saying into the radio.

“When did we get our radios back?” Vala whispered to Daniel.

“Shh!” he told her, jerking his head towards Teal’c, then flinching from the abrupt movement.

"It's good to hear from you, too, Teal'c. Are the others with you?" Sam spoke over the radio. Vala wondered what had happened to Mitchell. Oh, god, she hoped he was all right.

"We are all here, and we have the Ark," Teal'c told Sam.

"Great. Get ready to beam aboard, then we can swap stories."

Daniel and Vala helped each other to their feet as Daniel asked about the radios. “The Doci had them brought out for you,” Tomin explained as they took their places around the Ark and lifted it, waiting to be beamed out.

When they arrived on the ship, Vala couldn’t help but stare: she’d heard rumors of the havoc replicators could wreak, but she’d never seen it for herself.

“I’d say ‘problem’ was putting it a bit mildly, wouldn’t you?” Vala said to Daniel.

“The ship was reparable, which means we got off easy,” he told her.

“I think that must have sounded much more comforting in your head."

“Not really."

There was something off about him, she realized. She wanted to think it was just concern for Mitchell and the crew, but she knew Daniel too well for that by now: this sudden terseness was something else.

“Hey,” Sam greeted, arriving with some crew members, who immediately took charge of the Ark. “You all look a little worse for wear, so why don’t we talk on the way to the infirmary."

As they walked, Sam told them about Marrick and the replicators and Mitchell’s injuries, and Daniel filled her in on what had happened on their end. Vala listened carefully as Daniel talked, and was disturbed to note that, unless she was very much mistaken, Daniel sounded wearier and sadder now that he knew all his teammates were going to be OK than he had before their little nap leaning up against the Ark. What was that about?

The ship’s medical team was pretty swamped in the wake of the replicator attack, and Sam had to get back to working on repairs, so the four of them were left waiting until someone could attend to Daniel’s relatively minor injuries, make sure Teal’c was healing up the way he should be, and check that the torture hadn’t caused any internal damage to Daniel, Vala, and Tomin.

After having some much-needed water and power bars, Vala sat down and leaned against the wall. “Hey,” she called up to Daniel, who was still standing. “Come down here."

He smiled thinly. “No, thanks, I think I’ll stand for a while."

“Oh. OK, then.” But it didn’t feel OK. It didn’t feel OK at all. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, though she didn’t feel like sleep. She felt like thinking. Thinking and not talking to anyone who wasn’t Daniel or possibly Sam.

She thought back to that flash of clarity in Tomin’s cell, the realization that, for the first time in years, she definitely had romantic feelings for someone. So she was in love with Daniel. Well, of course she was—it was very obvious once she thought about it. At the very least it was the most logical explanation for how everything she felt for him got all tangled up in ways she wasn’t used to, to the point that sex meant something different than it usually did and the way she needed to be with him and know he was OK was different from when she felt that way about a friend. Not that she felt anyone could really blame her for taking so long to recognize the difference, since friends she cared for that deeply were a luxury she hadn’t been able to afford for a long time before she joined the Tau’ri.

She was in love with Daniel, and she wanted . . . what, exactly? That was more difficult. _You, me, possibly some form of us_. Daniel’s words echoed through her mind. Possibly some form of us. Yes. Yes, she wanted that. And he had, too. Had to have, or else he wouldn’t have brought it up.

But that was a week ago, and it had been a very long week. What if he’d changed his mind? Could they go back? It wasn’t as though what they were before had been particularly well-defined, and Daniel made it perfectly clear what others thought their closeness meant.

A nurse called Daniel in, and before too long more came for Teal’c, then Tomin, then Vala. Daniel had already departed for the showers by the time Vala took her seat on an exam table.

Once they cleared her, she made her own way to the showers and took a very long, very hot one that went a long way towards easing her aching body. After that, she thought about going to her quarters to sleep, but she really didn't want to be alone.

Daniel's quarters it was.

"Hey," he said listlessly when he opened the door. He was clean of the grime of the past day and there was a butterfly bandage over the cut on his cheek, but somehow he still looked terrible.

"Hey. Are you OK?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know you just seem--"

"Listen, Vala, I was trying to get some sleep, so if you could--"

"I don't want to stop you from doing that, in fact sleep sounds like an excellent idea, it's just that--"

"--go somewhere else and leave me to it." He finished, apparently undeterred by her interruption, then looked at her very pointedly.

It would be easy to leave--she was sure Sam could put her to work somewhere. But if she didn't start acting on what she now knew she felt, it would be too easy to get into the habit of ignoring it, and she might miss her only chance to have . . . something.

But _damn_ was vulnerability difficult, especially when, for whatever reason, Daniel had thrown up so many of his old walls. "Daniel, please, I don't think I can be alone right now. You can sleep, I won't bother you, I promise, I just . . . I just can't be alone."

Oh, god, she was looking at him and her eyes were big and pleading and there was a level of vulnerability to it she was asking _him_ to help her not be alone and half his instincts were telling him to put his arm around her and lead her into his quarters and the other half were screaming at him to push her away and she was standing there looking at him like they were in a Hugh Grant movie and he tried to tell himself it was just inertia when he stepped aside so she could come in, because this was kind of what they'd been doing for the past few weeks, right? So just habit and not an active decision based on his newly-acknowledged feelings.

Right?

"Thank you," she said, her hand on his arm, and surely he was imagining it, the way she seemed to be investing added meaning to the words and gesture?

She went and sat at his desk, folded her arms on top of a stack of books, and pillowed her head there. "Wait, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Sleep sounds like a good idea, and I don't want to bother you--"

"Since when?"

"What, I can't turn leaves?"

"The expression is 'turn over a new leaf.'"

"That makes no sense at all."

"Will you just come over here?" he said, exasperated.

"Why?"

"Umm, because we both want to sleep, and the bed's big enough for two, so there's no reason for you to be uncomfortable at the desk. I mean, isn't that a direct violation of your personal policy?"

She kicked off her shoes as she walked over to the bed. "New leaves, Daniel. New leaves."

"Fine, but I'm going on record as being highly suspicious about this," he said, laying down on top of the covers.

"And here I thought that was just a given," she teased, laying down next to him.

"I can admit I deserved that," he murmured. She bumped his shoulder with her own.

They lay on their sides, back to back, but as she began to settle and relax, Vala realized she would be a little too cold for comfort, and began to fidget, trying to work the blanket out from under her without getting up.

"What are you doing?" Daniel asked grumpily.

"I'm cold," she told him.

"Oh, for--" and he rolled over and draped his arm around her, pulling her snug against his chest. "That work?"

Vala swallowed before answering. "Yes, thank you."

"Just go to sleep."

It was easy after that, even though part of her wanted to stay awake and enjoy the cuddling. Yet another sign she'd missed: she was never more relaxed than when she was with Daniel.

Daniel thought about staying awake to argue with himself about what he was doing now and what he was going to do in the near future, but it was so much easier to exist in the neutral zone of knowing that he loved her, that she'd come to him when she needed comfort, that they were here and alive . . . he drifted off to sleep at about the same time Vala did.

 

The rumbling of Vala's stomach woke both of them several hours later.

"So, food then?" Daniel asked, rolling away from her and sitting up, putting on his spare pair of glasses as he did so.

"Excellent idea."

They retrieved their shoes and made their way to the mess. Once they'd loaded up their trays, they were pleasantly surprised to find Sam and Teal'c already at a table.

"You're both looking better," Sam said with a smile as they sat down.

"And you're taking a break, which means repairs must be going well," Daniel pointed out.

"Yep. Hyperdrive and shields are fully functional. Once we're back in the Milky Way, we'll drop you three and Tomin off at the nearest friendly planet with a gate so we can get the Ark back to Earth that much faster. Those with the worst injuries, too."

"Good idea. What's our ETA?" Daniel asked.

"A few more hours."

"How's your back, Teal'c?" Vala asked.

"Healing as it should."

"Glad to hear it."

"And you, Vala Mal Doran? You are well?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be? And _don't_ say because of Adria, because I'm tired of trying to get it through your thick male skulls that I was never attached to her." Sam reached out and touched Vala's hand.

"I referred only to the physical and emotional strain of the torture you endured, I can assure you."

"Oh, that reminds me, Daniel, how did you manage to get so much more beat up than the other two?" Sam asked.

It took all Vala's self control to just keep eating and not overreact to Sam's question; she was very interested in the sort of answer Daniel would choose to give.

"Oh, you know me and my particular talent for pissing off bad guys," he said after swallowing a mouthful of food.

Sam shook her head fondly.

Vala wondered whether Daniel's response should worry her. On the one hand, it was perfectly in line with his usual self-deprecating attitude, plus it was technically true. On the other hand, what if it was more of him being far too concerned with people knowing . . . whatever there was to know? What _was_ there to know? Or rather, what did _Daniel_ think there was to know? She wished she could convince herself that everything was simpler before her little realization, but apparently she'd used up her self-deception abilities and was stuck with the truth.

She'd just taken a nap in Daniel's arms, so why did he feel so distant? Why did she feel like she might be losing him, especially since she really wasn't sure in what, if any, sense he was currently hers? Her friend? Her friend with benefits? Tau’ri and their euphemisms, _honestly_.

The rest of the meal passed the same way: they ate and talked, and there was nothing particularly off about anything Daniel actually said, yet Vala couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Whether or not it had anything to do with her, she cared about Daniel, so she worried.

When they’d all finished, Daniel said he was going to go see if Mitchell was awake, and Teal’c decided to accompany him. Vala asked Sam if she could go with her and help with repairs, and Sam readily agreed.

“Does Daniel seem a bit off to you?” Vala asked once they separated from the boys.

“I was just gonna ask you about that,” Sam replied.

“So I’m not imagining it."

“No, definitely not. Do you have any idea what’s on his mind?"

“There are some possibilities, but I’m not really at liberty to discuss all of them,” Vala admitted slowly.

“What about the ones you can talk about?"

“Well, there’s the ethical issues with using the Ark. I think he knows it’s the least bad of a list of bad options, but he’s Daniel, so—"

“So he’ll beat himself up about it anyway. Yeah, that’s something I’ve just gotten used to with him over the years. I mean, obviously I wish he wouldn’t, but he lives with it, and it’s the kind of thing that comes and goes. Anything else?"

“Unless something happened when we were all separated . . . I suppose it’s pretty likely he didn’t tell us everything he and Morgan Le Fey talked about when she visited him in his cell. And, for that matter, we haven’t exactly gone into detail with each other about whether there was more to the torture than the Priors with their staffs. That’s more than enough to account for it, isn’t it?” Vala finished wryly.

“Yeah, I’d say so."

“So what do we do?"

“That’s right, this’ll be your first Daniel funk, won’t it?”

“My first what?"

“It’s what I call them. Something happens and Daniel gets all twisted up about it, kind of withdraws while he processes whatever it was and how much he’s going to let it keep affecting him.” Sam hesitated for a moment, as though making up her mind whether to tell Vala something. “The last one before this was after you destroyed the first supergate and disappeared."

Vala smiled, though mostly because she knew that was the reaction Sam would expect.

“But to answer your question, mostly we do what we always do: be his teammates and his friends, try to keep him from getting too far inside his own head. Maybe be a little more pushy about not letting him spend too much time alone—General O’Neill was always really good at that. But then, so are you,” Sam added, smiling. “I don’t think I’m able to be annoying enough to get through to Daniel when he’s really deep in it, which is why I’m glad he has you two."

This time Vala’s smile was genuine. “So, basically you’re saying the best thing for him is to smash all those walls he’s throwing up, even, or perhaps especially, if the only way to do that is to irritate the living hell out of him."

“Pretty much."

“I can do that."

“I have every confidence in your ability."

They grinned at each other. By then they’d reached the area where Sam wanted Vala to work, and Vala happily let herself be passed off to the techs. With all the internal and external upheaval she’d been experiencing, she’d let herself forget that, no matter what happened, if she was herself and Daniel was Daniel, it would be very difficult for them to not have something. If the most she could be to him was the person who got under his skin just enough to keep him sane, well, that was a role she’d been inhabiting for two years now, and it was one she enjoyed immensely. Sure, she wanted more now, but if he didn’t, well, “Daniel’s obnoxious friend with whom he once had a fling” was far from nothing.

 

As promised, they reached the supergate within a few hours, and it wasn’t long after that that they arrived at a planet with a gate they could use.

“Welcome back,” General Landry said as Vala, Tomin, Teal’c, and Daniel wheeled the Ark through the gate and down the ramp and handed it off to the techs. “Go get cleared, then we’ll finish this."

“Yes, sir,” they chorused.

Simply being in Daniel’s presence was enough to remind Vala that her resolution to be content with just being Daniel’s teammate and friend was easier said than done, especially since he was being extremely terse. She hoped it was just him focusing on what was hopefully about to happen with the Ark but, well, it was Daniel. Apparently not even people who’d known him for years understood what all went on in his head.

As soon as the med team told him he was good to go, Daniel jumped up and made for the infirmary exit.

“Daniel, do you want—"

“No, I got it,” he tossed the phrase over his shoulder, not even stopping.

Vala felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach as she realized that this was definitely more than just Daniel being Daniel about the task at hand; moments later, she and Tomin were told they were free to go.

“Vala, would you . . . I’d like to talk to you. Alone,” Tomin said hesitantly, before she could take off after Daniel.

She turned to him. There was something in his face . . . it occurred to her that they both needed closure of some kind, and that it might be easier to deal with Daniel if that had already happened. “All right.” They went to Tomin’s quarters.

“I’ve already discussed this with Teal’c, and he told me he would get it cleared with your general.” Vala cocked her head and raised her eyebrows. “I’m leaving. To help . . . it was the Doci who suggested it. I apologize, I am speaking all out of order. Assuming the Ark works in this galaxy the way it did in my home one, I will leave with the Prior and help lead my people, help us learn how to live and order ourselves without the Ori."

As he spoke, he was putting on his armor. Vala nodded in understanding and acceptance: that made perfect sense. Having seen the changes in Tomin, knowing first hand that he had kindness in him, but also resoluteness, she thought he was well suited to this role. She sat down on the edge of his bed while he finished putting on his armor, then stood looking at himself in the mirror.

"You're going to make a great leader," she reassured him.

"When I was being tortured by the Prior, the teachings of Origin gave me the strength I needed," he told her, then walked over to sit next to her. "There are still so many things about it that mean a great deal to me."

"Oh, I don't doubt that there's morality and wisdom in it. That's what made it such a powerful lure for so many people," she looked at him pointedly. "I think in principle the idea of bettering ourselves and seeking Ascension in one way or another is what it's all really about.” She spoke slowly, expressing herself in a way that, to her, sounded more like Daniel than herself—though under the circumstances, that was probably a good thing.

He met her eyes with a smile. "The book just needs some revision."

She chuckled at that. "Well, that's entirely up to you and your people," she said, nudging him a little. "Though I might humbly recommend that the part about burning people alive for not following along should be the first bit to go." She stared straight ahead as she said that part. "Perhaps throw in some color pictures," she added, because she needed levity, couldn't deal with Tomin in all seriousness and still hold herself together, not after everything that had happened.

"You know, I have not asked because I fear I know the answer," he said. Vala cocked her head, not looking at him. "But now that I'm leaving . . . " he trailed off.

She felt she had to look at him when she answered. Choosing her words with care, she told him, "I don't exactly know where my place is, but I hope it's here. I'm sorry.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was the part of it he needed to hear: she knew her place was as a member of SG-1, and she wasn’t sorry that she was staying here, where she had friends and was accepted as she was. But the Daniel situation had her all turned around, and having realized how she felt about Daniel gave her some empathy for Tomin and his feelings for her.

"I know I'll never make up for the things I've done, but I promise you, I'll spend the rest of my life trying."

She smiled. "I know." Feeling generous, she swung her legs up into his lap and put her arms around his shoulders. "So will I," she told him. After all, there were things she’d done between being freed from Qetesh and joining SG-1 that she was not at all proud of.

There was a knock at the door, and Vala swung her legs down and stood, following Tomin as he went to answer it.

"General Landry said you were to be informed once the Ark had been used," the person on the other side told Tomin.

"Did it work?" Vala asked.

"Yes, ma'am. The Ori ships have backed off. The Prior is waiting for Tomin before rejoining the armies and returning to their home."

"Well then. Best not to keep them waiting," she said, allowing her voice to stay soft and serious.

She accompanied Tomin to the gate room. Teal'c, General Landry, and the Prior were already there, waiting, when they arrived.

"You'll stop at the Alpha Site first to pick up your troops," the general told them. "Thank you for your assistance, Commander Tomin." They shook hands.

"Remember what we spoke of, Tomin, and you will do well," Teal'c said, giving Tomin a Jaffa salute.

Tomin turned to Vala. "Word of advice," she said. He raised his eyebrows. "You ever meet someone new--"

"Let her be herself?" he finished for her.

"Exactly," she said, giving him a quick hug. "Off you go, then. You've got a new galactic order to institute. So no pressure."

"None at all," he said with a smile, turned, and walked through the gate and out of her life.

She supposed part of her was sad, but mostly she was relieved. One complication down, a much more important one still to wrangle. She caught up with General Landry in the corridor. "So, what's going to happen to the Ark now?" she asked, curious.

"Not you, too," he said, exasperated.

"What do you mean?"

"I just went through this with Jackson. The Ark is going to Area 51 for study, and that's all I know."

"Oh, so--"

"Ms. Mal Doran, did I not just say that that was all I knew? It's out of my hands right now."

"I'll bet Daniel wasn't too happy about that."

"No. No he was not," Landry confirmed.

"Right then," Vala said, and veered off to locate Daniel. She thought about trying to plan for what she would say to him, because she was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, telling him how she felt would be the easiest way to distract him from his funk, as Sam called it, with the bonus of resolving things one way or the other. Then again, maybe that was the last thing he needed to hear right now, and she really did just want him to be OK. So she would do what she did best: wing it.

She found Daniel in his office, sitting at his desk, staring vacantly into space, but not in the "thinking deeply about something archeological or cultural or whatever" way. More of the "way too far in his own head thinking probably dark thoughts" kind of way that she was here to steer him away from.

"Hey," she said, walking up to perch on the desk next to him.

He blinked up at her. "Oh. Hey," he answered dully.

"You know, for someone who just played a vital role in saving the entire galaxy from the Ori armies, you seem to be in a decidedly uncelebratory state of mind. I mean, yes, there are some unfortunate ethical issues with using the Ark, but it was the least bad option, right? And OK, so now your military is carting it off to Area 51 for study, but it's not like they actually have a hope of figuring out the technology."

Daniel smiled faintly. "You're right, but that's not it. I can live with all that because, like you said, we picked the best of a lot of bad options, and it paid off. I can live with that."

"What, then?"

"When they had us prisoner in the cells, there was this moment, right before Teal'c showed up, where I gave up. I gave up, Vala." His voice was quiet and devastated, and Vala slid off the desk and crouched in front of him, leaning her arms on his knees and taking hold of his hands.

"Daniel, you shouldn't blame yourself for that. What they did to us . . . and what we were facing, well, it was too much for anyone. And you've worked harder than probably anyone to find a solution, to save everyone, not just from the Ori these last couple of years, but from the Goa'uld before that. So what if you gave up for a moment? You rallied, and we couldn't have used the Ark without you. Give yourself a break, Daniel."

  
He looked at her, and there were tears gathering in his eyes, and she didn't know why. "No, Vala, you don't understand. I gave up. I _gave up_ , right there in that cell, Morgan le Fey was there telling me she couldn't help us any more than she already had, and I gave up--"

"Daniel, you said that, and I told you--"

"No, Vala, _listen_ , they still had you, were still torturing you for all I knew, and _I gave up_."

 _Oh_.

Well, this was going to be much easier than she’d thought.

She took his face in her hands. "Oh, Daniel, I love you too."

“I didn’t say—"

“Not in as many words, no, but working with you, my skills as a translator have really improved. You're not going to try to tell me I got it wrong, are you?"

He smiled sadly, hope and sorrow warring on his face as he stared at her. “No, I won't try to tell you that you got it wrong,” he said at last.

"But?"

"But you really shouldn't love me."

“Silly,” she said, dropping her hands from his face and climbing into his lap. “Haven’t you learned by now that telling me I shouldn’t do something is only going to make me want to do it more?” Still, she was troubled by his answer. Then she noticed that he wasn’t looking directly at her, but rather at something over her shoulder. She turned, following his line of sight to the picture of Sha’re, and what she hoped was the last piece of the puzzle clicked into place. She turned back to Daniel.

“What happened to her wasn’t your fault, and neither was anything that happened to me in the Ori galaxy."

“That obvious, huh?” he said, smiling ruefully.

“Well,” Vala said, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, but you’ve got this habit of attempting to carry the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders, not to mention the way you take it rather personally when bad things happen to people you care about, especially if it’s even remotely connected to something you did, never mind if the connection is so tenuous that no one who’s being even a little bit fair could possibly blame you. Add that to what you told me about joining the Stargate program just so you could look for Sha’re but not being able to save her, plus what you were just saying about feeling guilty about giving up when we were all still prisoners, and it’s really very transparent."

“Hmph,” Daniel said, wrapping his arms around her waist. Then, after a moment’s silence, “So, you and me, huh?"

“I would like that, yes, even though I think we both find it rather astonishing. Though not in a bad way,” she added hastily. “I just mean . . . it’s difficult to explain, really. I mean, I care about people, even people I don’t trust, like most of my . . . colleagues from before I came here. Well, I say care; I suppose a lot of them would beg to differ, and I can’t say I blame them, but still, it would have upset me if they’d been severely injured or killed. I do like having friends, it’s just that, historically, I haven’t been very good at it. And I like sex— _that_  at least, I’ve always had a talent for,” she added with a smirk. "But the whole, well, feeling _this_  way, the way I feel about you, I mean . . . it’s not something that happens to me much, even before my entire life went to shit way back when. I couldn’t even tell you with any sort of certainty when you went from ‘Daniel, my friend and colleague who I love as a friend—and you already know why _that’s_  its own kind of miracle--and would also like to have sex with’ to ‘Daniel, my friend and colleague who I love as a friend and as something different from a friend and would also like to have sex with.’ Or, now, _keep_  having sex with.” She winked.

He smiled at her, that special, rare smile that both lit up and softened his face, and he reached out and stroked her cheek, then gently pulled her in until her forehead rested against his. “Well, you already figured out that I love you, too, and I think you know why it’s something I fought against for a long time. But here we are."

“Here we are,” she agreed, and kissed him.

When they came up for air, Vala pressed gently against Daniel’s shoulder to prevent him from starting again. “Just to be absolutely sure there aren’t any misunderstandings, could you tell me anyway?"

Daniel’s eyebrows came together. “Tell you what?"

“Why exactly you fought against being in love with me."

“Oh. Uh, sure. Yeah, that, uh . . . What?” he asked, in response to her grin.

“You’re having difficulties with coherency. Somehow I’d gotten to the point of believing you were rather above that."

“I don’t know about ‘above’ it, but I’ll admit it’s pretty rare."

“How rare?” she asked, cocking her head and absently stroking her fingers through his hair and along the back of his neck.

“That’s very distracting,” he informed her.

She paused. “In a good way?” she asked, smiling tentatively.

“For a change,” he answered, smiling back. She stuck out her tongue and flicked his ear, then clasped her hands around his neck and made herself sit still so he could answer.

"But, to return to your question. Well, questions, I guess. It's funny, what you were saying earlier, about how you do and don't feel about people, because I'm almost the opposite, really. I mean, I like the . . . the romantic side of things, the getting to know someone, that special connection. I mean, OK, so I have kind of a history of obliviousness--"

Vala snorted.

"Yeah, I deserved that. But what I told you that night, about my aversion to casual sex--well, not aversion, it's just . . . You know that thing you feel, where you look at someone and it's like you want _them_ , them _specifically_?"

Vala nodded, raising her eyebrows because _obviously_.

"I've only felt that for a handful of people in my entire life, and only ever after getting to know them. And, being me, it never really occurred to me that it was unusual. Well, maybe it's more accurate to say that it occurred to me, but I didn't really care because I was focused on my work."

"Daniel, this is all very illuminating, but I'm a little unclear about what it has to do with what I asked you."

"You asked me how rare it was for me to have coherency issues because of what I'm doing with another person," he reminded her.

"So what you're saying is," she leaned in until her lips were nearly, but not quite, touching his. “That I've joined a rather exclusive club, and you feel that way about me?” she whispered, and slid her nose along his jaw all the way to his ear, then back, then the other way, this time pausing to nip his ear lobe, eliciting a groan from Daniel.

“Dammit, Vala, make up your mind,” he gasped.

“About what?” she whispered huskily into his ear.

The sound Daniel made then could only be described as a _growl_ ; as he did so, he lifted her up and turned her so that when he set her back into his lap she was straddling him. Then he removed and set aside his glasses, pulled her tight against him, tugged her shirt collar aside, and kissed the sensitive spot on her neck, and then it was her turn to moan. She tried to grind against him, but he held her still, and the second reminder of just how physically strong he was only made the restraint he imposed worse.

“Make up your mind about whether we’re having a verbal or a physical conversation.” He kissed his way up and down her neck as he said it, open-mouthed, pausing every few kisses to say the next word.

“Not fair,” she whimpered.

“You started it,” he challenged.

She pressed herself hard against him in response, and then they were moving and Vala instinctively hoisted herself up and wrapped her legs around Daniel’s waist as he stood, strode rapidly across the office, and closed and locked the door. Then, without pausing, he whirled them around, walked over to a blank bit of wall, and shoved her up against it.

“OK?” he asked, breathing heavy and voice rough.

“God yes,” she told him, just as breathless, and then they were tearing at each other’s shirts and once that was done he reached one arm under her ass and used the other hand up to grab her wrists and pin her arms above her head and she grinned at him, tightened her legs around his waist, and used the leverage and her own strength to rub herself against him.

He stepped even closer so that there was no longer any space between them, no way she could move, and their eyes locked. Vala smiled and, slowly and deliberately, ran her tongue over her lips. Or rather, she started to: Daniel put a stop to it by crushing her mouth with his own.

They kissed and kissed and kissed, Daniel holding Vala’s body pinned to the wall, using teeth and tongue in ways that left her gasping, then trailing open-mouthed kisses along her neck and jaw, and all the while she could feel his powerful muscles against her, and she was so aroused she knew it would take very little to push her over the edge but he wouldn’t let her _move_  and the anticipation was killing her and she was loving every second of it.

At last she could take no more. “Daniel,” she gasped out. “Daniel, _please_."

He stopped completely and looked her in the eye again, a wicked smile spreading its way across his features. The gentleness with which he helped her stand on her own contrasted sharply with the way things had been going, but once she was steady on her feet and they had kicked off their shoes and socks, their eagerness returned as they reached for each other’s belts.

 

After, Daniel turned around and sank to the floor, still holding her to him, only letting her topple off his lap once they were safely seated. Vala felt deliciously limp and boneless, and though she suspected she’d be feeling what they’d just done in her leg and upper body muscles for a day or two, it was most definitely worth it. She stretched her legs out in front of her with a groan at the same time as Daniel; they turned and smiled lazily at each other.

“You good?” he asked, the twinkle in his eyes showing he already knew the answer.

“Understand that this is the very opposite of a complaint, but where did that come from?” she asked, still a bit breathless. Last time they’d had sex, he had followed her lead—this had been something else entirely.

He put his arm around her, and she scooted closer, closing the gap between them to lean against his side, enjoying the sensation of skin against skin. “I was just answering your question,” Daniel told her.

“Sorry, you’ll have to remind me what I asked—my short-term memory is completely fried at the moment."

“You asked whether I’d gotten to the point where I could look at you and want _you_ , you specifically, in a sexual way."

“Oh, right. I like this way of answering questions; you should do it more often."

“I’ll see what I can do,” he told her, kissing the top of her head.

"But it is a recent thing, right? I mean, you haven't been--"

"No, no, it's recent. I told you, that kind of . . . attraction, I guess, has only ever happened after I got to know someone, connected with them."

"OK, so not in the early days when I was really trying. But what about--"

"If you're trying to ask me whether there's a part of me that's been wanting to let loose like that for a while and I was in denial about it, _yes_. Satisfied?"

Vala smiled sensuously. "You know I am."

He reached down and pinched her butt, eliciting a surprised squeal. He smirked at her when she glared, eyebrows raised, and then she couldn't help but grin, because there was this whole playful side of Daniel she hadn't known was there and she was really, really enjoying getting to see it. She sighed contentedly and relaxed against him

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Daniel absently trailing his fingers up and down Vala’s side.

"No offense to your office floor, Daniel, but--"

"Yeah," he agreed, and they clambered to their feet and helped each other find their clothes, which they had flung away more enthusiastically than they realized in the heat of the moment.


	13. Some Form of Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's here: all that's left after this (extra long, I hope you don't mind) chapter is the epilogue, which is actually short.
> 
> I hope you're all ready for ridiculous amounts of schmoopy fluff, because these two have earned it by now, dammit!
> 
> As always, thanks to Chocolatequeen for the beta!

“So what now?” Vala asked once they were dressed.

Daniel smiled.

“What?” she asked, curious.

“You trust me?"

“Ye-es?"

“Enough that if I ask you to go pack so you can stay with me for a few days, you’ll do it without asking any more questions?"

Vala’s heart soared, and she grinned at him, nodded, and bounced out of the office.

“Make sure you include plenty of comfy things!” Daniel called after her. She raised her hand and waved in acknowledgment.

He couldn’t stop smiling as he picked up his phone to check with Landry that it was OK if he and Vala took the rest of the week off.

“I think that’s an excellent idea,” the general told him.

“Thank you, sir. And sir—"

“It’s all right, Dr. Jackson. It’s been a stressful time for all of us. Personally, I’m just glad it’s over."

“Yes, sir."

Daniel hung up, mentally making a list of the things they’d need from the store. This was much more difficult than usual, because he kept getting distracted by waves of euphoria that swept through him every time he thought about what was happening. Vala loved him, and they had defeated the Ori once and for all, and Vala loved him, and he loved her, and screw it he was just going to let this happen because if the last few months had taught him anything it was that he and Vala were just as capable of making each other happy as they were of driving each other nuts, so he was going to try.

He closed up his office, changed into his civvies, and made his way to Vala’s quarters. To his surprise, she was already changed and packed and was just leaving to come meet him. “That was fast,” he commented.

“Not all of my old habits are bad ones, you know."

“Ah. Want me to carry any of that for you?"

“But we’re still on base."

“Yeah, so?” he said, smiling at her. She had seen more of Daniel’s smile in the last week than she had in the two years of knowing him before that, and it was a trend she very much hoped would continue. She grinned and handed him her bag.

“Geez, Vala, I said a few days, and it’s not like you can’t come back to base if you end up needing something."

“Don’t fuss, Daniel, it’ll ruin the gentlemanly gesture."

“Since when do you like gentlemen?” he asked as they made their way to the elevator.

“Since they do things like carry my bag for me."

Sam, also in her civvies, was already in the elevator. She grinned when she saw them. “What are you two up to?"

Vala smiled coyly and raised her eyebrows at Daniel. “I’m not sure."

“Oh, Daniel, I feel like I should mention,” Sam said, still grinning, eyes sparkling. “I happened to walk by your office, oh, maybe half an hour ago? That’s a nice sturdy desk chair you’ve got."

“Sam—"

“I think it’s great. And about damn time. Don’t worry, my lips are sealed. Tell me what there is to tell when you’re ready.”

Daniel smiled gratefully.

“Sam, when you say ‘tell you what there is to tell’—“ Vala began.

“Uh-uh,” Sam said, shaking her head. “What I told you before still stands. More than ever, really."

“Hmph."

“Do I—“ Daniel started to ask.

“Nope,” Sam told him.

“Thought not."

They reached the garage level.

“See you around!” Sam called cheerfully.

Daniel hesitated, glancing at Vala.

“What?"

“I didn’t check. Are you OK with just getting a ride with me, or would you prefer—"

In answer, she made a beeline for his sensible little car. He hurried after her and unlocked it, riding another wave of euphoria.

“We have to stop at the store first since, I hope you remember, I’m a little short on provisions at the moment," he told her once they were seated.

“OK."

She was smiling at him, and she was so beautiful, he had to lean over and kiss her.

“What was that for?” she asked when they broke apart.

He was smiling that beautiful smile again. “You,” he told her. She shook her head in wonder. “What?"

“You,” she answered.

After they stared at each other for a moment, Daniel turned away and started the car. “We’re kind of disgusting,” he pointed out.

“Oh, absolutely."

“At least as bad as teenagers. College students at best."

“From what I’ve seen, I completely agree."

“Good thing Mitchell’s not here to see this."

“He’d never let us hear the end of it. I think even Sam might find it a little hard to stomach."

“Probably.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Vala asked, “So, enjoy it while it lasts? Because I’m really, really liking it so far."

“Me, too,” he agreed softly.

There was a brief silence. “So, now that my memory has mostly recovered from that whole . . . _experience,_  in your office, I’ve realized that you never answered one of my questions,” Vala said.

“Which one was that? You ask so many questions, sometimes it can be hard to keep track."

“I asked why it took you so long to figure out that you . . . you know."

“Love you,” Daniel said firmly. “Why I was so resistant to the fact that I love you."

“Yes, that,” she confirmed softly, and for goodness’ sakes she could actually feel herself _blushing_.

“A lot of reasons. I don’t even know whether it’s fair to say that they’re bad ones, honestly. I just took caution a little too far."

“And those reasons are?” she prompted.

“My romantic history is really terrible. I mean, you already know the basics of what happened to Sha’re, but there’s other things you don’t know about."

“You mentioned a co-worker."

“Yeah, that was years ago, before the Stargate program. That one went bad because I was an oblivious ass. She had every right to dump me. And there have been other things. Incidents on other planets, or with people from them, that I’d rather not get into just now. It’s just a mess. And, thanks to that mess, I guess at some point I decided that it wasn’t worth it. I had my friends and my work, and that was enough. No need to do anything about it if I ever developed romantic feelings for someone. And . . . Vala, I can’t begin to explain how much losing Sha’re hurt, and how much the possibility of going through anything like that ever again terrifies me—I’m honestly not sure I could survive that a second time. I feel like an asshole, talking about how much it hurt _me_  after everything she suffered, but a part of me died with her, it really did. She was just . . . god, I’m sorry, you don’t want to hear about this."

“Yes I do,” Vala said quietly.

“Why?"

“Because she was important to you, so important that you wouldn’t be who you are now if she hadn’t been in your life. Because I have to believe that any woman who could affect you like that is one I could’ve been friends with. It doesn’t hurt my feelings to hear how you felt about her, what you loved about her.” She looked down at her lap, picking at a spot on her jeans. “Maybe . . . maybe, after, I could even tell you about Avel."

Daniel glanced at her. “Avel? That’s the guy from before Qetesh, the one you were going to marry?"

“Yes, except she wasn’t a guy."

Daniel blinked. “Oh. Huh. Learn something new every day."

“That doesn’t bother you, does it?"

“Nope."

“Because I sort of accidentally discovered that some people on this planet feel rather strongly that there’s something somehow wrong about it, that—"

“Hey,” he reached out and put a hand on her knee. “Yeah, kind of a lot of people get hung up about stuff like that, and some of them say some truly reprehensible things. But I’m not one of them, OK?"

Vala nodded, covering his hand with both of hers. “OK."

“It occurs to me that, as much as I want to keep having this conversation, the car probably isn’t the best place for it."

“Agreed."

“You can put the radio on if you want."

Vala spent the rest of the drive to the grocery store flipping through radio stations, and Daniel actually managed not to mind too much.

She opted to come into the store with him, though the only thing he really needed her help with was making sure she liked all the ice cream flavors he bought.

“What’s with all the produce?” she asked as they returned to the car.

“You didn’t think pancakes was the only thing I knew how to cook, did you?"

“Should I be worried?"

“No. But if you don’t want to take my word for it, you can call Sam or Jack."

“All right, all right, just checking."

It was a short drive from the store to Daniel’s apartment. Once they’d lugged Vala’s bags and the groceries inside and put the stuff that needed it in the fridge and freezer, Daniel told Vala to make herself at home while he went to get his mail. Remembering what he’d said about comfortable clothes, she changed into yoga pants and a camisole. When he returned, she immediately zeroed in on the package he carried along with the envelopes.

“What’s that?"

“Oh, this?” Daniel said coyly. “Why don’t you open it and see while I go change."

She ripped open the package as he disappeared into his bedroom. “Season 3 of _Lost_?!?” she squealed, running after him and skidding into the bedroom as he pulled on a worn black t-shirt, having already changed from jeans to comfy-looking plaid pajama bottoms.

Vala found herself temporarily distracted by the hole in the left sleeve of the t-shirt. “Daniel,” she said slowly, “that’s not . . . that’s not the shirt you were wearing when—"

“When a sexy space pirate I soon wanted to throw out an airlock hijacked the ship, tied me up, and ruined my shirt, and all that just for the opening act? At the time I figured, why throw away a shirt that’s still perfectly good for wearing in my apartment. And now, well . . . "

She shook her head. “It wasn’t exactly a, oh, what’s the phrase? Meet cute? Considering how thoroughly I kicked your ass. Not to mention leaving all the rest of your people on the other ship and convincing myself it wasn’t really murder since they at least theoretically had a chance to escape or be picked up or something."

“I don’t think either one of us was exactly at our best that day. But on the bright side, that makes it entirely conceivable that our low point was the day we met, which is kind of oddly reassuring."

“Very oddly."

Daniel gestured to the DVDs she was still holding. “So, before my wardrobe distracted you, I think you were shrieking about something?"

“Why yes, yes I was. And you knew, didn’t you? You knew this would be here!” she added accusingly.

“Yep,” he said, grinning at her delight.

“So, we’re watching now, right?"

“If that’s what you want."

She paused and cocked her head. “What do _you_  want, Daniel?"

He walked up to her and put his arms around her. “To just enjoy this. To . . . to relearn how to let myself feel this way. To just be with you. No missions, no peril, just us."

She walked back to the living room, Daniel following, and set the DVDs down on the coffee table. Then she reached up and put her hands on his face, because there was an undercurrent to what he said that made her heart ache. “Hey. I’m not going anywhere, OK? You’re not going to lose me."

He smiled sadly. “You can’t promise that. Even if we were normal people with normal jobs you couldn’t promise me that, because there’s sickness and freak accidents and bad people in dark alleys and—"

She stopped him with a kiss. “I really hate it when you’re right."

“Well, if I get kissed when I’m right, that’s not exactly going to discourage me."

“Hmm. I’ll have to give that some thought.” She led him over to the couch, and he sat down and pulled her into his lap. "But seriously, Daniel, is there anything I can do to make you worry less?"

“How do you do it? I mean, after everything you’ve been through—"

“Well, as you’ll recall, for a long time my coping mechanism was to take care of myself and no one else, and just not let myself make meaningful connections with people. So I don’t think I’m really someone you want to emulate on that front."

“But now?"

“Now . . . I don’t know. I guess maybe I just figure, the next bad thing will happen whether or not I go after what I want, so I might as well try and be happy for as long as I can. Rather bleak, I suppose, but it’s worked for me so far."

“I’ve got no problem with bleak, believe me."

“Bullshit."

“Excuse me?"

“You’re . . . you . . . Daniel, you really don’t know the effect you have, do you?"

“What are you talking about?” he asked, brows coming together in confusion. She kissed the wrinkles in his forehead before answering.

“The way you have of looking at things. You know, I still remember, on that first trip to the Ori galaxy, the first thing you tried to stop them from burning me was to tell them that we just wanted to talk to them."

“Vala—"

“I’m not finished. Do you have any idea how extraordinary that is? A bunch of people, totally fine with the truly heinous act of burning someone alive, and the first thing out of your mouth was that you wanted to talk to them. And you meant it, too, because I have never met another person who wanted to _know_  as much as you do, and who was so likely to actually succeed. When you get it in your head that you need the answer to a question, whether it’s how to translate some obscure scrap of something or why two factions are fighting or why I’m being more or less of a pain in the ass than usual, you don’t stop until you get that answer. I see the way people react to you, I mean people who know who you are and everything you’ve done. The more set-in-their-ways military types look apprehensive and as though they anticipate being annoyed, because you’re so quick to question their assumptions, to ask why they can’t do things differently. The scientists, especially the archeological and linguistic departments, practically worship the ground you walk on. The people lucky enough to be your friends are always glad to get to talk to you, spend time with you, and they— _we—_ know that we can say anything to you, anything at all, and be safe. That doesn’t come from nowhere, Daniel. The SGC wouldn’t be what it is without you, it just wouldn’t. Maybe it’s because I’m a newcomer that I see that so clearly, I don’t know. And I suppose there’s a level on which it isn’t fair to you, because people expect you to be _the_  Dr. Daniel Jackson all the time, when the truth is you have bad days just like the rest of us except worse, probably, because of everything you’ve been through on account of being you and doing what you do and caring so damn much about every damn thing, and for all that hope and optimism you’re a very grumpy person when it comes down to it, though perhaps that perception is a bit colored by my own experience . . . Daniel?"

There were tears in his eyes. He removed his glasses and set them on the coffee table so they wouldn’t get fogged up. “Sorry. It’s just . . . did I ever tell you about what happened when I was booted back to the physical realm after spending a year Ascended?” She shook her head. “Oma Desala wiped my memory. I had no idea who I was. When SG-1 found me, they started trying to tell me. Jack talked about me being a member of his team, the stuff I’d done, how I Ascended and helped them fight Anubis. I thought it all sounded ridiculous, but there was something naggingly familiar about talking to Jack. Then Sam came in, and she told me what kind of person I was. Between the two of them, they convinced me to go back, and the rest is pretty much history. But during that whole process, they didn’t . . . "

“What, Daniel? Didn’t what?"

“I never feel more like just a _person_  than when I’m with you, did you know that? Because even though Jack and Sam are my two best friends in the world, when they were trying to help me remember who I was, they didn’t mention all of what you just did. I mean, to be fair, Sam told me that my main flaw was that I wanted to help people so badly that it messed me up when I couldn’t, but even that just makes me sound like some kind of martyr, not, not—"

“The person who would cease to be human without his coffee and totally deserved it when I threw a pillow at his head, if for no other reason than that he once threw a pillow at _my_  head just because—“ Daniel cut her off with a kiss.

“Thank you,” he murmured when they broke apart. “Thank you for letting me just be a person."

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for believing in me even after everything I put you through."

They sat like that for a few minutes, then Vala asked, “Did Sha’re do that? Just let you be a person?"

Daniel smiled. “Yeah. Even when it was really hard."

“What do you mean?"

“When we first got to Abydos, I couldn’t speak their language at all. We managed some rudimentary communication, but there were a lot of misunderstandings. Like, for example, me not knowing that I was getting married."

“ _What_?"

“Yeah. I should’ve realized, what with the ritual cleaning and her coming in wearing nice clothes, which she promptly started taking off, but I guess I was kind of overwhelmed at the time. Anyway, I thought . . . well, I didn’t want her to think she had to do that, and it was clear she was nervous. So I made her stop, and tried to get her to leave, but then her dad was right outside, and he was clearly so worried I was upset, that I put my arm around her and pulled her back inside. Long story short, we started communicating, and then she took me to a place with all these hieroglyphs, and basically once she corrected my pronunciation I was able to learn the language, and we just talked for hours, and she was just as excited to be teaching me as I was to learn."

“You were from two different planets, two drastically different cultures, and it sounds like you still managed to be perfect for each other."

“That’s what it felt like."

“So what happened when you found out you were married, if you don’t mind my asking?"

“Well, first of all, you should know that I found out through a teenage boy making fun of me for trying to do something that husbands, apparently, didn’t do. So I went and asked Sha’re about it, which is when I found out she had been covering for me, but was actually really hurt because she thought I had rejected her, and not just because that meant she had failed in her duty. She . . . she _wanted_ to be with me."

“And then?"

“Vala, I don’t kiss and tell."

“You romantic softie."

“Maybe. What about you? What was it about Avel . . . ?"

“Everything, really. She was kind of like you in that she could always see the good in the world. I’ve never met anyone who went through life with as much joy as she did back then. She and her younger sister, Lali, were my best friends, and Avel was always towing us and our other friends from adventure to adventure."

“I find it hard to believe that you had to be _towed_  into adventure."

“This was a long time ago. I was new to the planet, I didn’t trust people, and I was pretty deep inside my shell. Avel made me want to come out of it and, yes, before long we were co-ringleaders. What a sight we must’ve been, me as pale as they come and skinny, her with this beautiful dark brown skin and meat on her bones and curly hair springing in all directions.” Vala shook her head fondly as she remembered, remembered Avel pulling smiles and laughter from her as if by magic, remembered how she’d try to come up with good plans for mischief and excitement just so she could see Avel’s eyes sparkle with anticipation.

"She claimed she fell in love with me the day we met, which has to be at least somewhat of an exaggeration since we were only eight at the time, though it’s just the sort of thing she would say, and I at least believed she must have decided we were going to be best friends that day. It took me years to realize how I felt about her. Or maybe years to _get_ to where I felt that way about her—that line between deep friendship and romance is very difficult to define. Either way, it was a long process, and if she really was in love with me the whole time, then she had the patience of a saint, because I told her all about all my conquests."

“Conquests?"

“Don’t tell me you’re surprised that I spent my teenage years exploring carnal possibilities."

“Good point."

“I liked going on dates, and I liked sex even more, so I did a lot of both with people from all across the gender spectrum. Then, one day, when Avel and I were nineteen, she just grabbed me and kissed me and then suddenly pulled back and her eyes were all wide and worried while she watched me and something clicked into place for me and then I was kissing her, and we were kissing each other, and that was pretty much that."

Daniel was smiling softly and sadly, because he knew more or less how this story ended. “You don’t have to tell me any more. You don’t have to talk about . . . about whatever it was Qetesh did."

“Might as well now that I’ve started. We had three years together. In that culture, marriage meant that you agreed to spend your lives together, your friends and family helped you move into a new place that was yours, and you threw a party to celebrate. We knew we were going to do that, but we were still saving up for a place. And in the mean time, well, you remember that step-mother I mentioned?”

“The one you named Adria after?"

“That’s the one. She happened on that planet. So soon after my mother died, in fact, that she and my father must have already had something going on the side. She saw me as an unruly nuisance, but I think we both realized the easiest way to coexist was to be around each other as little as possible, so I started spending even more time at Lali and Avel’s than I already was. That was when I was thirteen. Anyway, when I was twenty-two, Qetesh got into some sort of trouble with the other system lords and needed to lie low for a while. Hephaestus, the local goa’uld, was loyal to her, so he offered his planet as a refuge. Her plan was to take a new host and pretend to _be_  that host until things calmed down with the system lords and she could persuade them not to execute her."

Daniel stared at her, horrified, as he began to understand exactly how comprehensively Qetesh had destroyed the life Vala was starting to build for herself as a young woman.

“My step-mother worked at the palace and wanted to curry favor, so when Hephaestus put the word out that he was looking for beautiful young women, she . . . "

Daniel tightened his arms around her. “God, Vala, I’m so sorry. That’s horrible."

Vala wiped angrily at her eyes. “Anyway, she tricked me into going to the palace, I was chosen etc., and then Qetesh took over my life as well as my body. But of course she ruined everything in the process. She was me, but a me who turned fickle and manipulative and cruel. Avel didn’t understand what was happening, but she thought she could help me like she helped me when we were children, even as Qetesh . . .” Vala took a shuddering breath. “Well, you know what she was the goddess of, so I’m sure you can guess.” Daniel kissed the tear tracks on her face and ran his fingers soothingly through her hair.

“It went on for six months, then Qetesh got word that it was safe for her out in the galaxy again, so she revealed herself to Avel. When I tried to go back after I got free, I learned exactly how thoroughly the whole thing had broken her. Not that I can blame her for not being able to trust me, for being willing to use any means necessary to drive what she thought was Qetesh away. I mean, obviously I wasn’t thinking clearly, believing there might actually be a haven for me to return to after Qetesh had so meticulously burned and salted the earth, so to speak. How utterly naive could I be?“ The breath she took ended up being a strangled sob.

“Here,” Daniel said softly, and shifted them around until they were laying on their sides on the couch and he had his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest and cried. He rubbed her back and stroked her hair and didn’t say a word, a few tears of his own dripping into her hair. It was so wrong, so unfair, what had been done to her and to Sha’re, to him and to Avel.

Once Vala had herself under control, she pulled back so she could see Daniel’s face. “I’ve never told anyone before,” she admitted.

He stroked her cheek. “I’m honored. And just so you know, I’ve never actually told anyone as much about Sha’re as I just told you."

“Really?"

“Really. Now, I think maybe we should watch some _Lost_  and eat some ice cream straight out of the carton, don’t you?"

“You’re a genius, Daniel Jackson."

“You realize you’ll have to let me up if we’re going to do those things."

“Mmm, less genius, but a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” She didn’t move, and he raised his eyebrows. “In a minute."

They ended up drifting off to sleep for half an hour or so. Daniel woke up first. “Hey,” he said, rubbing Vala’s back to wake her up. “In the interest of attempting a normal sleep schedule, I’m declaring nap time over."

She sighed. “Fine.” Then, because it was just easier, she carefully rolled herself off the couch and onto the floor, where she sat, leaning her head against the couch.

“Come on,” Daniel said, sitting up and offering his hand, then hauling her to her feet as he stood. “I’ll make coffee, you decide which flavor of ice cream you want us to get into first."

“Silly Daniel. _Obviously_  we bring them all and take bites out of whichever one sounds best in the moment."

“Of course. I should have realized."

Once the coffee was ready, they took it, the ice cream, and spoons to the living room, and Daniel put in the first disc. They watched four episodes in a row, and if some aspects of the plot hit just a little too close to home, at least it gave them even more of an excuse to cuddle than they already had.

“Are you hungry?” Daniel asked around seven in the evening. “I mean, for something besides ice cream,” he added.

“Yes, I suppose I am."

“Me too. Come on, I’m gonna show you a trade secret of making delicious but easy food.” She followed him into the kitchen.

He checked the instructions on the bag of frozen oven fries he’d left on the counter, then set the oven to preheat. “Observe,” he told her, “the humble oven fry."

“I’m observing."

He took out a large tupperware container and dumped in half the fries. “But when we add oil, lemon juice, garlic powder, oregano, salt, and pepper,” he added some of each ingredient as he spoke, “we get something else entirely.” He added the rest of the fries to the container, then put more of the spices on top. After putting the lid on the tupperware, he held it out to Vala.

“Want to shake it?” he asked.

She grinned and took the container, shaking it vigorously while he got out two baking sheets and coated them with cooking spray.

“And thus,” he said, reclaiming the container and spreading the fries on the two baking sheets, “do we get delicious, flavored fries without doing the work of chopping potatoes."

“Brilliant,” she said, grinning. “So what do we do while we wait for the oven to heat up?"

“Hmm,” Daniel said, walking over to her and putting his arms around her waist. “I’m trying, but I’m just having a hard time coming up with any possible activities,” he said seriously.

“Oh, shut up,” she told him, and kissed him.

He kissed her back for a few minutes, but when she tried to reach up under his shirt, he stopped her. “Getting all wound up in the middle of food prep probably isn’t the best idea,” he pointed out.

Vala pouted.

Daniel looked around, trying to think of something else. Then he spotted his record player, and he smiled. “Wait here,” he told Vala, and went over to put on a jazz album.

Vala, curious, followed him instead of doing as she was told. “What is that?” she asked.

He held up the vinyl. “An old form of storing recorded music for playback. My dad loved classical music and my mom loved jazz, so they had tons of them. I inherited them when they died. The sound isn’t as clear as it is on CD or digital, but I like it."

“Good memories?"

“Yeah, good memories. Plus you can’t get some of these recordings in newer formats, not yet anyway, so if I want to listen to some of the stuff from when I was a kid, this is the only option."

“So we’re going to listen to old music?"

He looked at her, and she didn’t know it was possible for blue eyes to be so warm. “No, Vala, we’re going to dance to old music."

“Oh,” she said softly, and accepted his proffered hand. He led her back into the kitchen, put one arm around her waist and pulled her close, and told her to put the hand he wasn’t holding on his shoulder and follow his lead.

It was more swaying than dancing, really, though they did make their way around and around the kitchen. The important thing, Vala decided, was Daniel’s sure, guiding hands and the expression on his face. After far too little time, the oven beeped. However, once Daniel put the fries in and set the timer, he once again held out his hand in invitation, and they resumed their dance as the music flowed warm and slightly fuzzy from the record player.

The record ended just as the oven timer beeped its one minute warning. “I don’t want to stop,” Vala murmured.

Daniel rested his cheek on top of her head and just held her close for that last minute. She refused to relinquish his hand when the timer went off, which made getting the fries out of the oven much more complicated than it otherwise would have been. But he didn’t mind, not really. He liked that it was both of them that felt the need to be close. He liked that she liked dancing with him in his kitchen to an old record, something so romantically cheesy he hadn’t been sure she’d go for it.

He got out a large serving bowl, then turned to Vala. “You’re gonna have to let go of my hand if I’m gonna put these fries in here,” he said, shaking the bowl under her nose.

“Says you,” she challenged, and grabbed the potholder and the first tray and raised her eyebrows at him. He rolled his eyes and set the bowl down, holding it steady while she carefully dumped the fries in from first one tray, then the other.

Daniel shook his head as she picked up the bowl and tucked it securely against her hip; he grabbed a small bowl and the ketchup, balancing them carefully, and even managed to hit the off switch on the record player with his elbow as they passed it on their way to the couch.

It was only once they were settled, legs and shoulders touching, that Vala relinquished his hand. “Mmm!,” she said after she popped a fry into her mouth. “That _is_ good!"

“Told you,” he said, taking one as well. “And you know, there’s another advantage to this particular recipe."

“Oh? What’s that?"

He waved a fry in front of her face. “The lemon juice turns them into Rodney McKay repellent."

She giggled. “Well, if he ever comes back from Atlantis and I need to get him to leave me alone, I’ll certainly keep that in mind."

They ate the fries and watched another couple of episodes. However, as the second progressed, Daniel could feel Vala getting more and more tense.

“Too much?” he asked softly as the credits rolled. She nodded and cuddled into his side as he put his arm around her.

“It’s not the same, you know,” he told her.

“Close enough."

“I don’t believe that, not for a second. That guy, he obviously never did anything like what Tomin did, even the little that I know about."

“That obvious that there’s more?"

“Call it an educated guess."

“Aren’t you going to ask?” she asked, turning her head to look up at him.

“No. You’ll tell me if you need to, and if you don’t need to tell me, then I don’t need to know."

“That simple?"

“That simple. I mean, if you wanted to give me permission to hate his guts . . . "

She swatted his shoulder, smiling in spite of herself.

“Do you want to watch another one, get past that stuff, or would you rather be done for the night?” Daniel asked.

“What would we do instead? Seems a little early to go to bed."

“You really gonna try to tell me you aren’t exhausted?"

“Fair point. But I don’t really want that to be the last thing before trying to sleep.” She hesitated. “Do you think . . . could we dance some more?"

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that."

Daniel turned off the TV and got up to put on a record. When he turned around, Vala was right there, and she stepped eagerly into his arms.

It didn’t take long for the dancing to turn into kissing, and it wasn’t long after that before they made their way to the bedroom.

The sex they had then was the first time in years that Vala could honestly describe such an encounter as ‘making love.'

 

The next morning, Daniel woke Vala up with lazy kisses to the back of her neck. She rolled over and smiled sleepily. “Is it still true, then?"

“Is what?” he asked, stroking her cheek.

“Yesterday you said you love me. Still true?"

He kissed her. “Still true. What about what you said? You haven’t changed your mind?"

“Not even a little."

This time, it was the two of them together who used up all the hot water.

Vala decided she was going to wear the t-shirt Daniel had on the day before and nothing else. He saw her choice, shrugged, and opted not to wear a shirt, turning back to smirk at her when she made an involuntary whining sound in her throat. "You should really stop starting things you can't finish," he called.

She'd forgotten again, forgotten what she had learned about Daniel's ability to be playful, to tease. Had he really been that unsure of himself around her before? No, that wasn't it--he'd been too worried that, deliberately or otherwise, she'd misunderstand his intentions. And up until fairly recently, she would have. It was no one's fault but hers that she'd missed out on this for so long. Time to make up for lost time.

She followed Daniel to the kitchen and was about to hoist herself up on the counter when he stopped her by incoherently sputtering at her.

"What?"

"Are you wearing underwear?"

"No," she said, looking up at him through her lashes.

"Then you're not sitting on my kitchen counter!"

“ _Fine_." She stalked back to the bedroom, pulled on panties, and rejoined him in the kitchen, pulling up the shirt so he could see that she'd complied before claiming the seat she'd wanted.

The coffee was brewing, and Daniel was dumping ingredients into a bowl.

Vala grabbed a peach from the bowl on the counter and bit into it. "What's for breakfast?" she asked around her mouthful.

She could see from the set of Daniel's (well-muscled, what a _view_ ) shoulders that he was very deliberately _not_ turning around to glare at her for her bad manners as he answered.

"Crepes."

She swallowed her mouthful of peach. "Ooh, I love crepes! What do you have to put on them?"

"Raspberries and Nutella."

She closed her eyes and hummed in rapturous anticipation.

Something occurred to her as she watched Daniel whisk batter together. “Hey, so,” she said around another bite of peach, “you seem to know your way around a kitchen a lot better than I would've thought.” She swallowed, was about to take another bite, but Daniel snatched the half-eaten peach from her.

“Eat _or_  talk, not both. Can you maybe be an adult and actually remember that, or do I have to confiscate this until you’re done asking questions?” He waved the peach in front of her nose.

Vala stuck out her tongue and held out her hand for the peach. Eyebrows raised in warning, Daniel gave it back.

“To answer your question,” he said as he got out a pan and put butter in it to melt, “you’re not the first to be surprised by this.” He gestured to himself and the breakfast preparations. “It started when I was a kid. There was this one truly awful foster home where everything we ate was out of a box and not very healthy, and I didn’t like how it made me feel—my parents were very into home-cooked meals, and that’s what I was used to. So I went to the library and checked out some cookbooks and found some recipes that looked easy, cheap, and way better than what we were eating. I sort of ended up taking over the grocery shopping and cooking while I was there—they didn’t care as long as I stayed within the food budget they set, especially since it was less work for them. I think one of the librarians figured out what was up, or maybe a neighbor, because it wasn’t too long before that place got shut down. But I kind of liked the cooking, so at the next place I still helped out in the kitchen a lot. The mom was a good cook, and she loved that I was so eager to learn.” He flipped the first perfect crepe out of the pan and onto a plate he’d warmed in the microwave and upended a second warm plate on top of it, then poured more batter into the pan.

“Daniel,” Vala said softly. “How did . . . I mean you’ve never told me . . . "

He glanced up at her. “Sorry, I forgot you didn’t know. My parents died when I was eight. They were both archeologists, and they were setting up an exhibit in a museum and . . . there was an accident. My only living relative was my grandfather, Nick, and he couldn’t take me, so into the foster system I went."

He tried to say it matter-of-factly, but Vala could here it in his voice how much it still hurt. Well, of course it did: losing a loving parent, let alone two, when you’re supposed to have them for years to come, always hurts. Never stops hurting. Not really.

Vala jumped off the counter, set down her unfinished peach, and walked over and slid her arms around Daniel’s waist from behind, resting her cheek against his back. “I’m sorry.” She felt him shrug. What was there to say? “Can I ask . . . why couldn’t you live with your grandfather? And why did you call him Nick?"

She could feel the chuckle rumbling in his chest before it came out as sound. “That’s actually kind of a funny story. Go finish your peach so I can concentrate on not burning breakfast, and I’ll tell you."

She kissed his shoulder blade and did as he asked, and for the rest of the time it took him to get breakfast ready he regaled her with the story of Nick and the giant aliens and the crystal skull.

“Is it weird to you that so much of your personal life is on record in SGC mission reports, where anyone with clearance can access them?” she asked as they sat down to eat.

“I guess I’m kind of used to it. I mean, the Stargate program _is_  my life, has been for years, and frankly it’s easier than having to talk about it when there’s a change in leadership."

“You mean like Mitchell?"

“And Landry. You’ve never met General Hammond, have you?” She shook her head. “He’s one of the good guys. We butted heads sometimes—"

“You, butting heads with one of the military people? I’m shocked."

“Shut up and let me finish. We butted heads sometimes, but I always knew that _people_  were his first priority. I trusted him."

“High praise,” she said softly.

“Hey,” Daniel said, reaching out to take her hand. “I trust you. You know that, don’t you? I didn’t always, but I do now. I trust you, and I love you."

She smiled, put down her fork, and took his hand in both of hers. "I know. I trust you, too. I don't think I could love you the way I do if I didn't."

After a moment they went back to eating. Vala realized something and opened her mouth to speak, remembered Daniel's earlier admonition, and swallowed first. "You didn't finish telling me how you got to be such a good cook," she reminded him.

"Well, like I said, it started as a utilitarian thing, and pretty much stayed that way until Abydos. While I was there, I realized something: language and food are, in my opinion, the two best ways to get to know a culture.”

"How do you figure?”

"Well, I specialize in languages. That's communication and stories. Everyone communicates, and everyone tells stories."

"And everyone eats," Vala said, catching on.

"Yes, everyone eats. Different foods for different things, different rituals. I mean, the significance of knowing whether a culture uses utensils, whether everyone has individual plates or are all eating from a shared serving dish. Between language and food, that's so much of a culture's heart and soul right there."

"So, the cooking thing was a way of, what, expanding your professional knowledge?"

"More like, that was what got me interested in it again. In cooking, I mean. Well, that and the fact that food preparation wasn't a gendered activity on Abydos, so there was a pretty steep learning curve for me. Then, when I got back . . . I was in bad shape for a while. I'd look at my modern kitchen and it was like I didn't really know what to do with it. Bake bread in an electric oven? Cook without an open flame? I don't know, I think I was making some really irrational associations between using modern conveniences and giving up on Sha're. Jack put the word out through the, I don't know, military grapevine, I guess, brought me a bunch of casseroles where all I had to do was reheat them. I was starting to come out of it by the time those ran out, but not fast enough, because Jack was always hauling me over to his place for bbq. One day I snapped, told him he was going to die of heart failure, and started banging around his kitchen trying to find something healthy to make for both of us. After that it wasn't long before I was buying cookbooks with recipes from the Middle East and North Africa, trying to approximate Abydonian dishes as best I could. And then trying new recipes just became something I did when Jack and Hammond basically kicked me off the base with stern warnings not to do anything work-related for a day or two. Thus, culinary skills."

Vala set her plate back down, having literally licked it clean while Daniel spoke. "You know, you're a much more interesting person than you like to let on."

Daniel grimaced. "Maybe, but it comes with a _lot_ of baggage, so I figure it's better for everyone if most people just think I'm the nerdy archeologist to whom way too much weird crap happens."

She smiled. "Lucky me. That no one caught on, I mean. Nope, that still sounds bad. You know what I mean, don't you? That I'm glad . . . that you and me . . . "

"I know what you mean," he said, saving her from her verbal fumbling.

"Are you finished?" she asked, and reached out to take his empty plate when he nodded.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Cleaning up. You cooked, so I should clean, right? That's how these things work."

"Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is."

He followed her into the kitchen and began pulling out spices.

"What are you doing now?"

"I need to marinate the chicken for tonight."

Once the kitchen was clean and the chicken in the fridge soaking in its marinade, Daniel poured them each a second cup of coffee, and they went into the living room to watch more _Lost_.

It was strange, yet also the most natural thing in the world, how easy it was to just be together, as if they'd been doing this for years. Daniel, thinking of their routines on overnight missions, or even just spending the day working in his office, supposed that, in a way, they had. They watched _Lost_ , went for a run, took separate, utilitarian showers. More _Lost_ , some _Harry Potter_ while they made lunch--Vala insisted on helping, and since it was salad he set her to chopping vegetables with reasonable certainty that she wouldn't screw it up. In the afternoon they watched more _Lost_ , listened to more _Harry Potter_ , and also did their own thing, Vala on her laptop and Daniel with a book. Well, as much as Vala sitting propped against the arm of the couch with her legs in Daniel's lap while she browsed the Internet and he read could be considered "their own thing."

Vala once again perched on the counter while Daniel made dinner, and they talked. Then, when the dish was set to cook for a while, Daniel put on a different record than the one of the night before and attempted to teach Vala what little he knew about swing dancing. They weren’t particularly successful at the actual dancing, but they laughed a lot and enjoyed themselves immensely until the food was done.

When Daniel told her that the dish, chicken tagine--she still wasn't exactly sure what it was, but it smelled wonderful--was meant to be eaten as finger food, Vala immediately decided to start a food fight. She changed her mind when she took the first bite: it was too delicious to waste a single morsel by throwing it at Daniel. There was wine, too, a nice white that complemented the food perfectly.

Vala finished and sat back with a contented sigh. "We can wait until tomorrow to take care of the mess, right?" she asked, a note of pleading in her voice.

"Absolutely," Daniel told her.

They went and laid down on their sides on the couch, arms around each other.

"So speaking of tomorrow," Daniel said, "it'll be Friday."

"O-K?"

"I thought . . . I thought maybe we could go out. Like on a date. A real date. A real, we both agree that’s what it is, date."

“Sounds lovely,” Vala said, wondering what the catch was.

“I agree. But here’s the thing. If we go out, it’ll be obvious we’re a couple. And there’s always a chance someone who knows us from work will see us, and pass on that they saw us. And that’s not how I want our friends to find out that we’re . . . whatever we are."

“We haven’t really defined it, have we? Beyond the fact that we’re in love and are currently being disgustingly sweet about it. Can we just say that we’re together and leave it at that? I don’t know why, but calling you my boyfriend doesn’t feel quite right. I mean, I know we’ve only just acknowledged that we’re something, but it feels . . . _more_. Than what boyfriend implies, I mean."

“I agree. Together works, I think. It’s not the label that’s important, not at this stage, just the fact of—"

“Some form of us?” Vala supplied.

He kissed her cheek. “Exactly."

“So, what was your original point? I assume you wouldn’t have brought up wanting to go out only to tell me why we can’t and therefore won’t.” She reached around to stroke her hand through his hair and up and down the back of his neck, mischief and memory dancing in her eyes.

“Mmmm,” Daniel said, closing his eyes and trailing his hand up and down her spine. “I just thought that maybe we could . . . mmm . . . see if everyone . . . “ he trailed off.

Vala laughed softly and stilled her fingers, leaving them threaded through his hair. He made a discontented sound and opened his eyes, but just barely, looking at her with pleading slivers of blue. “Say your piece and I’ll start again,” she told him.

He blinked his eyes all the way open, gathering pleasantly scattered thoughts. “I thought that, tomorrow morning, we could see if everyone is up for a little team meeting, and if they are, we tell them what’s going on with us. They all seem to be aware that we were moving towards something and didn’t try to discourage it, so I’m sure they’ll be fine with it; it’s just that, since they’re our friends, they should find out from us."

“OK,” Vala said, and resumed her light rubbing of Daniel’s neck.

His eyes fell closed, and this time he reached under her camisole to stroke her back, and it was her turn to hum contentedly and attempt to press herself closer to him, even though there wasn’t any space between them to begin with. After a few minutes, she began feathering his neck with soft kisses, with occasional detours to nibble at his ear. He moved his hips against her in gentle, lazy rhythm in response, and she hooked one of her legs up and around him, the better to enjoy it.

Their movements were soft and slow and utterly lacking in urgency, even when they began to divest themselves of their clothes. The important thing was the touching, to just be touching as much of each other as they could in ways that were soothing and pleasurable at the same time—it was at least an hour from when they started before they shifted gently until he was inside her, and even then they remained relaxed and soft and slow, whispering how much they loved each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all don't mind me sneaking in some headcanons that I've developed since starting this fic, namely demisexual Daniel and greyromantic bisexual Vala.


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it. The end. Thank you so much to those of you who have stuck with this fic and my slow, inconsistent update schedule. I sincerely hope that you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Thank you.

The team agreed to the meeting, and Daniel was pretty sure that Sam at least guessed what it was about, though he trusted her not to say anything.

He and Vala decided to keep things simple, so they held hands as they approached Mitchell’s bed in the infirmary.

“It’s about damn time!” Mitchell exclaimed before they could say anything.

“Indeed,” Teal’c agreed.

Sam just grinned.

“Is this all you wanted to talk about?” Mitchell asked, gesturing at the two of them. “Because if it is, you lovebirds can get back to whatever you were doing. I’ll talk to Landry and HR and make sure whatever paperwork you have to sign is ready for you on Monday."

“That’s it?” Daniel asked. Somehow he’d expected . . . well, something a little more dramatic, at least.

“Wait, you at least have to tell us who won the betting pool!” Vala said.

Mitchell and Daniel both froze. “The _what_?!?” Daniel sputtered.

“You didn’t know?” she asked him, eyebrows raised.

“You _did?_ ” Mitchell choked out.

Vala shook her head, tsking at the colonel. “You can’t honestly have thought I wouldn’t find out."

Mitchell turned to Sam, who held up her hands and protested her innocence.

“A _betting pool_? _Really_?" Daniel managed.

“To be fair, it was General O’Neill who started it,” Sam supplied.

“Of course it was,” Daniel said, resigned. “So who did win?"

“Though General O’Neill will need to confirm it once he has been informed that you are now a couple, as well as some details surrounding this change, I believe that it is I who most accurately predicted the timing and manner of what has transpired,” Teal’c said, and they all turned to stare at him.

Vala’s eyes narrowed. “Does this have anything to do with—"

“Vala, if he hasn’t told you by now, I don’t think he’s going to,” Sam reminded her.

Vala huffed a sigh and folded her arms. Daniel put a hand on her waist. “Just let it go. Come on, let’s go call Jack—that should be fun."

She turned to him and grinned, good mood restored. “From your office?"

“Seems like the logical choice,” Daniel said. Then, when she bounced off, something occurred to him. “But not for the reason I think you’re thinking!” he called, hurrying after her.

Sam winced, and Mitchell caught her expression. “How badly do I not wanna know?” he asked.

“It’s not so much what I saw as what may have happened after what I saw,” Sam admitted.

Teal’c looked resigned.

“What do you know that we don’t?” Mitchell asked.

“I know nothing. I believe, however, that they will be very happy, and that, in the course of our friendship with them, we will all see things we wish we had not. But do not worry: if it happens, I have some ideas of how to get back at them."

“Good enough,” Sam said.

 

By the end of the first month of Mitchell’s recovery, Vala had moved most of her stuff to Daniel’s apartment simply by bringing a few more things each night she stayed over, which was every night except the one or two that Daniel got really absorbed in something at work and they crashed in her quarters instead. The second time this happened, Daniel realized how bare her place was—having her and her stuff in his apartment already felt so normal, it hadn’t quite registered with him how much of a change it was.

“Do you want to make it official?” he asked her that morning.

“What?"

“Us living together."

“I suppose we should. These people do love their paperwork."

So Vala filled out the necessary forms for a non-Tau’ri who was going to live off the base, Daniel added her to his lease and made her copies of the keys to the apartment and the car, and that was that.

Much to Daniel’s relief, Vala didn’t try to behave unprofessionally—well, _more_  unprofessionally—during work hours. Though she still hadn’t given up on a repeat of what they’d done right after admitting they were in love with each other, no matter how often Daniel insisted that those were unique circumstances. Her tactics were underhanded, but he’d resisted so far, difficult as she sometimes made it.

A week after they’d officially acknowledged that they were living together, SG-11 requested Daniel’s assistance for a couple of days at a site they were excavating. Since nothing that he would be doing would require assistance, he went alone.

He missed Vala terribly, but what he didn’t anticipate was his teammates’ haunted expressions and the paperwork officially making Vala his assistant, and therefore his automatic accompaniment whether or not it was strictly necessary, ready to go except for his signature, that greeted him when he returned, along with a very bouncy, very clingy Vala.

“What—“ he started to ask Sam, but she shook her head.

“You don’t want to know. Just . . . sign the paperwork. Everyone will be happier."

Daniel couldn’t argue with that.

 

Finally, two months after they defeated the Ori and Daniel and Vala officially began the romantic stage of their relationship, Mitchell was declared fully recovered, and SG-1 was ready to resume their exploratory missions.

"It's kinda weird not having a big, bad guy to fight anymore," Mitchell said as they made their way down the corridor towards the gate room, geared up and ready to go.

"Yeah, that's how we felt when we defeated the Goa'uld. And the Replicators. The first time," Sam told him.

"Well, Jackson and Vala took care of that," Mitchell pointed out.

"That whole Ori thing was not our fault!" Vala protested.

"Just take the blame; you get used to it," Daniel told her.

"We played a big part in fixing the problem," Vala insisted.

"That you did," Mitchell acknowledged as they entered the gate room.

"There are still many planets in our gate system that remain unexplored," Teal'c reminded them.

"Yes, let's see what mysteries P3K-546 will hold," Daniel said, his tone somewhere between enthusiasm and sarcasm.

"And what treasure!" Vala added.

"I'm sure something will come up," Mitchell said, while Daniel bumped Vala with his arm, and she kicked him lightly in response.

Mitchell turned his head, ignoring them—they were always touching these days, and as long as they kept their clothes on and he didn’t have to witness any wandering hands, he could handle it. "Walter, hit it!"

The gate began dialing, ready to send them off on a new adventure.


End file.
